queenD

Thank you all so much for the advice. I really needed to hear some of those things to keep my head up and realize it will get better. I'm just taking it shift by shift at this point, almost done with orientation so will have many more challenges to face when I'm officially on my own but I'm trying to not freak out about that yet. I think another hard part is its very hard to express these feelings to my non nursing friends and family. But you guys get it so thank you!

Hi all, I REALLY would like some input, advice, tips, anything to get me out of this funk. I accepted my "dream job" at a large teaching hospital before I even graduated nursing school. I was so proud to announce this and honestly my graduation day was the best day of my life. All this talk about how we can do anything, put our new creative minds into the nursing profession, I felt on top of the world. Im about 2 1/2 months into my orientation, and I've had way more bad days than good. I feel like im drowning every single day, I don't even feel like I'm a nurse. Not one day so far did I feel like I've taught a patient something valuable, helped them heal, made a difference. I feel like I'm just way too busy and have too many interuptions to even know or comprehend what I'm doing. I'm just going through the motions trying to get tasks done, and trying not to royally screw something up. Nursing is not what I envisioned, I knew this was going to be hard but I'm miserable. I cry at least 3 days a week, am not myself.. I'm typically a very social person, friendly, can get along with anyone. At work I feel so on edge and nervous that I can't even show my co-workers my true personality...I feel like the odd loner middle school kid that no one even knows is there. My schedule is rotating days/nights..and I feel sick all of the time, my body is so tired. I've tried meeting and going out with people I've met at work but with the schedules we have its almost impossible to have a social life, I'd rather just sit in my bed and sleep on my days off. Its just embarrassing when people ask me "OMG do you love your job, how is it?" and I lie through my teeth that I love it. I just feel like I'm beginning to hate the nursing profession and its way too early for that! Sorry, I needed to vent, since I really have no one else to talk to about this or understands what this profession is like. Anyone go through something similar? Have any advice on how to stay positive?