Doubting myself because I want to be a nurse so I can "give back"

[Nurse Beth, MSN]

Dear Doubting Yourself,

When you ask nurses why they decided to become a nurse, you hear some reasons more than once. One of them is the person who was ill and for whom the experience was a pivotal moment in their life.

You are a grateful person who wants to pay it forward and help others. I can't think of a better reason for being a nurse than wanting to help your fellow human being with skill and compassion. Meet their needs. Help them as you were helped.

You tend to doubt yourself, so give heed to your family and friends' counsel.

Sometimes in life you look back and only then do you see the open doors that guided your life path. You are in your last semester of pre-reqs. You have a good shot of being accepted. If you pass the TEAS and are accepted...I would call that a clear series of open doors.

You ask if you are doing it for the right reasons. Absolutely. You ask if wanting to help others is reason enough to pursue nursing. It may be the best reason there is.

[JayHanig]

Frankly, I would run screaming in the other direction. I was severely injured in a plane crash back in the late 80's and felt the same urge to give back. My experience with broken bones naturally led me to orthopedics. What you need to understand is that nursing has changed over the years, and not for the better.

Whatever altruistic urges I may have had in the beginning were beaten out of me by management. If you enjoy working short staffed, being evaluated by people incapable of doing your work, and constant changes that impede your ability to provide safe and timely care, then nursing is for you. Call me burned out: I truly am. I retired at the age of 55 after 18 years working at the bedside supposedly doing what nursing was supposed to be, every minute of that in a hospital setting. The thoughts of ever returning to that just make me nauseous.

I feel sorry for the current generation of nurses still in the fire. I have nothing but contempt for most middle and upper management, both in nursing and in hospital administration. There was a time when I had a nursing career. By the time I got out it no longer was; it was just a job and a crappy one at that. The last five years I was working I switched from full time to weekender, just to minimize the time I had to be there. I made it a point never to be available during the week for extra shifts... even the double time they occasionally had to pay when they'd run off the good help wasn't enough to get me to work extra.

My point is: be very careful what you wish for. You might get it. And if a career in nursing isn't a blatant example of bait and switch, I don't know what is.

[honeyforasalteyfish]

Thank you. I do need an attitude adjustment. I suppose I am what would be called "a special snowflake." You know what though I am a living special snowflake because a nurse practitioner caught my lung abscess before it was to late. Everything is happening so fast in my life. It's like a hurricane, and I love every minute of it. I peer mentor I tutor, I take BNA course, I take my final prereq, then I take the TEAS examination.

My confidence has been rocked by my failures, and I don't know why. Because of what I have overcome personally in the last year is far more than I ever thought myself capable of. I never thought I stood a chance because of my illnesses. I know this is what I want. Why because I want no one to think they cannot do something at a young age because of illness. Will I get in?

Who really knows all I can do is my best. My crohn's is under control, my depression is under control, my lung abscess is gone. Boom this fall I know if I am in, or not if I have any future in nursing on any level. It's all happening so fast. I have like no time to catch my breath, and its only going to get more intense. You know what though so far I love every minute of it. Do I need an attitude adjustment I suppose I do, but sitting there listening to a 45 year vet RN I couldn't help but smile at her awesomeness. That is the kind of person I want to be period.

There is only one way I am going to get there. Who knows I may fail miserably, or I may succeed beyond my wildest dreams. I have no idea, but I am forever grateful for the opportunity presented to me, and I don't intend to let it go to waste. I am far from perfect, and far from the best candidate. You know what I do have the though. Genuine empathy I don't have to fake it. I don't have to fake my enthusiasm for life any more since I started down this path. I don't have to fake loving my classes, or listening to a grizzled RN vet talk about teaching me the skills I need to become a CNA. I am flat broke, and I have no guarantee of success. You know what though I love every minute.

[Jensmom7, BSN, RN]

I need a drink.

Hey, it's 5pm somewhere.

I say let OP do whatever his little heart desires. Nothing any "grizzled RN vet" tries to tell him about the world of Nursing beyond his rose colored glasses is going to make any kind of impression.

For someone who supposedly admires, may, reveres Nurses as he claims, he sure doesn't want to listen to those who actually walk the walk and talk the talk.

If nothing else, once he gets into a Nursing program, we'll have free entertainment from his future posts as he bemoans the fact that being an RN isn't really all sunshine and unicorns, and he actually may have bad days at work.

[Julie Reyes, DNP, RN]

Wow. While some people have responded in a less than tactful way (more like a punch in the face), I slightly understand some of their responses. Slightly.

I don't think it really matters what calls a person into nursing. Be it a life changing experience to following in their parent's footsteps to wanting to do it to prove they can and shove it in their ex husband's face that you smarter than he is (me). I can't think of a degree where people have NOT got some reason or another for pursing a particular field. I can't fathom why it should matter WHY any one pursues whatever degree they are going for.

If someone thinks they want to give it a go, then go for it 100%. Give it all you got. There are hundreds of different fields within nursing, and if one isn't your cup of tea (wiping butts), then go into a different field (informatics, administration, teaching, etc, etc, etc). Besides, the difference between wiping adult butts versus baby butts may be all the change in fields one needs to find sanctification and happiness in a career...)

There are hundreds of avenues within nursing. If anyone is miserable in nursing, all they have to do is go down a different path. You will have the degree already - and that will put you ahead of the game and will give you options.

[babilidose]

If you think it's what you want to do, go for it. But you had better find some confidence and a backbone, because I can assure you that behind the scenes, it was the confidence and knowledge of that NP. I get that you've had failures, everyone has. But don't let that stop you. But recognize that as a patient, your view of nursing is very different. It's not all sunshine and roses. You'll rarely get thanked. You'll be kicked, slapped, cursed at, yelled and and so much more. So if nursing is for you, have a come to Jesus meeting with yourself and find that confidence.

[honeyforasalteyfish]

Yes my BNA instructor was very keen to impress upon all of us the legality issues, the hard work, and the life and death situations I will have to deal with it if I meet with any level of success. She was very enthusiastic about having us, but said she would not be easy on us. It actually excited me.

As far as being grateful for some one doing their job? Why wouldn't I be to many people do their jobs well, and get no thanks. I am not in this for praise I legit want to help people overcome their problems. I am so new to all of this, and there are no certainties in my life. I had a home health care nurse who waited patiently for me to take my finals even though she was busy, and I was late to take my algebra final. I am incredibly grateful people do their jobs. Because so many people wouldn't have bothered to do so.

I was treated with the utmost respect by the entire healthcare team. I get that it won't be all sunshine, and roses. There are going to be days where I will likely hate myself. As my BNA instructor told me I better put a big fat smile on my face, and deal with it. I suppose I still have some of that youthful enthusiasm about changing the world. The way I look at is this way. You are going to have to work hard regardless of what you do especially in my scenario. I might as well do something I am passionate about.

I also look at it this way people in the medical field need relief they do so much, and risk so much professionally. A doctor gets into what 400,000 dollars worth of debt to become a doctor all the while having the stigma of being Mr. Moneybags? A nurse spends their entire life dedicated to helping others all the while to end up in court so they can be chewed up by some lawyer for doing their job? I look at all that the healthcare team goes through, and I think to myself that is who I want to be.

I don't want to whine, complain, bemoan, and have a woe is me attitude when so many people have worked hard to keep me healthy. Lets be realistic to any job worth having in todays competitive world comes with a great deal of scrutiny, and an expectation of results not excuses. I have a lot to learn, and a long way to go. As it is my BNA course should give me a better idea of what I am getting into. I used to be this young idealistic person so convinced I would succeed at changing the world. You know what I have come to realize?

The people who really change the world are those who do their jobs, and do them well. I have a lot to learn, and a long way to go. So thank you everyone for your candor. The medical field is held to the highest scrutiny of any field in the country. That is something that has been impressed upon me very clearly. You know what though it amazes me what healthcare professionals put up with. What they have to deal with. So I look at it this way it needs to get done, some one needs to do it, the healthcare field is understaffed and overworked. I may have my balloon popped right quick if I am fortunate enough to get in.

All my experiences as a patient entitle me to is a right to try to turn my life around. I have a lot to learn, but I have hope. I want to impart that hope onto others like was done for me. My reasons are irrelevant. No ones going to care why I became a nurse if I am fortunate enough to get there. They are going to expect competency, and they should. I have so much to learn, and so many hurdles to overcome. I could complain, and bemoan about my situation, and God knows I do to my closest friends and family. When I am in that classroom however it all disappears. I am like a laser I want to absorb every drop. The op is just trying to justify their decision in a world filled with uncertainty.

If life has taught me anything in my short time on this rock it is that we don't realize how big of heroes everyday working folk are until we experience it for ourselves. I worked 60 hours a week at ATT, and got no praise no thanks. I expect none from nursing, and you know what that is fine with me. I hope I take pleasure in doing my job.

I can tell you this working as a prem tech my finest hours where when I ran new wire. When I was up on that pole running new aerial drop. When everything went wrong, and I spent all day getting a family back into service that is what I loved. When everything goes wrong I want to be the type of person that has the critical thinking faculties to fix the problem. So I suppose I could change majors, I suppose I could quit, I suppose I could move in another direction, but I would spend my entire life wondering if I could have personally been the one to make this world a little more bearable for the infirm, and ill. I would spend my entire life wondering what I could have done differently, and I don't want that for myself.

[maverick1662]

Gavin,

A lot of people get into nursing for various reasons and many of them are legitimate however, there are many in our field that saw nursing as a quick way to make a buck. You go to school for a couple of years and get a decent paying job and so forth. For those looking at nursing as a way to make a quick buck it has been my personal experience that they lack compassion, empathy, and the overall ability to care for their fellow human beings in a manner consistent with being a true nursing professional. That being said there are also a lot of nurses who came into the field for some of the very reasons which are calling to you. They love what they do and are very good at it. There isn't any reason in the world that you can't be one of those nurses too. I've been in nursing for over 23 years now but to be honest it wasn't my first choice for an occupation. I wanted to get into law enforcement or something along those lines however, when my grandfather became gravely ill and was in the hospital I spoke with a male nurse who was helping care for him and he suggested that I should look into nursing. My boyfriend at the time didn't think I really had what it took to be a nurse since I was an interstate truck driver and hadn't been exposed to nursing other than through him. He is also an RN and has been since 1986. I worked on prereqs and took an EMT class at the same time. It was amazing at how easy health care came for me. I graduated in the top 5% of my class and couldn't wait to learn more. I took the long route to get my RN though. I have been a firefighter/EMT, unit secretary/monitor tech, while getting my LPN. I was an LPN for five years then got my ASN in 1997. From there I worked in Critical Care, Long Term Acute Care (LTAC), Emergency, Telemetry, Med/Surg, Surgery, inpatient Nurse Manager, and now am a Nurse Manager for a Community Based Out Patient Clinic for the Veterans Health Administration. I have also earned my BSN and finally three years ago my MSN/Informatics degree. Nursing has been very kind to me and I have had the opportunity to touch so many different peoples lives because of it. Were there times when I had doubts that I made the right choices, sure but in the end I'm very happy that I did.

Don't let your doubts overshadow what you know deep down inside. You are going into nursing for all of the right reasons and don't sell yourself short. Nursing is a dynamic field that has virtually limitless possibilities for anyone willing to take a chance and try something new.

Ask yourself about the negative comments from nurses on here, "if you don't like it, then why don't you leave the field and find something different?" Because deep down inside they either enjoy being at the bedside or they're only in it for the money.

Good luck becoming the next generation of nursing.

[thinwildmercury]

Why would that be the wrong reason to go into nursing? That's like the response you are supposed to give when someone asks you lol. I personally don't think there is a right or wrong reason. As long as you earn your degree and your license and you do your job, I couldn't care less WHY you're doing it.

I feel like most days I am running around trying to complete all of my tasks and put out fires that come up along the way. I don't really feel like I'm giving anything back. And that's aside from the fact that I am being paid very good money to do this job.

[JudyStoneSalmon]

Dear Doubting Yourself,

I was a little disappointed by some of the responses that I read to your letter. I am making the same journey as you for much the same reason. I am a bit ahead of you as I have just started my last year of nursing school. Pre-reqs took me 2 years and I sailed through the TEAS. I am in my fifties and I have had bouts of doubt (no pun intended) and great surges of confidence. I am currently working PRN as a PCT and I know I have made the right decision and for the right reason - to GIVE BACK. Stick with your heart and know that those doors will keep opening and lead you to the place you should be. I have worked with wonderful nurses with wonderful attitudes and some who have reached a time to move on. I'm sure the field has changed over the years - as have most fields. But the bottom line is that there are people who need caring and compassionate caregivers just as you once did - and I have no doubt that you will be an incredible one. Keep the faith and carry on! :)

[dejo]

Your optimism and idealism has obviously touched a nerve with some. If I was your age and newer to the working world, I might even be intimidated by some of the comments that have been made. I think you should take note of the things that are being said but keep in mind that with ANY JOB, you can run into poor management, poor pay, and less than desirable working conditions. This is not something unique to nursing.

In the end only you know if you are choosing to be a nurse for the right reasons and your best bet is to seek counsel from people who actually know you. Best of luck to you.

[NurseFifty]

I agree with you.

I came from another profession before I went into Nursing. I now realize it was a middle-age crisis.

It is ok to have those values - the compassion, etc - those are admirable, BUT we should not forget that Nursing is a profession, just like Accounting, Computer professionals, etc....

If we want to be treated and respected as professionals, we need to think line one and act line one.