Ever had to take care of someone you knew and/or didn't like?

MochaRN424, ASN · Oct 16, 2010

Hello, yes this happened to me. I had to take care of someone who while we lived in NY had talked about me pretty bad and of all things we were in the same church. I had left NY at that point 8 years and when I saw her I seemed to recognize her before she did me.

It's funny because I had mentioned that I know that patient so my peers thought we were friends. I didn't bother to correct them. They gave me the assignment and I took care of her as if we were still friends. I don't have the energy to hold anger or give a person like that any place in my heart.

I would say that if you think there may be a situation such as this person is out to hurt you...or would make up something that could hurt your career then I would professionally express that you would like to have another assignment and express your concerns. Hope this helps :0)

leenie123 · Oct 17, 2010

:nurse:How I delt with it was to look at it as my penence for the day, and offerd it up spiritually! Worked for me! also built more tolerence, and empathy for even the most obnoxious pts! Team mates would marvel at how I kept my cool even under duress...was all good, good! It helped me become more tolerent. :up:

Starting Over... · Jun 24, 2011

I'm not a nurse yet but I think the sweetest revenge you could ever give someone that treated you horribly in your past and now you are their nurse is to give them the best possible care that you would give anyone.

I mean, really go the extra mile to ensure that that they are comfortable, receiving the best care, etc...

Nobody likes to be in a position where they have to go to the hospital, doctor, etc...

Even if it is something routine like a a check up.

There's always that moment when the patient is in the exam room, patient room, etc.... where they are left alone waiting for the nurse, doctor, or whomever to come back.

In that moment, they have time to think.

Please believe , they are probably thinking why is Nurse Such and Such so nice to me when I treated them like crap way back then?

If that patient is anxiously waiting to hear good news from their diagnosis when the situation looks bleak, that patiently is then probably thinking: that nurse whom I treated like crap way back in the day is probably being extra nice to me because they already know what the final outcome is. At that moment the patient begins to pray, plead to GOD or whomever , " OMG!!! please let my diagnosis come back with good results. "

And that folks is what the sweetest revenge looks like

iNurseUK, RN · Jun 24, 2011

It is policy in UK hospitals that if a relative, friend or someone otherwise known to the nurse is admitted to their area to temporarily move the nurse to another area if they express discomfort with nursing such a patient.

Best all round I think. Prevents excessive attention to one patient or indeed avoidance. The emotional burden in Oncology is high enough without factoring in personal relationships.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jun 24, 2011

i'm not a nurse yet but i think the sweetest revenge you could ever give someone that treated you horribly in your past and now you are their nurse is to give them the best possible care that you would give anyone.
i mean, really go the extra mile to ensure that that they are comfortable, receiving the best care, etc...
nobody likes to be in a position where they have to go to the hospital, doctor, etc...
even if it is something routine like a a check up.
there's always that moment when the patient is in the exam room, patient room, etc.... where they are left alone waiting for the nurse, doctor, or whomever to come back.
in that moment, they have time to think.
please believe , they are probably thinking why is nurse such and such so nice to me when i treated them like crap way back then?
if that patient is anxiously waiting to hear good news from their diagnosis when the situation looks bleak, that patiently is then probably thinking: that nurse whom i treated like crap way back in the day is probably being extra nice to me because they already know what the final outcome is. at that moment the patient begins to pray, plead to god or whomever , " omg!!! please let my diagnosis come back with good results. "
and that folks is what the sweetest revenge looks like

they probably never believed they'd treated you badly in the first plact, but if they did, you must have deserved it.

ReginaPhalange · Jun 24, 2011

I did not read all of the replies, however, I live and work in the community in which I grew up. I run into people I know almost everyday in the hospital. I have asked to be reassigned twice because of a potential conflict due to our history. My charge nurse had no problem with switching patients. I just felt it was in my best interest. I know I could have provided exceptional care but I wasn't sure if they had let the past go and would become vengeful or spiteful.

I have also requested a change in assignment when recovering C-section patients that I know. I wouldn't imagine that either of us would be comfortable with me inspecting her delicate regions.

On that note, my OB/GYN has 2 people on staff that I know personally and call friends. I feel more comfortable with a stranger in the room rather than someone I routinely have dinner and drinks with.

No Stars In My Eyes · Jun 24, 2011

Once there was a woman admitted to the hospital and floor where I worked; when we were friends, I wondered why none of her family wanted to have anything to do with her; until I was the one who stood in her sites, and boy, did I ever understand then! I just asked the charge nurse if I could switch assignments with someone else; there was no problem. I was glad, too. because she would've spent her whole hospitalization ruminating on how she could cause trouble for me, This was a real drama-queen who thrived on agitation and recited the 'wrongs' done against her like she was working the rosary! I was probably happier than she was when she was discharged!

3dayRN · Jun 25, 2011

This may come up less often than you think -- I did most of my clinicals as a nursing student at the hospital 5 blocks from where I live, and then in my first nursing job, worked 1.5 years at a pediatric hospital 1 mile from where I live. I never once had a patient that I knew, or whose parents I knew. The closest I came to this was seeing a friend in the hospital cafeteria -- she was there for an MD appointment, and I was taking a break from my peds clinical.
Anyway, I had already decided that if I was assigned to someone I knew, I would ask for the assignment to be switched. This included people I like as well as dislike -- although I feel capable of giving the same level of care, I would not want there to be even an appearance of me being influenced one way or another by a personal relationship with a patient or their parents.

Same here, I didn't want to work at my local hospital because I didn't want to take care of people I knew. I have only seen two people in almost three years of working there that I knew. I also decided that I would request another assignment if there was a conflict with a patient that I didn't like (ex boyfriend, ex friend etc. :))

Starting Over... · Jun 25, 2011

they probably never believed they'd treated you badly in the first plact, but if they did, you must have deserved it.

nobody deserves to be treated badly ...unless of course that nobody is you

nola1202 · Jun 25, 2011

My BFF's stepmother was my patient in the OR. She is a very private person, and never shared much with me although we have known each other for 30 years, spent every holiday together and celebrated many birthdays together. While we got along well, I still felt awkward about taking on her care, because my BFF's mother and I are very close. I went to her holding room, I told her that I was assigned to her surgeon that day, but gave her the choice of requesting another nurse. I was very professional about the conversation and assured her that no offense would be taken, and that her focus should be on her...I didn't want her to worry over the fact that someone she knew would be taking care of her in a very vulnerable and intimate situation. I told her that I understood that she was extremely private, and that my job bound me to confidentiality. I explained that even if my BFF called me to check up on her, that I could not even confirm that she was in the hospital. She seemed to take a deep breath and her shoulders relaxed. She then surprised me by saying, "I am so GLAD you are here with me. I was hoping you would be my nurse. I feel so safe now." She had tears in her eyes and reached for my hand. I had no idea that she felt that way.
As far as taking care of someone you have had a violent run in with....hmmm...those are extenuating circumstances, and I would simply excuse myself.

I've had the same experience. I always thought I would just die if I had to be a patient in the hospital where I work, but that's how the insurance coverage worked. When I had a co-worker as a pt. I gave her the choice since she had always acted like I was sort of stupid. She suprised me by saying she requested me. Then when it was my turn to be the sick one, I had a co-worker come bouncing in, and boy was I glad to see her, I couldn't stop smiling! Hospitals feel much friendlier when there are people I know taking care of me.

Katelin Lyons · Jun 25, 2011

A nurse carries the responsibility of the well being of the patients. She shouldn't think anything beyond that. All other thing she should keep behind. The person lying on bed is just a patient who's suffering from pain and she has to care of that person in the same way whether he's a friend or an enemy or even an unknown person. The patient always hope that the nurse would take care of him and would be recovered from his pain by her services. I came across the following site and I think this would be helpful in this context.http://www.bls.gov/oco/ocos083.htm

Thanks

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jun 25, 2011

nobody deserves to be treated badly ...unless of course that nobody is you

either i've been unclear or i've really ticked you off sometime. in case it was the former, what i meant was that bullies rarely think they've made life miserable for someone. they think they're "giving back as good as they got" or "setting him straight because nobody treats me that way" or that their behavior was somehow justified. so in your example, the person you were speaking of probably either didn't know you thought of them that way, or, if they did know believed you deserved it. i was in no way implying that i thought that way.