Family Members: Do you get along with all of them?

Nurses General Nursing

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You know you have to see them, but have you ever hated getting together with them? I mean, you still love them....but, can't stand being around them.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

I would have to write a novel to answer this completely, but I will try be succinct. NO I do NOT get along w/my family members...Long story, but basically after over 35 years of being treated like an outsider and basic parasite, I have decided it is perhaps best I stay on my side of the Rocky and Cascade Mountain ranges. They are happier and so am I. I have my own family now that brings me joy; a husband I adore and good friends. I can't pick my primary family but I can choose not to torture myself by being around them when I don't have to.

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Yes and no....

Father- not really (got a g'friend a week after my Mom died)

Grandparents- love them to death

MIL- needs to be put to death

FIL- awesome guy

SIL's- have two, one is great, the other is a hag (like her mother)

Brothers- different but love them...

I think no one can get along with everyone in their family. After all, you don't get to pick them like your friends. There are always going to be squabbles but you have to make the most of it. You always have options...

Kristy

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My story would be a novel as well. Some of them I get along with and some I don't. Some of our relationships are very strained.

I guess when we get to be adults we realize we can't choose our family, but we can choose our friends. But sometimes it seems so strange that sisters who grew up in the same household can grow so far apart.

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Specializes in ER.

My mom has a public side and a private side, she approaches me with the public (good) side now that I've been moved out for years, but if I stay longer than 3 days I start to see the private (evil) side. I'm amazed I could live in that house as a kid and not lose my mind.

Plus all the women on my mother's side suffer from depression off and on. All of them also use creative memory skills to cope with life. So I could say "hey mom, remember when my cousin got drunk in the basement, and was so hungover?" She would say, "he wasn't drunk, he got the flu, the poor dear. I don't know why you are always attacking my family, he's grown and has a good job now."

So you get the picture. If you came to my house you would have to know the history to follow the conversation, as it is all in code.

Mom :You know your aunt decided to move in with your grandmother because she is so sickly. The boys all came down to help her out but poor Jacob wasn't feeling well and had to spend the day in bed.

Real story : My aunt's trailer is rotting out from under her, and she hates her job and her life. She moved in to my grandmother's home and spent the next 6m (so far) with sticky fingers so when I visit the cousins they have old antiques that Gram "gave" them. You probably figured out that Jacob wasn't exactly sick, but he was coddled :) and the other boys (one is a dope dealer) moved the big stuff and spent the rest of the day high (literally) "fixing" the roof.

Sorry I ranted, but I am always so unsure about going home for Xmas. Usually the "public" family life is very nice, and I love them, but if it all degenerates it's really hard.

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Isn't it weird how the family dynamics changes over time.. when my PGM was alive we all used to get together for X-mas, huge gathering, ppl came from all over.. now that the "Matriarch"is gone, they don't get together, probably because they only did it for her.

Yah, I could write a novel too:eek:

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Yes and No....

can't stand my BIL and MIL....I have 2 SIL that are ok at times...

MY big sis thinks she needs to remind me how to live my life and how to raise my daughter, and how I should treat my hubby...My lil bro is a complte ace-hole...and my parents are great.....:eek: :confused:

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

In the last 20 years I've grown to enjoy my family, especially since they are 1000 miles away and we rarely get together. It's been a long rough rocky road for us all to be able to stand each other. LOL

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Definately do not get along with all family members!!!! Especailly father, and some others!! I have to say though, I have gotten very close to my sister. We are five years apart, and it never seemed like we jived. I never wanted her tagging along when I was growing up. I moved out and then when I would come home to visit she had no interest in hanging around with me.

When she graduated from college, that is when we filled the age gap I would say and our relationship has grown stronger ever since. This summer she and her family came to visit and my husband, her husband, she, and I and our kids went to a local amusement park. I must say I have not enjoyed myself so much for a very long long time. I don't think I have ever had so much fun with my sister. It is strange how people grow and change.

I have to say I think most of us could write a novel!!!! Happy holidays to all.

Y2KRN

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Hi! I could do a novel as well! I have a new sil, the sil from hell. we got along til she got my brother to the alter. she loves giving parental advice, even though she has no kids, and wont. money is her big thing, she tells everyone she loves my brothers wallet the best. she is very selfish, wanted us to cancel xmas til she got back form her month in Hawaii. I think not!! she makes me wanna scream!! Oh well, happy holidays to all!!

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The only family I claim are my daughters, my dad and DH...

My sister breezes into town and manages to steal things from my dad's house with each visit...the afternoon after we buried Mama, she was giving away some of her belongings to HER friend from high school....spent the days prior to the burial telling everyone how she hated Mom...then wailed at her funeral...I was unimpressed with her performance !!! Dad says he has to be on guard when she visits, frequently finds her searching through drawers looking for (???) anything she can put into her luggage before she leaves...

She didn't grace our presence for Thanksgiving but is planning on coming for Christmas...with her sons whom she has also trained to steal ...I will be an emotional wreck until they all leave...she usually manages to bring up the fact that she resents that our parents appointed me as their executrix of the estate...refers to me (away from Dad) as "Ms. Executrix"...I think she believes there is a treasure awaiting her...very GRANDIOSE...there just may be a "throw down" this year....ahhh...whadda memory we will make....

My in-laws are true sickos in every sense of the word and M. Scott Peck could have written an entire chapter about them in his book " People of the Lie"...

I am sure that we all could write books about our families...I have

begun writing a transcript....cannot submit for publishing until some of the relatives "die off" ....horror, intrigue, secrets, violence, blackmail,suspense...and then again...perhaps when the last of them have died, I will burn it in a cleansing ritual...it will probably smoulder for a thousand years !!!!

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Originally posted by MayoRN

You know you have to see them, but have you ever hated getting together with them? I mean, you still love them....but, can't stand being around them.

Wow! This thread would make a great show for Dr. Phil!

Boy, can I relate to all of you. Fortunately, one blessing of surviving a severely dysfunctional / fractured family of origin allows me to CHOOSE to not be together for the holidays. I love them but I do not 'have to' subject myself to the sarcasm, passive-aggressive comments/behavior, criticisms, judgemental attitude and attempts at manipulation/cohersion.

Choosing to be with loving caring friends or a 'family of choice' at the holidays is so much more gratifying.

Paula

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