First shift at new facility, heard something don't know how it should be handled.

[sweetsleep28]

I just got home from my first shift at me LTC facility. I think it went really well. The nurse who was orientating me was super helpful and patient. She showed me alot tonight and made it very easy to understand. Here's the thing that is bugging me tho:

A former co-worker of mine recently accepted a position at the same facility. She and I are friends I suppose you could say. We worked together for an extended period of time at our old facility and did get to know each other. But when she was terminated we really didn't keep in close contact, maybe a random facebook chat once a month if that. Apparently she has been telling everyone including floor nurses and supervisors "sweetsleep" is coming to work here. Basically when I got there these people that I had never met already knew ALOT about me. The thing that bugged me was when the nurse asked me " do you have trouble getting CNAs to listen to you?" "Do CNAs tend to give you alot of crap?" I was confused at first. She then proceeded to tell me that she was told that I am "too nice", that I don't make ancillary staff to their jobs, blah, blah, basically that I am a pushover. I explained to her that that wasn't the case. I explained to her that I am more than willing to help anyone CNA, dietary, housekeeper etc.. But I will not be walked over or taken advantage of and that if something needs addressed it will be taken care. I didn't want to make myself out to be super nurse, or super b****, or make it seem as tho I have inflated ego.

Honestly I don't know why this bothered me so much. I mean I know what is true. I guess what truly bothers me is that I am already new to this facility, now I feel like I have to prove myself even more. Tonight was my first night and truly think that I will like it at this facility. I suppose I am worried about people having pre conceived notions about me. I want to say something to the other nurse in question but I know that it won't be to any avail. I also don't want any drama at my new job that involves me anyway. I guess I'm just wondering what I should do about the situation. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[xtxrn, ASN, RN]

Avoiding drama is always the best plan. Let the others make up their own mind- that will let them know who is more accurate about you- YOU, or the other person. :) Just be yourself- it sounds like you like the place, and that is HUGE!! Take it slow and easy, and it's been brought up a few times to not friend co-workers....if you unfriend the person yakking about you, and she says something, play dumb. "Oh, really?" You owe her nothing. But enjoy the new job :)

[Orange Tree]

It doesn't sound like there's much to handle. Just do your job and let people get to know you. Maybe they had a "pre-first" impression of you, but even if they'd heard nothing about you they would have still had a first impression when they finally did meet you. First impressions are often wrong, too.

[Zen123]

A little voice inside my head says" kick her orifice". :)

[nursingstudent85]

I would approach her somewhere private and ask her about the situation. After you've spoken with her document your conversation (date/time/nature of what was discussed/your co-worker's retorts); keep personal notes of what is going on in case things escalate.

If you feel like things can't be resolved after speaking with her, leave it alone. In most cases, these situations die out on their own after a few weeks. Whatever you do, do not contribute to the gossip by speaking to other staff about her or the situation. Doing so could make you appear unprofessional and as if you've had a hand in the whole gossip pool.

Also, even if you did attempt to resolve it people will think what they what to think about you despite your best efforts. If you call too much attenton to the situation you may be perceived as insecure and this might help validate your associates' false claims about you being weak or a "pushover". In my experience, with situations like this, it's best to put on a brave face and ignore the gossip. Keep doing a fabulous job and the naysayers eventually fall to the wayside. People notice their BS and distance themselves from them.

I'm speaking from personal experience with workplace bullies. More often then not, the bullies gossip their way right out of a job.

If things continue after a month or so, or if it's really hurting your morale, then I would address it (with your documented notes in tow) with senior staff. Is there a nurse manager or charge nurse you could talk to?

I really hope things work out for you and I'm sorry you were put in this situation in the first place.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

I think to leave it alone for now and see how things go. You can always bring it up later.

You could keep it light if you do say anything to her. Try something like, "Gee, Mary, I didn't know I had reputation for being too nice to the aides."

What do YOU think you should say or do? Why?

[BeautifulDoeLVN]

Sounds like your "friend" is a pretty sad person, the fact that she would call you out like that,people will see her BS.

You've said your peace to the other nurses, now leave it alone, do your job.

[mama_d, BSN, RN]

We just had a girl get hired on as a tech...older, no experience, was in upper management in her last job. We all had some preconceived notions of how she would be. Bitter or else thinking she was too good to start out at the bottom, wouldn't integrate well b/c she'd have that "management" aura, slow to pick up on stuff b/c she was older.

It only took a few shifts for us to see what idiots we were...she's sweet, more than willing to get her hands dirty, and is meshing well with our oddball personalities. Plus she somehow manages to keep up with working full time and going to school full time, despite her age. We're all wondering how the heck she does it without being witchy sometimes, cuz Lord knows it's hard enough to switch from days at school to ights at the job for those of us ten to twenty years younger.

So I wouldn't worry too much just yet...even if they have some idea of how they think you are, if it's not true, it'll only take a short time for all but the densest to realize they were wrong.

[gonzo1, ASN, RN]

Your post says "when she was terminated". Sounds like the woman may have issues. Just do your job to the best of your ability and the truth will be apparerent to all soon enough.

[dittosaur-bandaid]

People will have pre-conceived notions about you. They just will. We all do it. It was done to me when I was a brand new CNA working at a facility I then became an RN at. I was excluded from conversations and often felt shunned. I went home so many nights wondering why people didn't like me. 9 months later I have the respect of almost everyone I've worked with there (spare a few idiots of course).

Above all else, be a good nurse. After that, what can anyone really say about you that isn't blatantly petty? People that feed into that garbage are not worth your time and worry. Give it time, do your best, and people will start to warm up to you and see how great you are. It's good that you get along well and are helpful to the aides. You'll earn their respect quickly, and that is invaluable. Not all nurses can do that. Some of them are lazy, like bossing people around and are unappreciative of the hard work a CNA endures.

Let this idiot be your motivation to excel. People will get tired of hearing her mouth after they get to know you. :)

[netglow, ASN, RN]

Very cute "bandaid" love how you used the keyboard for your screen name.

To the OP. That wasn't very professional of your co worker. She does seem to be immature. So does your supervisor.

All you can do is pretend nobody said anything and do your job in the excellent way you are used to doing it.

[mazy]

That would really bother me too. It feels invasive and icky. But it sounds like that other nurse has some issues too that will eventually come back to bite her in the rear. I don't think it's worth talking to her about, she might run to the other staff with that too.

I would just distance myself and focus on doing the job well; don't stress out with the added idea that you have to "prove" yourself to anyone. You don't know your co-workers right now anyway and you may decide further down the line that you don't really care what some of them think, or that the people you respect never cared about what your former co-worker thought.