Feeling like an incompetent nurse

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I'm a new nurse (3months) and recently started a new job at a nursing home. I was so excited to start working I looked forward to my first day since they told me I was hired. The excitement didn't last long because I quickly realized it was not at all what I expected. I had 4 days of "training" but really I was on my own by the third day.

The residents were all used to the other nurse passing their meds and had developed a routine, I on the other hand was a mess and got yelled at by a couple of the residents because I didn't give them their meds the way they wanted them. One of the residents was especially very horribly mean and asked me if I was even a nurse and if I was I wasn't a very good one... even thinking about it still makes me cry.

I tried to come in my next shift and make it a good one but one of my patients was declining so I made the decision to call the doctor this was the first time I ever called a doctor for orders. I was all over the place missing information and the other nurse that was there instead of helping me just pointed out everything I had done wrong. I felt so stupid!

Again I told myself when I started the next shift that THIS will be the shift where everything runs smoothly. Everything was going great I felt more confident and was on time with my med pass. Out of nowhere the same nurse from the other day comes down the hall and yells at me in front of the patients family that I have to educate "my" CNA immediately because she was changing the patient while the family was there. I had no idea she had family in there because I was so busy trying to do everything right I didn't even realize the CNA failed to provide privacy for the patient. I was so embarrassed and felt like an idiot in front of the patients family.

Sometimes I think what if nursing isn't for me because I have not had one good shift and this is very discouraging.

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Congratulations on graduating and getting licensed! :balloons:

If it's any comfort, we all felt this way at your point in your career. Everyone feels incompetent when they are starting out. The transition from nursing student to practicing nurse is notoriously stressful. Nursing schools used to prepare us for this, that it would take about the entire first year to start feeling comfortable and competent and we should expect to be miserable through our first year, but you just have to just hunker down and get through it and come out the other end, but, apparently, schools don't do that anymore.

It's going to take a lot more than a few shifts to start feeling comfortable and functioning smoothly in your new role. Just hunker down and keep working at getting through your first year, and things will get better as you go. Best wishes!

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Thank you! I'm hanging in there :)

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Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.

It is so tough to be new. Hang in there and it will get better.

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I remember the first year/ year and a half, and it was the worst. It will get better, but it can be painful and it takes time. Get through the first year and you will feel a lot better about your judgment, assessment skills,and ability to do various nursing tasks. You build your skills as a nurse through your whole career. If the place you work at still feels miserable after a year, jump ship and find a better place or specialty you think you'd like better. As others advised, hang in there. It sucks to be new, and long term care is tough. I floated to long term care when I was first a nurse and I had the same things happen to me. When you are new not much is more deflating than working as hard as you possibly can only to be told your one of your patients that you're a terrible nurse (because they like their breathing treatment at 0900 vs. 1015, when you finally got there or whatever). So I am empathetic! My advice: try to shake it off and move on. Try not to go home and beat yourself up and ruminate about work until you have to go back the next day. Life it too short, really. Take care and good luck.

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Specializes in Emergency.

It sounds like a tough position to be in. You weren't properly oriented and that isn't fair.

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Specializes in Critical care, Trauma.

To many LTC residents, a "good nurse" is someone that gives them their medications the way that they like, at the same time everyday and knows if they want their meds with water/juice/milk, how many tabs they actually take at a time and how much help they need with each.

No one is born knowing the specific needs of every resident. And it's expected that you will be behind for a while because you're learning new routines. The more senior nurses/med aides will usually be on time but will get behind time to time because when you're caring for 10, 20, 30, sometimes more people, sometimes things happen that you cannot predict (Mrs. Jones fell, CNAs need help with simultaneous code browns, whatever).

I haven't worked in LTC as a nurse but I did as a CMA. I remember when I first started my last job I got yelled at by a partially blind woman because I was not giving her her correct pills. In this place I was in an assisted living so everyone had all of their own pills locked in their rooms (so, in other words, it's hard to give someone, someone else's meds). I showed her the pills and the packages that they came out of. She kept pointing to her 2 APAP tabs and said "I'm missing 2 pills, not these pills". Finally after taking 20+ minutes throughout this and after already being so behind I called the nurse so we could all go through the pills together. We all did and the nurse also saw that I gave the right meds but the resident just wasn't having it.

She was set off because I was late, and there was nothing I could do to make it right that day.

The residents grew to trust me over time and I went on to have great relationships with most of them.

LTC is notorious for these frustrations, along with trying to take care of so many people that it's hard to do beyond the required medications, assessments and treatments. Heaven forbid that you have a resident change in status, new family drama, have someone call in sick, etc. It's not an easy place to be, but you do get better at it every shift that you practice. Eventually the things that slow you down don't frustrate you as much because you know where you can make up time in other areas of your routine. And you come to know the residents well enough to predict their needs, know what needs to happen in order to help them feel better or more at ease, etc.

Call it trial by fire, but it sounds like you're already improving.

You got this!

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It sounds like a tough position to be in. You weren't properly oriented and that isn't fair.

"Isn't fair" perhaps, but typical for long-term care facilities.

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It sounds unprofessional for a nurse to be yelling in front of others. If there's an issue, you should be spoken to in the correct way and environment. Also, it would be nice if staff were more committed to teamwork instead of throwing others under the bus.

More experienced nurses have shared experiences of being new and these type of things happening to them when they first began. They did an article on the experienced nurse bullying in this years research. What is going to happen to health care once they retire. The patient comes first and new nurses that haven't had the experienced nurses knowledge passed down to them may be a problem for the field.

Everyday is different, we must adjust, keep believing in yourself regardless and one day you will come in and everything will go smoothly. You never know, this could be her way of "helping you". Things have changed. We all have different experiences. I believe if we share these experiences; there will be more quality patient care.

Why couldn't she handle the CNA issue? Doesn't responsibility go up the chain of command? It just sounds abrasive and unprofessional to yell and behave as described and being experienced, maybe it was okay at one time but it sounds like a thin line between authority and abuse.

If I were manager of a floor and I knew that was happening and I waited and did that, it would come back on me. Also, think of the fact that everything improved for you so you are progressing. Use this experience to motivate you! Make it a challenge for anyone to find anything wrong..you're almost there!

As mentioned stay positive don't let anyone else's attitude keep you from your goals. This will subside. Try to find a way to talk to yourself as you would a friend in this situation. What would you tell them if this were happening? I'm not in the situation so I can only go by what you stated and it sounds similar to the research the students did this year. There are many changes needed in the field and I hope that we can all collaborate to make positive changes for the best outcomes overall!

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Congratulation on graduating. I'm also considered a new nurse with less than 1 year of experience. Yes, you are not ALONE when you say that it is DIFFICULT. But, hang in there and it will get better. This is a learning phase and once you have mastered and enhanced all of you nursing skills and knowledge that you have learned in nursing school, you will start to feel better. GOOD LUCK

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Hi there dterra,

I can relate to you as I'm a new nurse also. I get yelled at by patients, aides and even doctors sometimes. Just hang in there and be strong. Don't let mean and negative people get to you. That's just life. There are good and not so nice people out there.

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