Dry Drunk needs to get back on track

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Specializes in Extended Care, Med/Surg , Palliative,.

Today is my 5th anniversary of Quitting drinking. My 5th birthday as we call it up here. And I feel so lost.

When I quit drinking I was waitressing and continued to waitress for the first year of my sobriety. I still had to mix and serve drinks, but I did quit working the Bar and went to a chain type restaurant. I got pregnant when I was 9 months sober with a man from AA, he was a coke addict though, with exactly the same clean time as I. I went back to school when I finished my maternity leave, I first became a Care aide, then I went on to LPN, I just graduated in March. We are still together. Our daughter is 3 1/2 yrs. I am so grateful to AA for giving me an amazing career and wonderful daughter!

My daughter's father has been back to treatment twice since our daughter was born. His latest relapse has been a doozy! He owns his own business which I have helped him start up, and now he is running it into the ground. It has potential to do very very well, and was doing very well. He is on the wait list to go back to treatment. But he keeps purposely missing his mandatory phone in dates to stay on the list so he gets bumped back. He wants to fit in just a few more Jobs...and a few more destructive crack binges. I should have left him long ago, but when he is clean he is such a great dad, hubby and hard worker. I keep hoping we can have the good life I have experienced with him during clean times. (I know this reeks of co-dependence!) Life is such hell right now, and making it worse is the fact that while in nursing school I completely got out of the habit of going to meetings.

For the first couple years of my sobriety I was at a meeting at least once a day, then at least a few a week, now it has been since February since my last meeting!!! I really really loved going, and I will probably go tomorrow, and show up with a birthday cake to give to my home group to thank them ( our custom here).

I guess I posted this long winded cry for help and cry for attention because I would like people to share their stories of when they stopped going to meetings. I know I am in dangerous territory!!! I am already doing addictive behaviors, like compulsive shopping.:scrying:

Even if there is no story, I would just like to hear a happy birthday from one person in the wonderful fellowship of AA.

I also find that if I physically write down that I will do something...I do it. This will help me get back to meetings I'm sure! So thank-you for indulging me by reading this.

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

I quit going to meetings, stayed sober for a long time. Several years in fact. But temptation rolled around one day and I started to drink again. I hung around people who drank, and I kept my sobriety to myself and on day I just picked up and it took about two years to find sobriety again,

I've since gone back to meetings. I don't need to go to a lot of meetings, but it's important that I go at least once a week to remind myself of who I am.

You might consider Narc-Anon and/or AlAnon as well.

Good luck to you. My ex was an recovering alcoholic that was 14 years sober and started drinking again. He was one of those wonderful guys when sober, but just couldn't get it, and I had to make the tough decision to divorce. It hurt in every way to see this good man go downhill, but I married a sober guy and I needed a sober guy. It also hurt me financially, but my sobriety and peace of mind are the most important.

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05.gifCONGRATS:yeah:
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Specializes in ER, LTC, MDS, Hospice.

Happy 5th Birthday, Lori!!!!

BC is so beautiful!!!! I was there a little over 3 years ago. I was suppose to be moving out there to Chilliwack. Had been there a few times before and been to a few meetings out there then. But 3 years ago when I was there, I found out the man I was going to be with was cheating on me. So back to Ohio I came. I went to a few meetings but was slowing down my attendance. I think it was 2006 when I quit meetings all together. Now here I am with 4 months clean and are facing many obstacles. Now when people tell me to keep going to meetings, I listen. My sponsor has 12 years clean and she goes to at least 3 meetings a week. "I want to be just like her when I grow up..." :chuckle

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I believe the old saying that one needs to go to meetings to hear what happens to people who don't go to meetings. Works for me.

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Congratulations!

Now go find a meeting and celebrate.

:)

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

CONGRATULATIONS on five years' sobriety!!

I know what you mean about the "dry drunk" phenomenon; I've been through several memorable episodes when the only thing I DIDN'T do was actually take a drink. But I did do the same stinkin' thinkin', gave in to the same bad attitudes, and felt sorry for myself---none of which are compatible with the sober life. So I can definitely relate to what you are feeling.

One thing I noticed in your post that struck me right off the bat was your plaintive tone when you asked for somebody to congratulate you on your "birthday". Now, I've got sixteen years, nine months, and fourteen days of sobriety under my belt, and what I've learned is this: After a few years, nobody really notices your sobriety anymore. They've known you to be that way for a long time, they expect you to stay that way, and they don't give much thought to the anniversaries that you and I and every other recovering alcoholic/addict work so hard to reach.

That's not anyone's fault; life goes on. And I know that the longer I stay sober, the harder it gets for my family and friends to even REMEMBER that I was ever an out-of-control drunk. In fact, 95% of the people in my life today have never seen me take a drink. So I turn to my fellow recovering alcoholics for accolades when I celebrate my own sobriety birthday each Jan. 1. You would be wise to do the same, for NOBODY knows this road better than those who have traveled it, and only we know how very much it means to you to be able to celebrate your victory!

So don't let the rest of the world get you down, and remember HALT!!!---never let yourself get too Hungry, too Angry, too Lonely, or too Tired.

:heartbeat

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5 years is fantsastic and you are very blessed. I have heard alot of slogans that were never in the Big Book of AA. Meeting makers make it!! was never in the first or any other edition of the Big Book of AA. Meetings are an important part of recovery because they nurture fellowship and reinforce the message of recovery. They are more important for the newcomer.Anyone who has some sobriety has a responsibility to attend to assist the newcomer in recieving the correct message of recovery.I think that ones recovery is based entirely on their relationship with their higher power and the thoroughness in which they worked the 12steps.Are you engaging in hurtful, dishonest and manipulative behaviors? I would be more concerned that if I did my 11th step prayer and found that I could answer yes to one or more of those charecter defects on a regular basis.Are you giving thanks for everyday and everyone in your life. Are you talking to someone in recovery on a regular basis? Reading some AA lit? Going to meetings when you can? Or are you being overly critcal of yourself?

I bet your doing better than you think you are?

Meetings are only a part of you recovery?

Remember where you came from:eek:

Give thanks and inspire others with the miracle that you are!:bow:

TRUDGE THE ROAD TO HAPPY DESTINY:D

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Specializes in Extended Care, Med/Surg , Palliative,.

Wow, thanks for all the great advice, support, wisdom, and stories. I am doing a pretty crazy 6 day in a row schedule since my original post, but I told someone I work with how I was feeling, (she is also in the fellowship of AA) and she goes regularly, and she and I are hoping to go to the ladies meeting on Thursday, if not then I will hit one on my own.

I really appreciate the comment about how as the years go by people around us tend to forget what a mess we were....I felt like a bit of a tool soliciting a happy birthday wish from you wonderful people, but that how it has been. My whole family forgot this time, my mom used to drive up from Victoria for it (3.5 hrs away) I am starting to forget what a freaky mess I was...which is my biggest red flag...I need to go to a meeting and see a very hurting newcomer!

Just reading some of the slogans, and things you say regarding AA has felt so good.

My daughter's father has only 4 days until he goes away to treatment, but I am so scared he is going to mess up and not be able to go. His insanity is really getting to me! I did try Alanon a few years ago, and although it was nice, I was warned right off the bat by both groups (AA and Alanon) that I should keep my alcoholic status a secret in their meetings, I could be construed as the enemy. I went to about 5 meetings but could never shake the feelings that I was lying, or spying, or fake. I just felt weird all around.

I will post again when I can say...I went, it was great, I love everyone!

Love to you all, thank-you so very very much!!!!!!!!!!!!:redbeathe:redbeathe:heartbeat:redpinkhe:redbeathe:loveya:

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We're here, Lori.

I can't imagine maintaining in your situation. Meetings are a huge help.

I rarely go to meetings and have, frankly, lost track of how much time I have. Eight years? But I can tell you that when I am in your state I do, and it keeps it green. We drunks have built-in forgetters.

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Specializes in ER, LTC, MDS, Hospice.

I don't know how they work it there, but here we are encouraged to get a home group. The home group has each members sobriety dates and when that date rolls around, acknowledges it and gives a coin to the person with an anniversary. So it is never forgotten by the home group and other AA members there. But when I was in treatment, I asked one of the nurses there how much time she had and she said, "I have TODAY.....just like you!" WOW......what a concept!!!! I will never forget it!

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Specializes in Extended Care, Med/Surg , Palliative,.
I don't know how they work it there, but here we are encouraged to get a home group. The home group has each members sobriety dates and when that date rolls around, acknowledges it and gives a coin to the person with an anniversary. So it is never forgotten by the home group and other AA members there.

We have the same concept up here...but one must attend their home group at least once in a while to receive the lovely medallion. My home group is the lunch meeting, at the Alano club. Does the Alano club exist in the USA? I know there are several around BC. Its a wonderful social club, some have a little restaurant with very well priced home cooking, it is open to everyone, but intended for people in ANY 12 step program. They house a lot of the meetings in our town, NA, OA, AA, Alanon, GA.

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