how am i ever going to do this

Silverdragon102, BSN · Feb 17, 2008

I am very emotional but find it different when at work although at times I have cried with families I have gotten to know

ktwlpn, LPN · Feb 17, 2008

I am a nursing student and i wanted to ask real nurses a question...
i am so emotional....
i can cry watching oprah or listening to a sad story, i mean really cry. how am i ever going to be a nurse and be able to handle devistating situations without being emotionally exhausted everyday?
does it ever get easier?
how to you keep from get so emotionally involved?
i know there has to be other people going through this... any words of wisdom?

I was in bed last week watching the Westminster dog show-filled my ears with tears. Then I realized I had forgotten to take my zoloft for over a week.At work you'l have to concentrate on caring for the patient-you'll keep it together until break time or you get home.

leslie :-D · Feb 17, 2008

I was in bed last week watching the Westminster dog show-filled my ears with tears. Then I realized I had forgotten to take my zoloft for over a week.At work you'l have to concentrate on caring for the patient-you'll keep it together until break time or you get home.

when i'm by myself, i find myself crying at shows that no one else would understand why.

being a fly on the wall, one would think i was the drippiest person around.

yet, when it comes to work and 'real-life', my persona is no-nonsense and sometimes abrupt.

the only ones who see the core of me, it seems, are my pts.

my point being, is when it comes time to have to deal w/drama/suffering, mechanisms take over and you just deal.

sure, sometimes i cry.....

but for the most part, as nurses, we just do it.

what would affect you in your own personal space, will not be similar to your work environment.

we humans, are a complex, finely tuned piece of machinery.

as long as our central parts are handling the big stuff, the peripheral 'equipment' is protecting us from its potential impact.

you'll do fine....i'm sure.

leslie

Duckyaryj · Feb 17, 2008

I am the biggest bawl baby there is! I cry just thinking about how much I cry! At work its a different story, I will cry with patients or families when its appropriate but I find my self amazingly "strong" at tender moments that at home I would be causing a flood. You will do just fine. If you do find yourself overwhelmed don't hesitate to seek someone out to talk to.

Blee O'Myacin, BSN, RN · Feb 17, 2008

I am a nursing student and i wanted to ask real nurses a question...
i am so emotional....
i can cry watching oprah or listening to a sad story, i mean really cry. how am i ever going to be a nurse and be able to handle devistating situations without being emotionally exhausted everyday?
does it ever get easier?
how to you keep from get so emotionally involved?
i know there has to be other people going through this... any words of wisdom?

In nursing school they tried to teach us the difference between empathy and sympathy. Empathy allows you to compassionately care for people who are going through horrible situations without you getting personally wrapped up in the trauma of it all. Then you get to the point where you have the "audacity" to talk to your coworkers about where to order lunch in from while there are patients milling about in the ED.

In other words, you'll learn how to handle it, find a specialty where you can thrive and eventually be able to leave all the drama at work and go home and have a normal life.

Good luck!

Blee

BethT · Feb 17, 2008

thanks for all of your words of encouragement. i am sure when i finally get out there i will find my place in all the emotional mess and i will be fine. it is just so scary to think about.

i dont want to cry in front of a patient and make it harder on them dealing with what they are going through.

life is so complex...lol

classicaldreams · Feb 18, 2008

thanks for all of your words of encouragement. i am sure when i finally get out there i will find my place in all the emotional mess and i will be fine. it is just so scary to think about.
i dont want to cry in front of a patient and make it harder on them dealing with what they are going through.
life is so complex...lol

Hi TFAM,

I was in your shoes years ago, and I still cry at ackward moments. But that is part of what will make you a great nurse. Just when you become jaded, you will realize the brevity of the situation. Try to find balance in life and work, and don't forget where you came from.

Hope this helps.

Classicaldreams

Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP · Feb 18, 2008

I cry at work, sometimes. If it's a sad situation, or a family that I've really bonded with, I absolutely cry. Don't ever let anyone tell you you should toss your feelings out the window once that license is yours.

That said, you will with time learn how to decompress without losing your composure, or if you do lose it, you'll do it at an appropriate time/place. You will learn to leave work at work. It sounds callous, but is not meant that way. You do care, you just can't save everyone every time. It is the only way to save your sanity.

You might also want to consider what type of nursing. Some people couldn't do OB because of having to deal with fetal deaths but would do fantastic in adult critical care, or OR, or dialysis, or whatever. I for one could not do any of those things, but for whatever reason, I can handle fetal deaths without going off the deep end. (But I do cry almost every time!)

You will do fine. It doesn't happen overnight. It's a process. If you care, you're in the right profession. :)

P.S. I also take Zoloft.

Chaya, ASN, RN · Feb 18, 2008

Remind yourself that you need some degree of emotional separation in order to do any good for your pts. A comment made by one of my nursing instructors has stayed with me through the years. Can't remember the exact words but the essence was-your patients have to live through this. You get to go home at the end of the day. It's all perspective, really.

BethT · Feb 18, 2008

Chaya-

Thank you, that is really great advice. I am always looking for something I can say to myself, kinda like a pep talk , when I am in a bad situation and that is really great. I think it will help me.