Dream job...no longer my dream job??

[HopefulRN2010]

I have been a nurse for a just under 2 years. After graduation I started out in the in adult world, only because that was where I could get a job. But my goal had always been pediatrics, NICU to be exact. As soon as my year was up with the adult hospital I was hired at the top children's hospital in my area.

It was a dream come true. However, there weren't any NICU positions available but PICU was hiring. So I said I'll take it! (Well after the interview process and all). But here I am about 6 months into and I just don't love it. I don't really know how to put it into other words...it just doesn't to "fit" me. So now I'm sitting here wondering is it because it's still not my dream job (NICU) or will I ever be happy in a nursing job?

This post is part vent and part curious if anyone else has felt this way? And if so, did you ever find your "dream" job?

[Altra, BSN, RN]

"Dream" jobs are the rare exception, not the rule, in any field. But the vast majority of people make the most of the job they have ... or come to grips with the fact that for many, a job is just one aspect of a productive, fulfilled life.

You can certainly continue to pursue a NICU position, and you have the opportunity now to try to network with nurses who work in that department in your hospital, read literature, read the NICU forum here at AN, etc. ... to try to make sure this is really what you want. And a considerable amount of what you're doing now in PICU will be transferable to NICU, so you're NOT just marking time.

[Flare, ASN, BSN]

Have you contacted your HR dept to inform them of your goals? Most hospitals are happy to help you work towards working where you want to work. That doesn't mean it will happen overnight, but it can put your name on a list for consideration should a position open up.

[llg, PhD, RN]

I strongly agree with Altra. It might be that a lot of what you are feeling (or not feeling) is just part of the normal process of growing up and realizing that for most people, a job is just that -- a job. It is work that you do for money. It's not going to be like a fairy tale ending where you walk through the gates and angels sing and it's all meadows and butterflies.

Most people have to really invest a lot of time and effort into their work before they feel "at home" there. Getting a new job --even if it's a great one -- is always an adjustment. There is always a period of transition that is stressful as you learn new people, new routines, new knowledge, etc. That drains the energy out of you and eventually you feel "empty" and need to refuel before you can feel "like yourself" again. You might want to read articles on "transition shock" to learn more about that transition process.

Some people never find a job that fulfills all their dreams. But they can still lead happy, productive lives if they put it all into the proper perspective. If your job is a good one, I would recommend learning to appreciate where you are rather than fantasize about some dream world that might not even exist. Keep your eyes open for an opportunity to transfer to the NICU if you find that you really prefer the smallest PICU patients -- but don't waste your life longing for a fantasy.

[Good Morning, Gil]

Hello Hopeful,

I was not unlike yourself, worked in a job I did not like at first just to pay the bills (although I kept an open mind and was excited to start there when I did and ended up meeting great people, and got some good experience), and then got my "dream" job, as you put it, in the ICU a year later. I didn't actually know if I would like it for sure as my only experience in ICU was nursing school clinical. However, I really, really enjoy it and know this is where I belong. Is it always a dream? Of course not...there's nights where I leave very thankful that I have a few nights off. (However, I always keep it in the back of my mind that regardless of type of patient, they all need good nursing care, and that is fulfilling). I think what frustrates me the most about my job are the patients that are not true ICU patients. I enjoy taking care of the sickest of the sick, very unstable patients that require quick thinking/acting, etc (did not know this about myself until I started working). However, some of the patients I end up caring for or that end up in our unit are just: DKA, but alert and oriented, pretty cut and dry, or someone trying to crawl out of their bed because they're withdrawing from: name substance here or polysubstance abuse lol. I'm pretty certain that no ICU nurse looks forward to the patient that's attempting to crawl out of bed all of the time or blood sugar checks every 20 minutes. No ICU nurse wants to take care of floor patients all of the time (however, I do enjoy it sometimes b/c it's nice to interact with patients sometimes, too, educate them, etc). We want to take care of very sick patients, but that's the name of the game. Those patients need good care, as well. I use the walkie talkie opportunity to do some extra education; maybe I can educate the DKA patient on importance of blood sugar checks at home. Who knows if it makes any difference, but at least I had the opportunity to try because I am a nurse, making real difference in patients' lives (sometimes nurses lose sight of that). My point is: no job is perfect. I love my job, and I enjoy taking care of all patients because I know I am providing quality care and making them more comfortable. Is it perhaps just a perspective issue? That no job is going to be 100% perfect? But, overall, you're satisfied with your job?

So, I guess the question you need to ask yourself is: Do you just not enjoy the patient population as you expected to (picu is just not for you) OR are there just little things that get to you about the job, and you're placing too much weight on them? Or is it a unit culture issue? Another question: you said NICU was your dream: well PICU is not that much different from NICU as far as nursing areas are concerned. (I recognize it is different, just not as different as, say, outpatient from NICU; you can get a good idea whether or not you enjoy it). Do you enjoy taking care of little 4 month old sick babies? If not, you may want to re-think NICU. If this is the only age you enjoy, then NICU probably is the way to go. Best of luck to you! You haven't been a nurse that long; don't give up even if you end up not liking PICU. There's an area that suits every nurse, even if it's something more atypical, like public health or case management.

[NurseLoveJoy88, ASN, RN]

Well I feel the opposite. My dream job has always been OB or NICU. I haven't had been hired into this specialty yet. Right now I'm in LTC and I have to say that sometimes I feel this is where I belong. No it is not the most glamorous job and many people say I'm too young to work in such a "drag" environment. Truth is, I adore these residents and if and when I get offered my "dream" job it will be a tough decision I'll have to make.

[Double-Helix, BSN, RN]

I think you need to determine why you aren't enjoying this job? Have you set up in your mind that nothing but the NICU will be fulfilling work for you? Or is there something specific about the job that you aren't enjoying?

The reason I ask is because unless you know why you aren't happy, there is no guarantee that you will be happy in the NICU. You may have idealized the NICU job to the point where nothing else can meet all of your expectations. It's very possible that if you do get a NICU job it still won't live up to your ideals. Every job has issues. I'd hate for you to get a NICU job thinking it's going to be perfect and then be disappointed and end up miserable again.

So think about why you are unhappy, and why you think the NICU will make you happy. Decide what you think makes your dream job. Maybe work on focusing on the positive parts of your current job, rather than getting caught up in the fact that it's not the NICU.

[HopefulRN2010]

Thanks for all the great advice!

Now that I have woke up from my "nap" before heading back to work. I think I realize this is more of a blog type entry. Yes I love and appreciate all of your comments. But I do think I'm still struggling with the newness off the PICU. And that has a lot to do with my day to day feelings regarding my current job.

I don't think I'm naive enough to think once I get to the NICU everything will be perfect and I'll love my job everyday kind of thing. And I do enjoy the PICU, but I do find myself being very indecisive on what the next step should be. But again thanks for all the comments, as I wake up more I might think of a better way to share my feelings! The fog of just waking up isn't helping right now

[HopefulRN2010]

You may have idealized the NICU job to the point where nothing else can meet all of your expectations. It's very possible that if you do get a NICU job it still won't live up to your ideals. Every job has issues. I'd hate for you to get a NICU job thinking it's going to be perfect and then be disappointed and end up miserable again.

This is something I'm afraid of! I'm afraid that I started in adults, didn't hate it but I didn't love it either. Got hired into PICU...not loving it not hating it. I'm concerned that this just might be me. But you have a very good point that I may have idealized the NICU, because NICU is the reason I went to nursing school. It is what I have always dreamed of, and I don't I can really change that. But it is a real fear of mine to get there and then it be just like my previous jobs. But I won't know that until I actually work there...

[babyNP., APRN]

I don't know if you'll like NICU...

But I'll tell you that as a NICU nurse who loves it, occasionally we float to PICU. I don't think there is a single NICU nurse on my unit who likes it--I really, really despise going over there. I am, of course cheerful and ask appropriate questions to provide safe patient care, but when I have a 2 year old g-tubed, trach vent-dependent kid with MRSA and secretions pouring down his nose every five minutes while he moves around the bed whipping his head around, no way. If I had to do that every day I would probably consider quitting nursing if I couldn't get some other role and my family didn't need my income.

[Double-Helix, BSN, RN]

I don't know if you'll like NICU...

But I'll tell you that as a NICU nurse who loves it, occasionally we float to PICU. I don't think there is a single NICU nurse on my unit who likes it--I really, really despise going over there. I am, of course cheerful and ask appropriate questions to provide safe patient care, but when I have a 2 year old g-tubed, trach vent-dependent kid with MRSA and secretions pouring down his nose every five minutes while he moves around the bed whipping his head around, no way. If I had to do that every day I would probably consider quitting nursing if I couldn't get some other role and my family didn't need my income.

Lol! It's very funny because we float to NICU and we don't like it too much up there either! It's all about perspective. We LOVE our vented/trached kiddos but the micro-preemies with umbilical lines, NEC, and very anxious/ up tight parents... not so much.

[HopefulRN2010]

I don't know if you'll like NICU...

But I'll tell you that as a NICU nurse who loves it, occasionally we float to PICU. I don't think there is a single NICU nurse on my unit who likes it--I really, really despise going over there. I am, of course cheerful and ask appropriate questions to provide safe patient care, but when I have a 2 year old g-tubed, trach vent-dependent kid with MRSA and secretions pouring down his nose every five minutes while he moves around the bed whipping his head around, no way. If I had to do that every day I would probably consider quitting nursing if I couldn't get some other role and my family didn't need my income.

Thank you so much for posting this! I can definitely relate!