Feeling Guilty (calling in sick)

neneRN, BSN, RN · Feb 15, 2006

The only times I have ever called off from work have been when my children are sick, and that has probably been a total of 5-6 times in the past 5 years. I used to feel sooo guilty, but I got over that; my children are my priority over my job. Management knows who takes advantage and calls off all the time; if you rarely call off, it is understood that it's for a legitimate reason when you do. We get sick days for a reason.

LoveMyBugs, BSN, CNA, RN · Feb 15, 2006

I know I will probably get blasted for this, but why is it that people want their cake, and eat it too? You wanted both a career and a family, and you have responsibilities to both- your choice.

Not every one has a choice. Most people do not choose to be a single parent with no support from the other parent.

Like the other posters have said, you gave enough warning, and what kind of nurse would you be going on two days without sleep.

flashpoint · Feb 15, 2006

I don't think I am the only one who has done this so...I've called in sick simply because I didn't feel like going in. (Probably only 5 times in 15 years, but...) There were just a few times that I needed a mental health day...so would I feel guilty about calling in sick when my kids were sick? Nope...people call in sick for much worse reasons...hangovers, friends visiting from out of town, job interviews, American Idol finals, car in the shop...anyone can fake a cough or say they have a fever when the need arises...

RaggedyRN · Feb 15, 2006

UGGHH....When I re-read this post I realise just how tired I was. Yup...the guilt thing has left. Of course when I returned to work I was not surprised to have the heaviest district. The most difficult bariatric patient who is just downright mean was my patient. The staff is actually requesting to not have her, and are getting angry if they have to have her for a couple days in a row. :rolleyes:

Thanks for the support...I was overly tired, afraid of how work would retaliate and emotionally a wreck. It's amazing how a few good hours of sleeep and some kind words can put a whole new light on things.

THANKS AGAIN

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Feb 15, 2006

I know I will probably get blasted for this, but why is it that people want their cake, and eat it too? You wanted both a career and a family, and you have responsibilities to both- your choice. If it is something that happens only rarely- then don't feel guilty, but I have worked with people who "Call In Sick" for every piano recital, runny nose, and soccer game. And I have been scheduled for nearly every holiday, because "You don't have children."

I don't see where any of that has anything to do with this thread. If the OP were calling in sick for a piano recital, then your post would have more merit. As it is, though... :rolleyes:

live4today, RN · Feb 15, 2006

ummm not all of us want a career and kids....some have no choice. my cousin whose husband died suddenly and too young when her daughter was 5 comes to mind. she was forced to go back to work fulltime (after being home fulltime w/the child). another relative's husband ran off with another woman, starting a whole new family and sent her next to no child support for years. she was forced to work fulltime and go to school for lpn-rn so she could support her two kids, who would somehow just not quit eating, growing and needing things.
and finding sick daycare is nearly impossible. most kids want to be home when they are sick, so mom or dad has to call off sick to care for them. no crime there. when one is a single parent, there is no one else to depend on to cover when kids' needs come up.....
and most parents dont' call in sick for every silly kid thing. that is for another thread! it's hard as a person without kids to know the conflict one feels when he/she must call off sick due to kid needs (and i not talking piano recitals here).
the old "walk a mile in my shoes" saying comes to mind here. if your place of work is screwing you over for those who have kids, maybe you could consider making a stink about it, or moving on?

:yeahthat: well said, deb! well said! :yelclap: :icon_hug:

live4today, RN · Feb 15, 2006

ugghh....when i re-read this post i realise just how tired i was. yup...the guilt thing has left. of course when i returned to work i was not surprised to have the heaviest district. the most difficult bariatric patient who is just downright mean was my patient. the staff is actually requesting to not have her, and are getting angry if they have to have her for a couple days in a row.
thanks for the support...i was overly tired, afraid of how work would retaliate and emotionally a wreck. it's amazing how a few good hours of sleeep and some kind words can put a whole new light on things.
thanks again

good to hear you are feeling better, and that you no longer feel guilty. you should never feel guilty for taking care of your children and yourself. hope the children are feeling better, too.:icon_hug:

viking woman · Feb 18, 2006

:nurse: just popped in to see what was new on the site and had to respond to this thread; especially since hubby 'picked' a fight with me last night for missing a shift at work!

i recently returned to floor nursing (i am an lpn in a snf/ltc) at my former place of employment. i have had an injury that affected the number of hours i can comfortably work and i related this to the don when hired back, so that she would schedule me accordingly. what does she do my first month back? schedules me 6 days a week! i became stressed, exhausted, sick with the flu and in pain. i called in a couple of times.

the next month it was apparent that i was being 'punished' by my schedule. minimal hours (not enough to live on) and lousy shifts (i was hired for a specific shift, but willing to cover).

this last week our college age daughter had a medical emergency, hubby could not leave work to accompany me, so i left to attend to her, got snowed in and yes, i missed another shift!

my point being, i feel very guilty, i have discussed all of these factors with my don, i hold her partially responsible for her poor scheduling abilities and burning all of our nurses out at this facility! we have had a very high rate of call-in's since i have returned! we are all exhausted. oddly enough though, our numbers of staff available to work is not low. there are plenty of nurses that we could each have to only work one week end a month, yet i worked 3! we are also very 'top' heavy with rn's promoted to desk jobs that never get pulled to cover the floor! that includes the don.

needless to say, our morale is in the toilet. what is the solution?

melpn · Feb 18, 2006

Stop beating yourself up over this! It's not like you called out with a hangnail (or a hangover) or because you just didn't feel like going in. Someone had to take care of those sick kids. End of story.I hope everyone feels better-including you.

ABQLNDRN · Feb 18, 2006

When you have kids, their sickness is your sickness. Don't feel an ounce of guilt about it. If I ever had to choose between a job and my kids, my kids would win that hands down. There are plenty of jobs out there, but only one Mommy to take care of my kiddos.

thumperRN · Feb 18, 2006

Sometimes you just have to do it. I worked nights for a while and I know that sleep during the day and sleep at night are two different things even if you sleep the same amount of hours. You can't be at your best if you haven't slept. You may have avoided a much more serious situation by calling in sick.

jcgcrna · Feb 18, 2006

Your employer hired you not your kids (or husband, truck, animals). You have a duty to those who pay you. Get someone to take care of your other business or take vacation time. I have no empathy for those who carelessly dump on their colleagues for other than true emergencies. Modern RN's have very little loyalty to their fellow nurses or to their institution. Always a sore subject for someone who has been nursing for about 36 years and has called in for real reasoins of personal illness about 2-3 times.

JCGCRNA

Has anyone else called in sick when their children were sick? I work night shift on a very busy cardiac step down unit. My 7 year old had a fever of 102.6 when I went to work. My husband was given a medication schedule for the Tylenol and motrin. When I returned from work in the morning, my husband told me the children had a 2 hour delay from school due to snow:rolleyes: Despite the fact he an important meeting, he rearranged his schedule so I could take a shower and go to bed with my sick son and try to get some sleep. Half way through my shower he informed me the 2 hour delay was now a cancelled school day. I told my hubby to just go to work. The few hours he had arranged for me to sleep was not going to happen with 2 very excited kids who wanted to play in the snow. I now have three children staying home from school. I was so worried about not being able to get the sleep I needed before the next shift I called in sick. I have NEVER called in sick unless I was truely sick. I have been feeling sick to my stomach ever since.

Please tell me some of you have used your sick days for family sick days and that management didn't punish you for it. I have to go into work tonight and know I don't look sick...the guilt is just killing me....

P.S. I called in 8 hours before my shift started. I tried to give as much notice as possible..I do hope they found a replacement:uhoh3: