ER Quiz

Nurses Humor



1. You are assisting a primary nurse with charcoal administration

down an orogastric tube. The room measures eight feet by twelve

feet. The patient starts to retch before the tube is pulled. Knowing

that charcoal can spew out of a tube in a five foot radius (even with

a thumb over the opening) and the stretcher is two feet wide, how many

feet per second do you have to back up to get less charcoal on you

than the primary nurse?

2. Doctor A picks up a chart out of the rack. S/he finds that it is

a repeat patient with abdominal pain. Doctor A puts the chart back.

Doctor B picks up the chart five minutes later and also returns it

to the rack. Doctor A leaves the nurses' station heading south at

three miles per hour. Doctor B leaves the nurses station for the

doctors' lounge at five miles per hour. How long before the patient

is at equal distance from Doctor A and Doctor B?

3. You were assigned two large treatment rooms and the gynecologic

room. By the end of the day you have cared for ten patients. Four

patients were female over the age of 80, all complaining of weakness.

Two patients were male, ages 72 and 50. The last four were female,

between the ages of 24 and 40, all complaining of abdominal pain.

It is 3:00 p.m. and time to restock the rooms. How many bedpans

will you need?

4. You are the primary nurse for an elderly patient with

congestive heart failure. The IV stick was exceptionally

difficult, but you are able to start an 18 gauge catheter

on the second attempt. You leave the room to check on another

patient. A relative thinks that the IV has stopped dripping

and opens the clamp. How much IV fluid will infuse before

you return?

5. You are sent for your morning coffee break. You need to

use the restroom but can't find one unoccupied and have to

walk down to the lobby. The coffee pot is dry and you have

to make more. When you get to the cafeteria, the line extends

ten feet into the hallway. You can't remember exactly when

your break began. How much time do you have left?

6. You are the primary nurse taking care of a particularly

shy female in the gynecology room. Her private physician

arrives to see her, but you can see that he is not in a

particularly good mood. After much coaxing, the patient

agrees to a pelvic exam. How many people will open the

door during the exam?

7. An elderly man arrives in the Emergency Department by

rescue squad. Twenty minutes later his wife arrives and

registers him. She is shown the entrance to the department

and slowly shuffles in. How many rooms will she walk into

before she finds him?

8. You are assigned to the EENT room. You have a patient to

be checked for a peritonsillar abscess. The ENT physician has

been paged and expects to arrive in 45 minutes. Three hours

later, he arrives and is at the patient's side, asking for

a flashlight. Lightly jogging at 22 miles per hour, how many

rooms will you have to search before you find one?

9. You have been asked to cover a coworker's rooms during her

break. One of her patients is an elderly, confused male with

an enlarged prostate. A catheter has been inserted and his

physician is coming to see him. Somehow he manages to get

off the stretcher. The drainage bag is firmly hooked to the

side rail. Knowing that the catheter is 16 inches long and

the drainage tubing is three feet long, will he be able to

reach the door before pulling out the catheter?

Sad, but so true

Specializes in Pediatric Pulmonology and Allergy.

How did this go so long without more comments? Hilarious, and very true.

I especially like the charcoal equation.

Specializes in Telemetry & Obs.

Thanks!! I sent this to my last clinical instructor who works in the ED...she'll love it :)

Specializes in Education, Acute, Med/Surg, Tele, etc.



1. Doesn't matter as long as someone is in front of you or you duck well!

2. If they don't stop in the room..who cares I means the Pt probably saw them and will be ringing you in soon to ask why they are not being treated!

3. You mean pts wait for bedpans? I just keep a change of linen in rooms! LOL! And if they don't use their urinals they make good flower arrangements for the people that don't understand that flowers aren't allowed!

4. Who cares! Stop flow, assess with a dirty look to upset the family members...maybe something about "you just about killed them!" to MD or charge nurse so blame is on pt to CYA ya know! If time allows, help pt...LOL!

5. My time does not start till coffee is in my hand!!!!!! PERIOD!

6. intern that "just wants to see this" a janitor that needs to change the lightbulbs, and the housekeeping taking out the trash! All of which give as much advice and info as the MD!

7. None, she will be standing at the nursing desk waiting for someone to notice her and ask her what she needs. Approx time....1-2 hours!

8. If you know your will search one and say "there are none", or if you are like me...I have a small flashlight with me to save time...of course the batteries will be dead!

9. Assume it is out...they are quicker than you think! Not to mention the tug factor when they notice they have something in their 'john thomas' thing is out! Prep for new one...


Specializes in ER/Trauma.

This awesome little ditty surely deserves the light of day.

Thank you, Very Ex-RN.


Specializes in NICU.

Now why doesn't the NCLEX focus on these types of real nursing questions...:D

That would make it too easy!:yeah:

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