Dream job?

BecomingNursey · May 15, 2015

Hi! I completely understand what you are going through. Straight out of nursing school I landed my dream job! Who gets to work in the ER right out of nursing school??? Me!!! I was so excited!

So after my 6 weeks of orientation with an amazing preceptor, I was on my own. I was taking 4 patients in a busy ER and trying to just not sink. Every day I was so tired and feeling like I wasn't making any difference at all. For the first 6 months of my nursing career I came home to my husband so tired and exhausted that I just wanted to go straight to bed and on my days off all I wanted to do was sleep and stay on the couch/watch TV. I was physically, emotionally and everything exhausted.

My husband just didn't understand. He has no idea the pressure we are under and the stress we deal with as nurses. We are responsible for people's lives!!! Literally. My decision any day at any time at work could kill a patient if I don't make the right choice. I would come home from a rough 12 hour shift and just cry all the way home.

Then I talked with a nurse in my ED who told me this was completely and totally normal. I am a new nurse and still trying to get my routine down and it's totally normal to feel overwhelmed. I was worrying over every little thing. I was worrying about getting a nasty gram when I came into work after a rough weekend. Or forgetting to recheck a blood pressure before a patient went upstairs to the point where I was stressing myself out at home just constantly obsessing over things I could have forgotten at work. I couldn't think of anything else. I was having anxiety/panic attacks because I was so stressed out! But after I talked with that nurse and she told me that it was normal I felt like I could breathe again.

You're going to feel absolutely overwhelmed and helpless for your first little while as a nurse. I promise you it will get better! Just give yourself a break. As nurses, we are already naturally over achievers lol. We want to do everything perfectly and never forget anything. That just isn't feasible. We are nurses, yes. But we are also human. We are going to make mistakes and forget things sometimes. Just breathe and take it one patient at a time. You can do it! You've already done the hardest thing you will ever do in your life. You graduated nursing school. Trust me. You will make it through this rough patch and get to the other side and think; "I'm so glad I kept pushing myself and didn't quit."

So with all that being said. Give yourself a break. Give yourself some time. Maybe take some time off work if you can and just take a breather. Go out with some friends and do something you used to enjoy doing before your life became absorbed in nursing. Get out and do something completely and totally unrelated to nursing. Period. You need some time for you! Feel free to PM me anytime you need to vent. I'm here to talk anytime :) Good luck!

I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it.

Author: Art Williams

Lev, MSN, RN, NP · May 15, 2015

Hi all,
I REALLY would like some input, advice, tips, anything to get me out of this funk. I accepted my "dream job" at a large teaching hospital before I even graduated nursing school. I was so proud to announce this and honestly my graduation day was the best day of my life. All this talk about how we can do anything, put our new creative minds into the nursing profession, I felt on top of the world.
Im about 2 1/2 months into my orientation, and I've had way more bad days than good. I feel like im drowning every single day, I don't even feel like I'm a nurse. Not one day so far did I feel like I've taught a patient something valuable, helped them heal, made a difference. I feel like I'm just way too busy and have too many interruptions to even know or comprehend what I'm doing. I'm just going through the motions trying to get tasks done, and trying not to royally screw something up. Nursing is not what I envisioned, I knew this was going to be hard but I'm miserable. I cry at least 3 days a week, am not myself.. I'm typically a very social person, friendly, can get along with anyone. At work I feel so on edge and nervous that I can't even show my co-workers my true personality...I feel like the odd loner middle school kid that no one even knows is there. My schedule is rotating days/nights..and I feel sick all of the time, my body is so tired. I've tried meeting and going out with people I've met at work but with the schedules we have its almost impossible to have a social life, I'd rather just sit in my bed and sleep on my days off. Its just embarrassing when people ask me "OMG do you love your job, how is it?" and I lie through my teeth that I love it. I just feel like I'm beginning to hate the nursing profession and its way too early for that!
Sorry, I needed to vent, since I really have no one else to talk to about this or understands what this profession is like. Anyone go through something similar? Have any advice on how to stay positive?

Your ivory tower has been completely totaled by a bulldozer and only the foundation is left.

Like the visual? :cool:

You are starting from ground zero and it's a tough spot to be in. What you need is time. Nursing is tough work and it takes a year or longer for the good to bad days ratio to start balancing out. What setting are you in? Nursing is a frustrating job because we know that if we could just focus on doing our jobs and not everyone else's we would be more effective caregivers. I think you are a little too hard on yourself. If your patient was alive at the end of your shift and one day closer to recovery, you did well.

A lot of new grads have issues with being too task oriented. This is natural, since there are a whole lot of things that are new to learn. Once you become familiar with all the tasks it will be easier to focus on the bigger picture and think critically, as they say. Even as you are learning new skills, you need to try to get past the idea that there is a list of things to do that need to be done by x hour. Prioritizing care is essential. If your patient is crashing, that is your priority. Not your other four patients who need meds or want to use the bathroom. Teamwork is also essential in nursing. You must delegate to your CNAs or you won't survive. If you have a sick patient, call your charge nurse for help and don't be afraid to call a rapid response (if on the floor). Unfortunately, hospitals administrators feel that nurses should be secretaries. The interruptions are very difficult to deal with and that coupled with the excessive amount of documentation required by my previous workplace are some reasons I left floor nursing for the ED. Just remember to focus on your patients and their needs at that present moment. Trying to be present in the moment helps me not feel overwhelmed when things are getting out of control.

Rotating shifts. Hate them. A slow way to kill someone. It's a tough tough schedule. How often do you rotate and for how long? Sleep is important. As is socialization on your days off. Try to sleep a little more and socialize a little less outside the home and see how that works for you. Getting more sleep can do wonders for your general mental and physiological health. As much as you want to socialize, this may not be the right time for it. Work now and play later? I am not a super social person, so this may not be good advice for you. I will tell you that as a general rule, don't focus on whether your coworkers like you or not. Other will agree. If we have good teamwork, that's enough for me. You're there to work, not socialize. Really try to focus less on getting to know your coworkers and more on doing your job.

When people ask about the job...say something like "I'm learning a ton!" or "Challenging!" Say it with a smile and leave the conversation at that.

I hoped this helped somewhat.

Edit: Something I wrote up last summer

https://allnurses.com/general-nursing-discussion/entering-my-18th-939717.html

ixchel · May 15, 2015

OP, I'm at the end of my first year. I also landed my dream job and approached it with a massive amount of enthusiasm. By the end of the first month, I was overwhelmed with buyer's remorse. By the end of my second month, I was on a new antidepressant. It's been quite a journey.

What I can tell you is your love of it will slowly return. Maybe not as much as you hope, but it will. One day soon there will be a small victory. You'll feel the triumph of it. And then you'll have more small victories. Hold on to these. They will fuel you to keep going.

This truly is still your dream job, it's just so much harder than you expected. (((Hugs))) If you need someone to "talk" to, feel free to PM anytime.

INN_777, BSN, RN · May 16, 2015

Hey queen! Another new grad here - 3 weeks off orientation at a busy teaching hospital in my preferred specialty, Oncology. Tough patients, tough families, super stressful job.

Experiencing everything you are. I have come to terms with the fact that this is how it is going to be for the first year. This is the price to pay to get to the point where you can become therapeutic, healing, add value, make a difference. Although I want to believe we are adding value, we just don't think we are:)

Until then - survival, one shift at a time.

My wonderful nurse educator and assistant manager told me to try to tally what went well rather than focusing on what didnt. Seems like a obvious blah advice and seems like what I don't feel good about will easily overshadow the little victories. But surprisingly it can add up and help you show up again and again.

Heck, I even had a couple deeper therapeutic moments with patients. And I hang on to them.

My prayer before each shift at this point in my career is to not harm anyone in my newness and stress and to do my best. That's all we can do.

Hang in. Right there with you! They say there is light at the end of the one year tunnel:)

iPink, BSN, RN · May 16, 2015

What you are experiencing is called being a new grad. Moving from student to primary nurse is rough in the beginning. I remember the pit in my stomach before going into work, the tears I cried while heading into work, and the anxiety I was feeling after getting report because it revealed what kind of crazy day I was going to have. But, I survived my year because I had a great support system at work. I worked critical care and within that year I experienced a death of a patient, but I was also instrumental in saving patients lives in code situations.

Things will get better the more you hang in there. You have to go through the process to gain knowledge, increase your confidence, and better your clinical skills. Sending hugs...

Sent via iPink's phone using allnurses

BlueDawnRN, BSN · May 16, 2015

When people ask about the job...say something like "I'm learning a ton!" or "Challenging!" Say it with a smile and leave the conversation at that.

Yes, when people ask me how my new job is, I say, "It's very challenging, but I'm grateful for the job" or something to that effect.

queenD · May 20, 2015

Thank you all so much for the advice. I really needed to hear some of those things to keep my head up and realize it will get better. I'm just taking it shift by shift at this point, almost done with orientation so will have many more challenges to face when I'm officially on my own but I'm trying to not freak out about that yet. I think another hard part is its very hard to express these feelings to my non nursing friends and family. But you guys get it so thank you!

calivianya, BSN, RN · May 20, 2015

If you're not a person who can sleep at the drop of a hat, rotating shifts will kill you. I did it once (outside of healthcare) and it totally destroyed my life. I was 3 days on 1500-2300, 2 days on 2300-0700, and going to school full time from 0800-1200 M-F. I'm probably lucky I'm not dead and didn't kill anybody else with all the times I ran off the road. I attribute being alive to liking to drive with my right hand only, so when that hand falls, it drags the wheel right and I just run off the road instead of into oncoming traffic. In fact, I don't remember much of anything about that semester because it was all in a fog. I was probably sleeping less than 30 hours a week, and I was getting sick all of the time. it was awful. I have always been a straight A student and I earned 2 D- and 1 F that semester, so I can't even say my horrible experience was worth it because I had to retake every class.

I can't imagine have to deal with that on top of being a new grad nurse. I think you really ought to look at seeing if you can switch out of rotating shifts. For one, if you work with the same shift all the time, you will cultivate your relationships with your coworkers quicker than if you work with day people one week and night people the next, and having at least a cordial working relationship with the other nurses on the floor can be crucial when the feces hit the fan. Also, days and nights have a different rhythm and you're having to learn both - it would be simpler to get your bearings if you were straight days or straight nights, IMO. Not to mention - you can actually have a circadian rhythm that works and you won't feel so horrible if you can sleep the same time of day every day. That benefit cannot be overstated.

NurseB2014 · May 28, 2015

I havent been back on this forum in a while (Since I had first started my first year really). Now I'm coming up on the end of my first year in July!!! I cant believe I stuck it out a year. So Im sure other people have said the same, but a year ago, I was in the exact same boat. But it has gotten a little better! I still dread going to work most days (Which is why now Im looking for something else, to try to find my niche) but I don't cry anymore. I dont feel like Im going to throw up, I just have a huge sense of dread. Once I get there and start working, I feel a little better. Then, at some point in the shift, I start watching the clock to go back home LOL. So I feel like what Im doing now isnt for me, but I do feel like there is something is nursing that is, I just have to find it. Im scared Ill pick something else and feel the same way, but I toughed this out a year and feel like I can do it again. So anyway, I just wanted to say that I felt hopeless at first. I felt like I had made a huge mistake going into nursing, and actually looked into going back to school for something entirely different but didnt feel like it would be fair to make my family suffer financially again the way they did when I was in nursing school. So I toughed it out, and used the money I made to have some fun when I could. We've booked our very FIRST family vacation for this summer. We took trips to amusement parks and shopping. Christmas for my kids was awesome. We are working on crawling out from under the debt we got in when I was in school. So while life still isnt perfect, and Im not deriving a lot of satisfaction from my job, Im trying to learn how to find satisfaction in other areas. Good luck! Hope it gets better for you too!