What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for? - page 90

1. 
   Apr 24, '09

   Quote from sjc80

   I know all you emerg nurses probably think it's dumb, but I went to emerg today for a dislocated toe.
   
   I knew what was wrong with it, but I pulled and pulled and it just wouldn't go back into place. I called my family doctor and they said they wouldn't do anything with it because they couldn't know for sure if it wasn't broken. I felt like an idiot going to emerg (mostly because I've read this post and people have said it's a dumb reason to go in!).
   
   The doctor gave it one good tug and it was back in! I still feel like a dumba$$ :-(

   I went into ER with a dislocated finger April 1. I didn't know if it was dislocated or fractured and even if I *had* known it was dislocated, I wouldn't have tried to reduce it myself. I also had a mild concussion, my second in 7 weeks. Had I not had the dislocation, I wouldn't have gone to ER but would have just been taken care of through an outpatient clinic, which is where I went first. The clinic doctor sent me to ER because he didn't feel comfortable reducing it, or dealing with a fracture, whichever it was.
   
   I had to wait about 3 hours, but it wasn't too bad. I was kind of dazed from the head bonk, so I was content to just kind of rest.
   
   You reduce a dislocation wrong you risk damaging nerves, ligaments or tendons; why not let the people who do it all the time take care of it? Certainly you won't triage 1 or 2, but you won't rate a 5 or be talked about over the coffee pot, either.
2. 
   Apr 25, '09

   I have to admit that unfortunately that I am one of those annoying ones on the rare occasion. The was this one time when I had laparoscopic surgery and one of the wounds dehisced about 2 days afterwards (Only a small belly button one but I could look into it and see muscle move). I was distraught and depressed after the surgery and when I rang up the original surgeon he was very unsympathetic made me feel like a complete idiot. GP's didnt want to know me because they didnt do the surgery. So I went into the ED and they made me feel worse as they had the same opinion as the GP. and just told me to stick a film dressing over it (which I am allergic to). So yeah I hate going into ED as a patient personally.
   And this other time I was forced by my nurse in charge to get checked out for palpitations. I knew it was panic attacks since I was in a pretty horrible situation a few days back (sexually molested in a huuuuge crowd and felt like I was being crushed in a hoard). I just hated it because I felt like it was a complete waste of resources and such stupid excuses to go in.
   
   Always hated going in as a patient but love working there.
   One of the more interesting ones is where a patient as swallowed a huge piece of steak that they havent chewed properly and got it stuck in their oesophagus. Apparently its called steakhouse syndrome... I call it greedy pig syndrome.
   And babysitting a drunk who come in with insomnia..wouldnt you know it as soon as his head hit the pillow (didnt give him anything) he was snoring and keeping the rest of the patients awake.
   
   In Australia I believe the system may be a bit better in discouraging people from abusing the system. People have to pay for ambulances here and the ambos are able to refuse transportation for stupid reasons. The emergency treatment is free in public hospitals however triage nurses are able to pretty much say to patients that this is not an emergency go see your GP. Doesnt stop them from trying though. They still manage to come in for treatment if the triage nurse is lenient. However most that are treated are legitimate
3. 
   May 2, '09

   10/10 pain; my thigh is "super red and swollen" and "my dad is a doctor, but since I'm way up here at college, I just knew I had to come in."
   
   Diagnosis? Ingrown hair. ARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!
4. 
   May 2, '09

   "I just came from the shelter [adopted a dog] and they had a potbelly pig there that was just lying down and probably sick...I need some tammy flu..."
5. 
   May 4, '09

   Quote from loricatus

   "I just came from the shelter [adopted a dog] and they had a potbelly pig there that was just lying down and probably sick...I need some tammy flu..."

   
   Well, that woke my husband up. Or maybe it was the bellowing guffaw that came from me that did it. "Tammy flu". Holy cow. Tammy flu. That's the best one I've heard in a while.
6. 
   May 4, '09

   When I worked at the VA, we had a patient come into the ER because he said that he went to lunch and ordered a club sandwich. He said that when he got it, that it had toothpicks holding it closed. He said that he thought there were 3 total, but when he got done eating his meal, he only saw 2. He wanted an xray to see if he ate one!!! NO signs or symptoms of distress, no evidence he ate it, and doesn't really know if there were 3 to start with.
7. 
   May 13, '09

   Occasionally we read on here about women (the majority of the on Medicaid) who come into the ED just to get a pregnancy test so they don't have to put up the with "inconvenience" of waiting to see their doctor or having to pay for one at the store. Usually it's been stated on here to go to the Dollar Tree or Dollar General to get a pregnancy test for a dollar and some change.
   
   Apparently, a lot of people took the AN's advice of going to the Dollar Store to get a test, but they don't want to pay for them there either. They've become a high theft item and are now locked up behind the counter to prevent theft.
   
   I wonder where it's written into the constitution that one has the right to life, liberty, happiness and a free pregnancy test if one should get knocked up while pursued in said rights?
8. 
   May 14, '09

   pt: "I have a fever"
   me: "Your temperature is normal"
   pt: "My mother felt my head and thought it was warm"
   pt's mother: "It was"
   me: "Is anything else bothering you?"
   pt: "No"
   me: "OK, one of our doctors will be in shortly"
   
   Had this conversation more times already than I ever thought possible. Only saving grace is I generally get 5's from these pts.... But what a waste of time.
9. 
   May 15, '09

   I just worked with OB/GYN patients in the ER, but we saw some pretty interesting stuff.
   
   -Box cutters in the vagina - A prisoner knew she was going to be arrested, and this was her way of trying to land herself in solitary. She refused to be treated, and we had to tell the officers that nothing could be done until they came back with a court order since we weren't going to hold her down and commit battery. ..... Now I've never been to jail, but I'm pretty darn sure this isn't a risk I'd be willing to take!!!!!!
   
   -"I have gonorrhea."
   "What makes you think that?"
   "It's going around my family."
   
   -"I think I might have an STD, but it's not from having sex."
   "How do you think you got it, ma'am?"
   "Either my cough syrup or sharing a bed with my dog..."
   "Are you having sex with your dog?"
   "no"
   "Then he didn't give you a sexually transmitted disease."
   
   -A woman reportedly hid $160 of cash in a ziplock bag inside of her vagina from her boyfriend so he couldn't spend it on drugs. A few days later, she came in for severe pain. She asked the doctor if she'd get the cash back, to which he replied "nope, finders keepers!" -- We didn't find the money.
   
   -"I think I got that tricky osmosis again."
   
   -HIV patient, can't recall the complaint
   "I only sleep with men who have HIV. Don't worry."
   Dr "How do you know who has HIV and who doesn't?"
   "I look into their eyes to see if they look sickly inside."
   
   -"I just had this baby on the bus on the way to the hospital, but the nurse in labor and delivery told me I can't be there."
   "Ma'am, that is a stuffed pink cat."
   "No, it's the baby I just had on the bus."
   "Why did you just wet your pants?"
   "That must have been that baby fluid... No, actually it's just because I needed to go. I don't have to stay here, you know."
   "No ma'am, you're right, you don't."
   ... and then she walked out (fear not, we had her picked up by the hospital police before exiting the hospital for a psych eval)

   Last edit by LovingOBFutureFNP on May 15, '09
10. 
    May 16, '09

    Male pt at triage window checking in with registration "I need to be seen" (as I listen from behind my desk next to her with another patient in the chair).
    Clerk "whats wrong sir"
    pt "I have a rash"
    Clerk "where is your rash"
    pt "on my bird" I start to smile, this will be fun
    
    Call the patient in..."so I overheard you have a rash?"
    pt "yeah...I got some flea and tick stuff, you know the kind in the tube...well I put it on my dog...but I guess she must have snuggled up with me last night cause I got this rash on bird now"
11. 
    May 17, '09

    We often joke that our ED should be renamed 'The department of tea and sandwiches'. Our folks have such co-morbidities that they are assured of getting a bed and treatment when they are hungry and feel the need for a bed.
12. 
    May 17, '09

    You won't believe this one.. a 14 y/o with a 2 liter coke bottle up his rectum. Required surgery to remove.
13. 
    May 17, '09

    mom brings kid in w/fever to 104....kid vomiting from having to SWALLOW the suppository that mom gave him.........
    
    same vein........different mom shoving suppositories up the kid's arse WITHOUT REMOVING THE FOIL!!!!!!
    
    can't make this sh*t up!

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