Dying with Dignity? Can't Everyone Die with Dignity?
Recent news has focused on the news that a terminally ill patient ended her own life rather than let an aggressive brain tumor end it for her. Many praise this as a death with dignity but as nurses, let's make sure everyone dies with dignity by providing end of life care. Hospice and palliative care offer death with dignity every day for patients.
There is huge support for the recent case in the news about Brittany Maynard who recently took her own life rather than letting cancer take it from her in its own time. While many people believe that what Brittany did was a good and decent thing, a question remains: If the only way to die with dignity is to take your own life, what does it mean if you don't?
As a hospice nurse, I believe all of my patients die with dignity. They die with dignity because they are human persons, with the dignity and worth all human persons deserve. I certainly can speak for the fact that they suffer, that they decline, that they need help and support of others, but that does not exclude the fact that they have dignity. Nor does it diminish their honor that they choose to let nature take its course rather than letting a pharmaceutical cocktail end it for them.
It is my hope that no one believes that there is nothing to live for if you have a terminal disease. I hope all my patients know that. Life isn't always about being a perfect person, without sickness or debility. Steven Hawkings is an excellent example of this, although severely debilitated, and having a terminal illness, he continues to contribute greatly to knowledge, to science, and to many people who care deeply for him as a person.
Being sick or being terminal doesn't have to mean you have no quality of life. Not knowing what Brittany Maynard was told about her condition, I can only hope that she was given the choice to continue life with hospice or palliative care. Such care can give patients quality of life they did not know they could achieve with a terminal or severe illness.
Further, although a person may feel they don't want to live with sickness or debility, what they really may be feeling is that there is no hope, which is never true for anyone. They also may not understand or be informed that the things they fear may not happen at all. Often, health professionals opt to be totally honest with patients and let them know "worst case scenario" and while honesty is generally the best policy, sometimes too much information does a disservice to a vulnerable person. All of us know what happens when we look up diseases or illness on the internet: we learn things we never wanted to know or we learn things that aren't even close to accurate. Someone who has just learned they are terminally ill is someone who needs information but they also need support and at the end of life, one of the best supports is knowing that there is help no matter how dismal things seem.
With hospice or palliative care, many patients realize that their symptoms can be controlled and managed and they can go on living and enjoying each day. It is beyond doubt that most people given a terminal diagnosis fear not only death, but being a burden on others. With supportive care from hospice many of these concerns are ameliorated but a patient doesn't know that if no one tells them.
So before we start to think that the only way to die with dignity is to end a life, let's make sure we offer our patients every option for end of life care we can. Hospice and palliative care can make so much difference and give hope to those who may feel that they have no choices left. Let's make sure that every patient dies with the dignity of end of life care, given by health workers who believe that no one death is less dignified than others.
Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
The thing with end-of-life, is you have to take into consideration religions in the afterlife if people believe in that. As a Christian I say my life is not my own I belong to Christ. I understand everybody is not a Christian. I'm just throwing out my two cents. (I don't want to start a religious fight)
I think the devil may be responsible for feeding tubes and ventilators,ever consider that? If you are a believer don't you believe you are going to a far better place ,seems to me one should be eager to depart.
Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
Oh really? Someone should tell that to the numerous commentators out there applauding her decision as the right one because sticking around any longer would have been dumb, useless, burdensome to her family, expensive...... Yes I actually heard that on the radio yesterday and have heard similar sentiments repeatedly. We're careening toward the day when "assisted suicide" euthanasia will be presented as an obligation to the terminally ill and disabled. Look what that mother just did to her autistic daughter in England.
I see we are going to start careening towards the "slippery slope" argument...again. That is nothing but a smoke screen to hide the void where the facts and figures should be,IMHO.
Nothing unreasonable with considering the cost of maintaining a life-not getting into that right now.
You should thoroughly research the case you mentioned.The facts are too important to ignore.
Specializes in Gerontology, Med surg, Home Health.
I am a huge proponent of Hospice care for people who choose it. I'm not in favor of death panels or committees. What I AM in favor of is personal choice. Some choose life over any pain or infirmity. Some choose quality over quantity. I want to be able to choose for myself because I do not want to be fed by someone or lingering in pain. It is MY choice, not yours, not the doctors', not the government's...mine.
I'm not sure what you're pointing out here. Of course he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Unfortunately, he was robbed of that. And not by her. By disease.
Sorry . . .. I'll highlight the part I was talking about . .
....death with dignity advocate, Brittany Maynard,
Have you ever witnessed the decline of a person with a glioblastoma? It's not pretty. There is nothing dignified about it. Before the person dies they lose their "self," their identity, their awareness, everything that makes them the person that they are/were. A member of my family recently died of this terrible condition. The deceased person's family was traumatized by the suffering they witnessed at the end. The person had hospice services. It didn't make the end easier to bear for anyone involved.
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Yes, I have. More than once. The last one was a good friend who died a few months ago. She chose to die at home with hospice and it was with dignity. She was peaceful and pain free. Her dog by her side on the bed. Her husband holding her hand. It was quite moving actually. Not ugly. Not undignified.
This thread isn't about whether euthanasia or assisted suicide should happen - it is about the term "death with dignity" being used in such a way that it makes those who chose a different path "not dignified".
"Death with dignity advocate" . . . makes it sound like those who choose to die at home and their hospice team are not advocates of death with dignity.
That's all this thread is about. Copied and pasted the title:
[h=1]Dying with dignity? Can’t everyone die with dignity?[/h]
This was beautifully written. I completely agree with you!
My grandmother died at home, under hospice care. She was a woman with deep religious convictions, and it was her belief that it was her time, and she was ready for God to take her when He saw fit. When diagnosed with lung cancer, she decided not to pursue treatment, because she felt it would diminish the quality of the life she had remaining, and she wanted to be herself right up to the end. And boy, was she ever tough! She handled her illness with grace. We knew she was nearing the end when she chose to get in bed in the middle of the day, about six months after her diagnosis (which was longer than they expected her to live!) She was an active woman, who rarely ever sat down for long. All of us came from all over the country to be by her bedside.
We all took turns caring for her. I feel honored that my aunt and I were the last ones to bathe her. She was most certainly dignified. When she had to have a bowel movement, but was too weak to walk to the bathroom, we got her a commode. Her response, "I can't go in here! Then the room will smell like s*** for my visitors!" Which was funny, because that was the first time I'd ever heard her curse!
All told, there were about 20 family members, in one tiny house, for almost a week, and no one fought or spoke ill words to each other. Five days after she got into bed, on a Saturday morning, my cousin left the room for a cup of coffee, and that is when Grandma left us. Then we all gathered by her bedside and held a small ceremony with her priest. That was almost 20 years ago, and the whole family marvels at what an experience that was for us, and how it brought us all closer together. She chose to let her body do its thing and did not hasten the process in any way. By letting God, or nature, or whatever you call it take its course, her dignity was not diminished in the least. She died with as much comfort and love and support as we could possibly give her. While I would never push my beliefs on anyone, I will say that my grandmother was a fine example of true dignity in her last days. Furthermore, it allowed us, her family, to show our dignity by allowing us to care for her while at her most vulnerable.
I am a huge proponent of Hospice care for people who choose it. I'm not in favor of death panels or committees. What I AM in favor of is personal choice. Some choose life over any pain or infirmity. Some choose quality over quantity. I want to be able to choose for myself because I do not want to be fed by someone or lingering in pain. It is MY choice, not yours, not the doctors', not the government's...mine.
Please do not build strawmen where none exist. There are no death panels or committees making this choice for people and I don't believe one has been suggested. If I am wrong, please correct me.
As with anything else, all of us bring our past experiences/hangups/attitudes/prejudices with us when we hear a word or phrase being used. (Please note: I don't mean the term 'prejudices' to mean bigotry or racism, just that we all 'prejudge' things/situations sometimes even if we try not to.)
I submit that each of us is allowed to have our own definition of 'death with dignity'. If your definition is hospice care and symptom management until the disease takes its course, that's fine. If mine is choosing to throw a big party to say goodbye to everyone and then taking enough opioids or barbiturates so that I fall sleep and never wake up, that should be fine too. If someone else's is a combination of the two, or something entirely different, that should also be fine.
Nobody gets to define what 'death with dignity' means for me except me. And I would respect you enough to not dare try and define it for you.
As with anything else, all of us bring our past experiences/hangups/attitudes/prejudices with us when we hear a word or phrase being used. (Please note: I don't mean the term 'prejudices' to mean bigotry or racism, just that we all 'prejudge' things/situations sometimes even if we try not to.)
I submit that each of us is allowed to have our own definition of 'death with dignity'. If your definition is hospice care and symptom management until the disease takes its course, that's fine. If mine is choosing to throw a big party to say goodbye to everyone and then taking enough opioids or barbiturates so that I fall sleep and never wake up, that should be fine too. If someone else's is a combination of the two, or something entirely different, that should also be fine.
Nobody gets to define what 'death with dignity' means for me except me. And I would respect you enough to not dare try and define it for you.
Thanks Elvish - that's exactly the OP's point. No one should get to co-opt the phrase "death with dignity".
Thanks Elvish - that's exactly the OP's point. No one should get to co-opt the phrase "death with dignity".
Agreed....sort of. I think we should all get to co-opt it. It may not mean to you what it means to me, but we should both get to use it to mean what we need it to mean for us.
ktwlpn, LPN
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