Elderly patients: First name or Mr/Mrs?

laurasc · Sep 1, 2003

I'm really glad that I'm not alone on this.

For the record, I am the only nurse in that office and aside from the doctors the rest of the staff consists of receptionists aged from 18 to about 30. (I'm the old fogey too! :rolleyes: ) Everyone is on a first name basis there, including elderly patients. That just doesn't sit well with me.

As for children calling me by my first name, the only place that happens is in church. None....and I mean NONE of the neighbourhood kids call me Mrs. "Sc" even though I tried to correct that.

It must be a generational thing because people my age and older are still doing the Mr and Mrs whereas a lot of the younger sect are not.

Eesh! Talk about a generation gap! :stone

Laura

EvilJen · Sep 1, 2003

i work in an old ppls home, and me and all the staff refer to the residents as how they liked to be called, so some of them r like bob or whatever and others r like mr jones or summat. but wen im on placement i ask the patients what they want 2 b called b4 just calling them by there 1st name, although this is what they usually want. id never call them darling or sweethart though, ive seen some of the more experienced nurses doing so adn it seems rude when u dont even no them!

Nurse2bSandy · Sep 1, 2003

I know that although I was fairly close to my dr, he always addressed me by my last name... I think it wasn't necessarily the respect to me, but to our relationship. He was not my friend... he had "orders" for me to follow, and he wanted me to take him more seriously than I took my friends.

It makes me think that when I want what I say to be taken more seriously, I might need to maintain a certain seriousness in our relationship.

Just getting to clinicals myself... I'll have to see how it works out with me...

Paige Turner RN · Sep 1, 2003

I always ask their preference when introducing myself at the beginning of the shift.

LauraLou · Sep 1, 2003

I was raised to always call people Mr. or Mrs. I still use Mr. or Mrs. when speaking to people who are older than me, both at work and in my personal life. I think it is very disrespectful to call someone in their 50's plus by their first name unless they have asked you to do so.

For people in their thirties and forties, I use their last name when they are a patient. I think people feel very vulnerable in healthcare setting and referring to them as Mr. or Mrs. gives them a sense of control and respect. I do call people in their early twenties and younger by their first name, but perhaps I should reconsider that.

My mother hates it when younger people use her first name. She always corrects them in a rather frosty tone of voice. That includes doctors, police officers and IRS auditors!

Someone mentioned referring to women as Miss "first name". I think it is a Southern thing. I had a next door neighbor who I called Miss Harriet. I think it signifies a close relationship while still showing respect. I would never call anyone Miss "first name" unless they asked me to, but I have no problem if children want to call me Miss Laura.

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Sep 1, 2003

Had one resident at the nursing home i worked at that everyone called Grampa. He NEVER responded to his first or last name, and his wife was fine with us calling him that. She said that he'd always been very proud to have that title.

Brownms46 · Sep 1, 2003

I'm one of those "olders" who doesn't like to be addressed by those younger by my first name. But I didn't like it when I was young adult. I was raised during a time when anyone older than you was treated with respect. You never spoke to an adult in a disrespectful way, and not using Mr, Mrs, or Ms, was not something you wanted your parents to hear you say.

I always address someone as Mr, Mrs, or MS and their last name, until they tell me otherwise. And because of my military background and training growing up, I still say Yes Sir and No Sir. People call me on this all the time, but I still do it as a reflex.

KLS · Sep 4, 2003

This is an interesting thread. I once had a pt, new admit of a day or so, ask me why the staff, myself included were calling him MR so and so, he said he felt so old when they did that. I explained why I did the same ..it's how I was raised. He said oh, ok, just PLEASE call me Bob, I'd feel so much more at ease. For the rest of his time with us, he was Bob. But, i too, have always addressed my pts by MR, MS or MRS. most will say, oh..please call me Mary, Bob,etc. i think it is best to start with the MR and MRs MS etc, since there are always a few who do prefer this..worse that can happen is they ask to be called by their first name

rmprn · Sep 4, 2003

I live in the South, where children are taught to address their elders my Mr. or Ms. "first name." They also use ma'am and sir. I was not raised here, so this took some time for me to get used to (the first name part). Still, I am not offended by it and I think it is respectful. There are quite a few youngsters who call me by just my first name, but you have to look at the parents, they raised them to think it's okay to do that.

When I am at work I use Mr. or Mrs. "last name" unless asked to do otherwise by the patient. I agree that in cases where the patient is confused, they usually respond more readily to their first names.

agent · Sep 4, 2003

Nothing is worse than hun, honey, or sweetie..

Rapheal · Sep 5, 2003

Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. X. I sometimes will address a female as Miss "Helen" or whatever their first name is if they request to be called by their first name. It is something I picked up from my youth as my southern mother would address females in this way.

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Sep 5, 2003

(Forgot to add)

Three patients we've gotten on our floor in the past couple of months are retired doctors. I asked them if they preferred Mr. or Dr. X. One said "Call me by my first name, or i'll turn around and look for my dad in this room when someone says Mr. X" LOL. The second one said "Mr. because i'm retired". Third one "I hope you don't mind calling me Dr., i still love to hear that."