Feeling like a bad mom

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So I'm entering my 8th week of nursing school and I gotta say, I had no idea it would be so draining! :crying2:

There is never a moment of rest/accomplishment because as soon as I finish a test I have to start thinking about the test I have to take the next day, or the clinical paperwork that needs to be done, or the presentation I have at the end of the week and Monday mornings are always devoted to fundamentals testing so that lingers over me all weekend. But despite it all, I have managed to carry pretty good grades up to this point (B+'s and A's). The problem comes around 5 o'clock everyday when I come home and my kids cry at me and tell me they never see me. :sniff: My four year old told me last week, "Mommy I wish your school was pretend and would just go away!" -I cried the rest of the night!!!!

Can you fellow mommies tell me how the heck you're handling this? I feel like my heart is about to break in half! I miss them too!!!! I know it will be worth it in the end but the end is such a long way away!!!!!

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Awww...hang in there. I feel the same way. My kids have really made me feel like a bad mom at times. I had two classes summer semester and I feel like they hardly were able to do anything fun all summer long because I was studying or going to class all the time. I felt so bad for them. This semester has been tough for us too, all the kids are in school full time for the first time so there are actually three days where the only time I see them is in the morning when I am getting them ready for school. It has been hard on all of us. I am free all weekend, so I try to make sure we get to do at least one fun thing. It may just be going out to dinner or going to the library. I also volunteer in each of their classrooms for an hour or so a few times a month. I just tell myself that I am doing this for us, so we can have a better life and it will be worth it in the end. You are not a bad mom at all! You are a great and ambitious mom!

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It is a really hard time. I am a single mom to a little boy who is 4 and he has a hard time being dropped off at daycare. I cry all the way to school.

To make it a little easier I make sure that we eat dinner together every night so we can talk about his day, I always read him a bedtime story and on Friday nights we usually have a "movie night" where he picks out a movie and we lay blankets on the floor of the living room and have a sleep-over type of night. He usually falls asleep then I can get back to studying.

Just remember that this will benefit your family in the years to come and this is really a small blip in your lives together. I also make sure to tell my son that I am doing this for us, so we can have a better life, and that I know how hard it is on the both of us. Finally, just take it day by day and know you are not alone!

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I also have a little girl who turns 4 next month. She's been in daycare for several years now, so it was not as hard for her to adjust as it may have been for other little ones. I've been in school for about 6 weeks now and it's been quite an adjustment. I listen very intently in class and exert 110% during all classes and then I study every single minute I can before I need to pick up my daughter. I get up early in the morning to clean the house and make meals so that I can spend as much time as possible with my daughter to help alleviate her stress. I will also get up very early to study on the weekends. One other tip--if there's a test or assignment I have to do and my daughter is really wanting attention from me that evening, I will pull out a special giant white board so she can draw. It is such a special treat that she can be entertained for quite some time with it. Quality time and quantity time are two different things so just make sure that whatever quantity you CAN spend is quality--then you won't feel like a bad mom. Hang in there!!!

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Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

If you were a farmer, you would not feel one ounce of guilt for going out during planting season to plant your fields. Nor would you feel one iota of guilt for tending them through the growing season or harvesting them through that season as well. It would just be what you have to do to make sure your family is okay. This is the exact same thing. Kids struggled with it then too, but learn from it that hard work is required in life and that time together is precious. There are a multitude of lessons you are teaching your children as you do this. This is your planting and growing season. Embrace it as best you can and stop apologizing to your children for what you have to do (if you find yourself doing that...I'm sorry honey, Mommy has to study. Nope. Just Mommy has to study, we will have dinner together at 7 o'clock and I can't wait to hear your stories then). Keep doing what you are doing, making sure you have a routine so he knows he can count on getting his turn with you too.

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My son is 4 and watches that sid the science kid show. There is an episode where his grandmother whos a nurse comes in and talks and gives the kids flu shots. I watch that episode and explain to him that I am going to school to be like sids grandmother...he likes that idea :) It really helping that he understands a very simplistic version of why Im away and what I will be able to do when i finish. I suggest watching the episode with your littles. you can rent it at red bo and its on netflix. It doesnt make up for lost time but when hes feeling needy for me we rewatch the episode and he remembers why my school is so important. Good luck!

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I would'nt worry about it im a product of a mom who was in nursing school when I was little and I don't have any memory of it at all I also have a four year old son too i think of it like this it is better to do it now while they are young and can't remember than to wait until they are older and can remember just think of all the time you will have with them when you are done with school

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Specializes in PICU/NICU/ER.

I don't know how old your kids are, but you are NOT a bad mom! My girls are 8 and 12. Here are some tricks that help me keep my A's in class and keep " stellar mom" status:

ORGANIZE my time!! I get up early so i can get some studying done in the morning and I do a lot of my schoolwork while the girls are in school.

If I have an exam coming up, I make it a point to look over the material for an hour, twice a day for the entire week before the exam. I've found that I retain it better this way, and there is NO cramming, which doesn't work anyway. Try studying in short blocks and see if it works for you.

Always have a meal together. With our crazy nursing school schedule, it can't always be dinner. Make it a point to sit down and eat one meal a day together.

Set aside a few hours on the weekend to do something fun. Remind the kids that you need to get your schoolwork done so that you can have some fun. Do this even if you have an exam. You aren't going to retain anything if you're preoccupied with feelings of guilt. I set aside a few hours on Saturday and Sunday for hubby and kiddos. It's good for me to get away from studies for a while.

It's all about organization. You can do it!!! Hope this helped you some. I'm sure you're a great Mom, the fact that you posted this, shows that you are! Remember, it's only temporary!

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Specializes in Private Practice- wellness center.

jabernathy and RN2BDFW have some GREAT advice there for you. (Is it me, or do we ALL have four year olds? lol)

I consider myself lucky because when my hubby is home, my son is ALL OVER him like a wet blanket and I can get a LOT done. However, he works for the railroad, so I can't count on that 90% of the time. (It seems he's usually gone when I need him most! lol) I ensure that the time I do spend with my son is QUALITY time. We do a lot of reading, throwing (or kicking) the ball outside...you name it, as long as it is something he loves to do I'm with it. If I need to spend extra time on a class (like Med Math...UGH!) Netflix has some GREAT shows I don't mind letting him watch for an hour or so. (Super Why, Sid the Science Kid, Dinosaur Train...) Then he's entertained and QUIET and I can study.

DO NOT feel guilty. It only increases your stress level, and we're stressed enough as it is.

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Specializes in Telemetry, Case Management.

If your kids are very small, they will remember very little of this time period. I know its hard, especially when they are old enough to verbalize how much they miss you!!! But I talk about that time period with my kids and none of them remember anything much about it, and what they do remember is the FUN things we did then!!!

The last two quarters of my schooling, I had a 3 year old, a 2 year old and a newborn baby. This was back in the dinosaur days, and I remember my 3 year old hanging off my leg, my 2 year old at my feet playing with his cars, my newborn in one arm nursing, and typing a paper with my one free hand.

Now that they're all grown and gone and I'm in the same profession, it was for their good. If I hadn't become a nurse, I wouldn't have had enough money to raise them the way I did. (I wish I had become a millionaire and been able to really do things for them, as we all do!!!!) But this IS for their good, and years from now this sacrifice will seem very worth it.

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I have two boys - 9 & 6 yo - and the most valuable thing I have learned since starting clinical this semester is....the VALUE of time!!! Preparing care plans, studying for fundamental exams, practicing lab skills....takes a lot of time. I make sure to take a break and spend an hour or two with them...playing wii, board games, or just hanging out together. Like previous posters have pointed out - organization is key! There are always chapters that have to be read and notes that have to be taken, so there never is "when I'm done...I will_________".

Eat dinner together, read bet time stories, and help with homework!

You can do it!! :D

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