Externship preceptor

[Rin nohara]

I was in step-down cardiac for my nurse externship. I was assigned with a preceptor who didn't want a student with him. The first day was okay but he was getting annoyed with my questions because I was so interested in step down unit. 

On my second day, He came late so he yelled at me in the middle of the nursing station telling me to go find a different nurse to be with. It was Saturday and the nurse manager wasn't there. So, I had to suck it up and follow him for the rest of day. the whole nursing station heard what happened so one of the nurses reported him for mistreating me since then he projected his anger at me. I also apologized to him for being a burden on him. He expected me to know how to do his job while he just stands there but he realizes I don't know how to do things. so he got frustrated and annoyed with me. So, I blamed myself I kept telling myself "why am I so dumb? why don't I know how to do Anything?" He won't teach me except If I do things that he didn't want to do (cleaning patients, wound care..etc)  He made me feel so dumb because I asked a lot of questions. I told him that I have some difficulty with terminology (I have dyslexia). I cried on my way back home, I felt so miserable.

On the third day, He gossiped a lot with other nurses so some nurses heard how dumb I am. It made me so ashamed to ask questions. The charge nurse started to speak to me slowly and ask me "do you understand?" like I am retarded. And her attitude was obvious making fun of me. I cried in my bathroom that day. The next day, I asked the manager if I can change my preceptor, but I didn't tell her why because I don't make a big deal of it ( I am the newbie). But the problem is she put me with a nurse who a best friend of my previous preceptor nurse. The second preceptor was taking his side. And I couldn't take  the mistreatment anymore.

On my last day in the unit, I heard the nurses were talking about how I didn't want to be in the unit and how I hated the step down  unit ( it was a rumor). I always came early to check  the  patients' information and provided the best care that I could offer to the patients. I loved the unit (loved my job) but disliked my preceptor. Now, I have a bad reputation in the unit. So talked to manager and I changed my unit. I want to learn from my situation. What should I have done differently? what  could I have done to prevent this from happening? Could you please give me some advice?

[londonflo]

This is why you go to a nursing college that always has an instructor present. I am not blaming you at all. You valiantly tried your best but no student should have to deal with this alone.

You should get a 6 month to 1 year student evaluation from your college where you get to speak about your student experiences and post-graduate experiences, These evals are anonymous. Make sure you cite what a horrible externship you had.  

[TriciaJ, RN]

Do not personalize someone else's behaviour.  Do not apologize for not knowing things, for asking questions or being a burden.

When he told you to "find someone else" to precept you, did you approach other nurses?  If there were no takers I think I would have gone home and contacted whoever was in charge of your experience, even if you had to wait until Monday.

You need to let the powers-that-be know that it was an unacceptsble experience.  Don't play the victim; just make it clear that you meed a more appropriate learning experience.

[newgradH, BSN]

It's a shame that some people feel the need to put others down to compensate for their lack of self-esteem. I'm so sorry this happened to you! Everyone is new at one point, and shouldn't penalize new grads for not knowing how everything works at first 

[JKL33]

8 hours ago, Rin nohara said:

What should I have done differently?

Well...okay:

8 hours ago, Rin nohara said:

So, I blamed myself I kept telling myself "why am I so dumb? why don't I know how to do Anything?"

The main thing you should learn from this experience is that you can't internalize others' poor behavior as if it is your own personal problem or defect. There are a lot of bad behaviors, attitudes and personalities out there, not just in nursing. It doesn't make sense to think there is something wrong with oneself every time someone else throws a baby fit about something. Many nurses struggle with patients' behaviors and interactions for the same reason: Instead of seeing themselves as a separate entity there to provide a professional service, they react as if involved in some kind of lovers' quarrel. You simply cannot be personally insulted and injured every time a coworker (or patient) behaves poorly.

This guy's behavior has nothing to do with you. NOTHING. If you weren't the student he would be throwing a fit about whatever different student was there, and if there was no student he would throw a fit about something else.

You are not to blame for this.

Consider some counseling to understand these issues, to bolster your self esteem and develop a healthy view of yourself. These are things that will help you throughout your career and life. ?

[klone, MSN, RN]

^^^^^^^Everything JKL said. The only thing you did wrong was take it personally and think that his attitude had anything to do with you. 

[Rin nohara]

9 hours ago, londonflo said:

This is why you go to a nursing college that always has an instructor present. I am not blaming you at all. You valiantly tried your best but no student should have to deal with this alone.

You should get a 6 month to 1 year student evaluation from your college where you get to speak about your student experiences and post-graduate experiences, These evals are anonymous. Make sure you cite what a horrible externship you had.  

I will, Thank you.

[Rin nohara]

8 hours ago, TriciaJ said:

Do not personalize someone else's behaviour.  Do not apologize for not knowing things, for asking questions or being a burden.

When he told you to "find someone else" to precept you, did you approach other nurses?  If there were no takers I think I would have gone home and contacted whoever was in charge of your experience, even if you had to wait until Monday.

You need to let the powers-that-be know that it was an unacceptsble experience.  Don't play the victim; just make it clear that you meed a more appropriate learning experience.

That day,  I asked one nurse to follow her instead  of him but she said no. looking back at it, I wish I went home that day but I really wanted to be there to the point I didn't think about going home. 

Thank you for your advice.

[Rin nohara]

2 hours ago, JKL33 said:

Well...okay:

The main thing you should learn from this experience is that you can't internalize others' poor behavior as if it is your own personal problem or defect. There are a lot of bad behaviors, attitudes and personalities out there, not just in nursing. It doesn't make sense to think there is something wrong with oneself every time someone else throws a baby fit about something. Many nurses struggle with patients' behaviors and interactions for the same reason: Instead of seeing themselves as a separate entity there to provide a professional service, they react as if involved in some kind of lovers' quarrel. You simply cannot be personally insulted and injured every time a coworker (or patient) behaves poorly.

This guy's behavior has nothing to do with you. NOTHING. If you weren't the student he would be throwing a fit about whatever different student was there, and if there was no student he would throw a fit about something else.

You are not to blame for this.

Consider some counseling to understand these issues, to bolster your self esteem and develop a healthy view of yourself. These are things that will help you throughout your career and life. ?

this is eye-opening for me.  Thank you so much for advice.

[PollywogNP, ADN, BSN, MSN, LPN, NP]

So you are there as a student nurse? You are a guest and should be treated as a guest.Where is your instructor in this scenario? Where I taught we did not place students with any nurses that didn’t want to have a student in their last semester/externship! Did you notify the school/ instructor about the incidents?

[mtmkjr, BSN]

Not everyone wants to be a preceptor or should be one. I do not understand why they put you with someone who was such a poor fit (and most likely would have been for any student). Hopefully because of your feedback he will not be in a position to do them same to anyone else.

[delrionurse]

I had a similar experience but it wasn't a whole shift. I was getting report on a patient, but the nurse I was assigned to wasn't there yet.  One patient was to have surgery so I asked the night nurse who was not busy, what time the patient was to have surgery so I can be prepared to assist the patient. She snapped 'Did you read the notes?!', then I said no, I'm just checking on the patient and the unit manager said this during morning report. She said 'Well, you need to read the notes!' 'I don't want anybody going in to the room, it's too early!" She was just ugly. I guess you just chalk it up to a person that hates their job.