Ever had to give up your dream job?

[Elizabeth Renee]

I recently have and I'm still crushed as ever.

For years I've wanted to be an RN in the military. I was recently accepted into a nursing program, so that half of the dream will be fulfilled while the military portion will not.

I was cooking last night when I had a breakdown over it in the kitchen, tears and all. I did not know how competitive it was and I also have celiac disease. I was offered a waiver in the past when I tried to go AF before I finished my pre-reqs but once it reached the NG bureau it was shot down. People under normal health circumstances trying to go into the nurse corps with high grades are still turned down. Me fresh out of school with no experience PLUS celiac? Not going to happen.

Now I'm trying to come to grips with being a civillian nurse and I admit it is hard. I know there is plenty of fulfillment to be had out there, I'm just stuck with the picture of what I expected myself to be, which is a soldier.

Not everyone can have every single dream of their's fulfilled in their lifetime. Have you ever had to give up a dream? Why, and where are you today? Do you feel fulfilled? I would love some feedback/inspiration/advice.

I really am horribly torn up about this. I mentally cannot seem to move forward.

[science in flowers]

Be a soldier mentally. A soldier's favorite motto? Embrace the suck.

[kp1987]

You were turned down because you have celiac? Wow

[VampyrSlayer, CNA]

I always wanted to be an actress. I lived in la and did background on tv and movies. When the show I was on as a regular was cancelled I had no choice but to move back with my mom in vt who I hadn't lived with since I was 17. I hated vt and thats the reason I left when i was 17. The plan was to live with my mom and save money and move back. My world flipped upside down when 1.my dad got sick so I had to move him to the area to help him. 2. Because I finally found that friend where you couldn't imagine losing them (I never had that) and I'm too attached to her 3 kids to think that I would leave and come back and 2 of them wouldn't remember me. My dad died earlier this year so I was released from that responsibility, but when I realized how much I'd be losing, I couldn't move back. I've always loved helping people and nursing was even in the back of my brain when I lived in la doing what I loved. My dreams changed. I'm looking for a steady job and I want to start a family, and I don't want to raise kids in la. I'm not going to pretend it doesn't sting when I see my friends from la booking roles, but I just remember I have something just as fulfilling here.

You'll find your new dream too...

Good luck

[amoLucia]

Complete your nsg school education and become the best civilian nurse you can be. Get a job within a VA hospital system and do good service that way. I'm sure those on the receiving end of your care will appreciate that service.

[Elizabeth Renee]

You were turned down because you have celiac? Wow

I've had various soldiers express the same thing to me.

The only way celiac could be a true inconvenience in my opinion is during basic. After that, I would get a pretty wide range of food choice on/off base. The only other time I could think of would be if I were out in the field or deployed doing missions in remote areas (which wouldn't apply to nursing that I know of). But even then, some of the kosher and vegetarian MREs are gluten free. However, then they throw out the "Well when rations get low, you can't be choosy" explanation.

It's extremely frustrating to say the least when you know it can be handled and you know they have gluten free options/ways around it. Many find out they have celiac after they join, are not medically discharged, and are still deployable (depending). But at the end of the day, when recruiting new soldiers, I'm the minority - who wants to cater to the minority when the majority can eat gluten? And due to the recession and downsizing, it's like they look for any opportunity to DQ you these days...

Maybe I was offered the waiver because my medical paperwork from my gastro doc literally says I can still eat bread and cookies without any negative symptoms. Who knows.

[OCNRN63, RN]

I had to give up a job I really enjoyed, one that finally paid me about what I should have been paid, had great benefits, because I became seriously ill and am no longer able to work. I've carved out a little niche for myself, writing articles for a gated online site related to my specialty, so that helps to some degree, but it's not the same.

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

I lost a clinical specialist job that I adored in a reorg when my hospital was losing money hand over fist and my nursing ed department was closed. I (and the critical care staff) was in total shock.

I hate the damn cliche that one door closes and another opens, it's so trite and pat and you always hear it when you are in such pain that you can't even see how you're going to get past the next day without your envisioned future, much less go looking for cryptic doors. But within a few weeks, there it was, a completely different job, specialty, and milieu-- completely out of hospitals. I became a newbie, although one that had a terrific clinical background to apply to this new specialty, none of the other nurses in the office had that kind of experience, and we all helped each other. And within weeks I stopped hating the woman in the hospital who screwed me out of my career and blessed the day she did it because what I fell into was so, so, so much better.

And still is.

It will get better. Grieve, and when you can, move on. Time will pass regardless. :flwrhrts:

[OCNRN63, RN]

I lost a clinical specialist job that I adored in a reorg when my hospital was losing money hand over fist and my nursing ed department was closed. I (and the critical care staff) was in total shock.

I hate the damn cliche that one door closes and another opens, it's so trite and pat and you always hear it when you are in such pain that you can't even see how you're going to get past the next day without your envisioned future, much less go looking for cryptic doors. But within a few weeks, there it was, a completely different job, specialty, and milieu-- completely out of hospitals. I became a newbie, although one that had a terrific clinical background to apply to this new specialty, none of the other nurses in the office had that kind of experience, and we all helped each other. And within weeks I stopped hating the woman in the hospital who screwed me out of my career and blessed the day she did it because what I fell into was so, so, so much better.

And still is.

It will get better. Grieve, and when you can, move on. Time will pass regardless. :flwrhrts:

​"When God closes a door, he always opens a window." Blech, I agree with you.

[Elizabeth Renee]

I sincerely appreciate these responses. It really does help with coping!

[MommyandRN]

Wow, I didn't realize the military turned away celiac! It's diet controlled! You would think they would want someone based on other qualities!

My mom has a friend who was turned away from being a NUN because of a heart murmur. Hilarious. These days no one wants to be a nun. Now this woman is a grandmother of many and I would never picture her any other way.

I gave up a 2nd interview for a dream job once, and I am sad thinking about it. I was offered another job closer to home that wasn't as much of a "leap" (more what I was doing before). I think there is always time to go back to it later on though. I have 25 more years of nursing at least, right? Who knows, maybe the military will change the celiac policy in a few years.

[JeanettePNP, MSN, RN, NP]

My dream job was to be a PICU nurse, but I was ready to accept any acute care RN job that would bring me closer to this goal.

I did everything I could do to make myself an attractive candidate. I graduated at the top of my class with a near-perfect GPA. I volunteered. I joined professional organizations. I took PALS and ACLS. I called every contact I could think of to let them know I was looking for a job. I sent out hundreds of applications. I watched my classmates get hired, one by one, but I was left out in the cold. After 6 months of unsuccessful job searching I decided to go back for my master's, as a pediatric NP.

I don't mean to start a war over whether nurses should be able to become NP's with no hospital experience. It certainly wasnt' the position I wanted to be in, but the only other choice I had was to keep applying and keep hoping, and I just was not able to keep it up anymore. So I went back to school, finished my master's, and I'm now working as a pediatric NP in a specialty clinic.

Do I feel the lack of acute care experience? You bet. I still feel insecure about what I'd do if anything terrible should occur during my watch. My assessment skills are still spotty. Almost all my clinical rotations were in outpatient clinics, so I have very little experience with children who are acutely ill. I don't have a firm grip on what MIGHT happen if I don't manage the case properly on the outpatient level. I know it by the book, but I have not seen it with my eyes. If I could turn the clock back, I would get the acute care/PICU experience first. But then again, that wasn't the option I was given. It wasn't a choice of, be a PICU nurse or go back and get your master's. It wasn't even a choice between being a PICU nurse or some other inpatient RN job. It was, be a struggling unemployed new grad or go back get your master's.

So, yes, I did and still do have trouble coping with the fact that my dream was denied to me. At this point I don't see a way to get the acute care experience I feel I'm lacking. I tried applying to RN jobs after getting my masters... still no luck. A new grad NP with no acute experience is still a new grad, as far as the hospitals are concerned. I was lucky enough to find a job working for an MD who was able to look past my lack of experience and appreciated what I do bring to the table -- my education, intelligence and ability to interact effectively with children and their families.