Hi everyone. I just wanted to vent - not really looking for advice but if you have any I'd surely consider it..
I've just finished my third week of nursing school and I'm just feeling so overwhelmed, stressed, and incredibly incompetent compared to the rest of my peers. I enjoy my classes and I really love learning the material (lecture/theory) but when it comes to skills and clinicals I feel like I'm not where I should be.
When it comes to clinicals I just feel like a deer in the headlights. I'm not afraid to talk to patients - I was a server for many years so I'm comfortable talking to strangers. In fact at my last clinical my patient spent the entire shift asleep so I spent that time talking one-on-one with other patients and helping the other nurses with basic tasks. However, anytime my clinical instructor asks a question I freeze and it's like my brain shuts down. I just can't think or when I can it's not the answer the instructor was looking for.
Compared to my other clinical classmates I am the least experienced when it comes to a clinical/hospital setting. We have a very small group - one classmate was a CNA at a local hospital, the other was near graduation at another local college for a BSN, and the other is a CNA in long term care. These three are so at ease during clinicals and are dying to jump right into the more advanced skills that we haven't been trained in yet. I'm sure that these basic skills are pretty boring to them but I'm literally just starting out so I'm still trying to learn all of this. I'm not sure if it looks this way but it feels to me that when these classmates look bored with what we're doing (and well already know so much more than me) that it reflects poorly on my ability as a nursing student to the other nurses and my clinical instructor. We are supposed to be first year, first semester nursing students but right now it doesn't feel like it. I'm sure I am reading into this way too much but it's hard to not feel inadequate when I'm paired up with classmates that are so much more advanced than me.
My other issue that I'm having is with skills. We learned how to take vital signs last week and the one that I just can't seem to get "right" is blood pressure. For our skills check-off we can only be +/- 4 compared to what our instructor is hearing. I bought a cuff to practice at home and still cannot match up with my instructor. We're also using the double stethoscopes which from what I've read can be pretty difficult to hear with. I've been practicing at home with my Littmann so I think I have a good idea of what to listen for and how bp works, but I am I just struggling. It's frustrating that it's such a basic skill and I am the only person in my class that cannot get it down. Sadly, I overheard a few students who felt the need to comment on how much time I spent practicing on this skill that is supposed to be so easy. That really stung. Everyone else seems to be moving through these skills with ease.
I'm in a great program. I can tell our instructors want to see us succeed but they also want us to be competent nurses. I am so afraid of failure. It's only been 3 weeks. I'm terrified that the rest of my semester will be like this and I don't know if I can emotionally handle it.
My school has an open lab that I plan on spending a lot of time in next week until I get this blood pressure down - I just hope I can figure out what I'm doing wrong. When we listen together I'm either hearing the heartbeat too soon or hearing it stop too late. For instance the systolic I heard at 126 - instructor said they heard it at 120. Later on I heard the diastolic at 54, instructor heard it at 60.
Wish me luck everyone - I am determined to get this right. I have worked way too hard to give up now - although a change in major sure does sound nice sometimes!
I just want to say that I like how much you care about your performance...and I think it's a sign of maturity that you are self-aware of where you are and how you need to improve. I'm older, so I have realized that I can learn from experience around me, not let their experience intimidate me.... Your cohort is in it together... Remember that. The most important thing is to not be negative...you are being introspective... Do not self-deprecate in your self-awareness. Stay positive and motivated
Honestly I was in your position the first week of nursing school. I had no prior healthcare experience and I was surrounded by some with previous experience. I was definitely the underdog. Not only did we have 5-6 classes including open lab and clinicals we would have tests from two classes on the same day !! It was ridiculous ! Not to mention these tests are NCLEX and I have never taken such a test of that caliber. I was definitely a deer in headlights.
However, that is nursing school. You will
Feel overwhelmed, stressed, and deterred on numerous occasions. Just know that it is perfectly normal. No one is perfect that is why you keep PRACTICING and TALK to your instructors!!. Let them know you are having trouble so they can help you. Because I did all of that, I got to pass all my check offs , clinicals, and have two A's, two B's, and one C. Just to think I was starting off the semester with all C's! I am in my third semester of nursing school and still going strong. Every semester presents a new challenge and will be stressful. However, if you can pass your first and second semester....you got this in the bag. The first and second will be the most challenging because you are new to all of this and you have to finesse your skills. It is possible hun. Don't ever compare yourself to others stay in your own lane. I did that to a girl who was a wiz in clinicals but found out that I'm my own person just like she is and I found my niche and what works for me. I also used to compare myself to other students who would get A's and I would get C's. However. I studied harder and worked to the best of my ability. Just because you make C's doesn't
Make you a terrible nursing student. There are great nurses who could only achieve C's throughout nursing school.
Also BE CONFIDENT. Fake it until you make it ...once you have that confidence and you believe in yourself you will make it. A preceptor gave me that advice when it came to my skills and I flew by with ease. I mean def know what you are doing but be CONFIDENT in what you are doing. Don't give up and keep practicing ...ASK FOR HELP. I guarantee you you are not the only one going through this. Good luck girl :) and update us!
This may sound silly but...make sure you have the ear pieces of the stethescope in the correct way. When I started LPN schooling (and again in my RN program) I noticed quite a few fellow students who would always complain about not being able to hear the sounds. I looked at their scope and realized they had it in their ears the wrong way.
Okay, I've been an LVN for 12 years, I've also been a Navy Corpsman and now RN. You are never going to feel like you know it all, you can't its impossible. When I started I felt so stupid until I stopped one day and realized my coworker with 30 years experience had just asked me a a nursing question (and not to test my knowledge). It all clicked for me in that moment. You just have to keep on keeping on. There will always be someone you think is smarter and there will always be someone who thinks you are smarter than them. Stop comparing. Just keep fighting. Its tough in the beginning but it gets easier.
It sounds like to me your being really hard on yourself. I have been a RN for 23 years and I have seen many new nursing students and I can tell you that the others that you spoke of scare me more than you. I think you need to take a deep breath and realize that you are being careful. It seems to me that you are doing the right things to become more comfortable. Don't give up, it will come. That's what being a student is about: learning and becoming more comfortable. The others you spoke of may seem to you to be more comfortable, but you said, " they are ready to jump in and do skills they haven't been trained on yet." For me, that is more of a concern than what your feeling. Don't quit, you'll regret it if you do. I promise it will get easier.
Those CNAs have a very short leg up on you... they're certainly better at bed baths and pericare, and in the general flow of clinicals, but those things are (a) a tiny part of nursing and (b) can be easily mastered with some experience. I'd guess that on the inside, they're feeling much of what you are but are deriving some self-confidence from their experience.
My suggestion is to speak to an instructor 1-on-1 to (a) solicit feedback and (b) to help them understand that you might need some different pedagogy than some of your peers.
Chin up...
Remember, it's a marathon, not a sprint. You'll probably be fine.
Did I write this? My first semester I had a huge drop in confidence. I would look at skills and say "How hard can that be?" and then fail at them multiple times before succeeding. By mid semester I felt defeated and I hated clinical. When I mess up (incredibly silly things like dropping meds on the floor or going into a pt's room several times because I forgot to ask about this or that), I remind myself that I'm new at this and with practice I'll get better. I have noticed improvement when I tell myself to slow down and chill. When I'm really worried I usually end up making mistakes but when I'm relaxed and take my time I do much better.
I am learning now because of your topic and I remember my college life. I just graduated this year and the only thing that I will guarantee you right now is the word PATIENCE, HONESTY(as I already know you already posses that attitude), CRY if you must(to vent your feelings) then after you overcome this difficulty you can now breathe a li'l easier but still not finished yet these situation is like a roller coaster. All nursing students are experiencing difficulties in different situations, your skill might not be theirs and their skill might not be yours, you only need to just relax practicing never push yourself too hard because you are only increasing your anxiety level. Mild anxiety level will help you to focus ok. I know it's easy to say, but aren't you wondering maybe also us are still experiencing difficulties in advanced learning now in nursing;-) keep it up and HAVE FAITH TO GOD and believe you can make it!!!
It is always difficult to be the new kid on the block. When I did my CNA training I had trouble with BP too. I kept practicing until I got it right. You are capable and it seems you are willing, practice is the only other thing required. I felt so inept when I first became a CNA. My feet were always in the way, I would forget the steps of a bed bath. I was afraid of hurting the patient. Eventually I was at ease. Now I carry on conversations with the patient while I work. It will get better. You can do this. Just don't give up.
Thank you for this.. I'm a little further along in my first semester, just when I think I'm starting to feel the slightest bit confident I make a fool out of myself in front of my lab group when the professor asked a fairly easy question about blood pressure. I swear she was speaking another language and I just went blank.. I'm always comparing myself to the other students with some medical experience.. I'll work on the positive self talk- thanks!!
phoenoryker
132 Posts
I just want to say that I like how much you care about your performance...and I think it's a sign of maturity that you are self-aware of where you are and how you need to improve. I'm older, so I have realized that I can learn from experience around me, not let their experience intimidate me.... Your cohort is in it together... Remember that. The most important thing is to not be negative...you are being introspective... Do not self-deprecate in your self-awareness. Stay positive and motivated