Does it get better being a new nurse?

[telealli]

I am currently a new graduate, been working on the tele floor for about 4 months now, and I know I shouldn't say this but I already absolutely dread going to work every single day. I mean I just feel so alone at work, I mean I am constantly worrying about making mistakes, I've already made 2 so far. Even on my days off, my mind is just filled with worries of messing up, making mistakes. I cannot even enjoy my days off.

I feel like the hospital I work for did not provide proper orientation, I only had 2 months worth of it, no classroom education provided just clinicals. What makes it worse is that I signed a 3 year contract to work for this hospital. I know that was my responsibility, but I did not know how horrible the circumstances are in this hospital. I really feel like they don't care about us. They do not provide us CNAs at times, and that really affects patient care when you're too busy doing CNA work increasing your risk of making a mistake. I mean I don't mind cleaning patients, but when it interferes with doing something more important then it is a big issue.

I also feel like most of the nurses gossip too much. I mean this is just too unprofessional. I am friendly with everyone, but still, I just have a feeling they still talk bad about me and my mistakes at times. What makes it worse is that management is friends with some people, and I feel that if I complain about those people, it would just turn out bad for me.

I've never had so much stress in my life, I mean I can't think of doing this for 3 years. I feel like that is why this hospital made new grads such as myself sign this contract so that they can retain us and we have no choice to leave, considering so many nurses have quit before (from what I have heard)...doesn't this seem just not right to you?

I feel like I have no support, no one can understand what I am going through right now. I just feel sick to my stomach going to work, I have no support at work. Sure I have my family and my boyfriend, but it is different.

I am always scared and nervous at night, before I go to work. I always pray, it helps but I still feel anxious.

I hope someone can respond to this. Is this feeling normal? I mean I just feel bad, all of my other classmates have been loving their jobs (from what I see in social media), and I am just here dreading each day at work. I just pray everyday that my patients, myself, and my license are safe. I always try to do the best for my patient, but I cannot help it if mistakes happen

I would love to read others' feedback. Thank you.

[Ayvah, RN]

Nursing is my first career, so I cannot compare it to other fields, but I suspect every career has a horrendous first year.

Its not my first career - being a new hospital nurse was leaps and bounds harder with worse working conditions. However, I think the poor staffing had a huge influence on that. If it had been appropriate, it would have been much more manageable.

[Mr. Murse]

Well, everyone else has done the comforting, and it's all true (this will pass, it will get better, hang in there, etc, etc.....), but I think some of the problem is simply your approach and perspective of the situation.

First thing is orientation and blaming the hospital for not feeling comfortable where you are. This is partly true, but ultimately it is up to you to gain the knowledge you need to work efficiently. I don't mean "just figure it out on your own", but rather learn HOW to figure it out, i.e. asking the right people, knowing where to find policy info, etc. The basics you learned in school, the rest you have gather on the job. I work with a nurse who was on orientation for at least 6 or 7 months (maybe more) and she still blames her mistakes and inability to keep up on her preceptor. Coincidentally, the same preceptor has trained probably half the floor of nurses, who are all very competent and don't blame her for any mistakes they make. This same nurse is also terrible about asking for help, never seeks information from anyone, and tries to be fiercely independent.....to a flaw. Her incompetence is her fault, not her preceptor's. I'm not sure why you expected classroom education from your employer, I don't know of anywhere that does that as part of training. We did our class time in school and now it's time to apply that knowledge. So while 2 months does seem like a short period of orientation compared to some other places, take ownership of your job and even your mistakes and learn from them. Learn how to use your resources to avoid them in the future. Even if it is your employer's fault for giving you poor training, dwelling on that now will only slow you down. Rise above it.

Secondly, I'm wondering if this is your first "real" job. Maybe not, but I've noticed that nurses who went into the field shortly after high school come out with very unrealistic expectations, not just about nursing but about working in the real world in general. Many aspects of the job (gossip, business-driven management, etc) are just part of life in this society. By me saying that I don't mean it's perfectly okay to participate in, just pointing out that these things happen at practically every job to some degree or another. Worse in some places than others, but it still happens. You will get talked about behind your back, just like EVERYONE else. Don't stress about it. Do your thing, do your job, continue to be considerate and helpful with your coworkers and it will be fine. As for the contract, like some other poster pointed out, your employer is just being smart because they've probably seen too many nurses like you come out and get run over by the job like a freight train and get out of there ASAP. It's just business, and that's another fact about any job you'll have to accept to a certain degree. A successful employer can only prioritize their employees over pragmatic sides of the business to a limited degree. It's not personal, it's just the way things work. A lot of nurses who have worked other jobs and been in the real world for a while before getting into nursing handle these "political" sides of the job a lot better. Trust me when I say you will never be able to completely escape things like that, no matter where you go. May be better in some places, but it's there.

Anyway, you will be fine. Hang in there, learn to use your resources, take ownership of and pride in your position......the rest will fall into place.

[applewhitern, BSN, RN]

Two months seems like a long orientation to me! When I was a new grad, I got a grand total of 5 days, then was made charge nurse of a 44 bed telemetry unit! I didn't know sinus from V-tach back then, but I studied constantly, looked stuff up, and asked questions. It will get better, but in the meantime, get lots of sleep, eat right, and try to stop worrying.

[thenightnurse456]

Tele is the floor where new nurses go to learn how to throw up before each shift. That's why tele floors love new grads

This made me laugh. Does that make me a bad person?

[ArtClassRN, ADN, RN]

I was terrified every day for about three months after starting on my own at my new job.

Two months worth of orientation is pretty good.

If you don't like gossip, don't participate in it or pay attention to it. As an RN, there is a crap ton of things involving patients, coworkers, and management that you have to just ignore. If you choose to let it bother you, that is on you. You should find a way to interact in a friendly way with your coworkers; I wonder how well you are at hiding your disdain for them.

Regarding the three years, got to pay your dues if you wanna sing the blues.

Regarding mistakes: All nurses make them, but only new nurses perseverate incessantly on them. Learn from them, move on, and don't ever do it again.

You say you feel isolated, but your post indicates you have done quite a bit to isolate yourself. You sit in judgement of your coworkers (the people you should be teaming up with to clean heavy patients when there is not a CNA around), and even somehow seem to find a way to feel bad when your classmates express job satisfaction on social media. I can't tell if you truly have no support or if you are just making it a self fulfilling prophecy.

"Is this feeling normal?"

Well, you've expressed a lot of feelings. Fear is certainly normal. And healthy. The scariest new nurses, or nursing students, you will ever meet are the ones with no fear. They will blunder into the stupidest things. The fear should subside with experience, and you don't have much yet.

The isolation you express is not normal. Many of us, including me, felt wonderfully supported by coworkers when I was a very new nurse, and I always provide that support to the ones who came behind me. However, I think you should do some thinking about how much that isolation is your responsibility.

Good luck!

[tech1000]

I have made mistakes. Not tons and tons. But I have. I gave imitrex IM and sweat for 3 dang hours until we discharged that patient. (It's a subq med.) I read online that if you give it IV, the patient can do into cardiac arrest because it absorbs too quickly. I was a disaster until I decided the patient probably would have died in the 3 hours they were there since IM meds are absorbed by them. I then felt better when a really great trauma nurse told me she almost put a pt into a coma from doing her insulin drip wrong when she was a new nurse. I've had nurses come to me in the "oh ****" moments and their med errors were no big deal. Nurses are humans. We DO make mistakes. I doubt you'll find a nurse who has never done something wrong. I felt prepared with my orientation to the ER. I would stick it out longer, do research, try to relax on your days off, find nurses that you can talk to. If you can't handle it in the long run, buy out your contract. We had tons of new grads buy theirs out.

[ArtClassRN, ADN, RN]

I have made mistakes. Not tons and tons. But I have. I gave imitrex IM and sweat for 3 dang hours until we discharged that patient. (It's a subq med.)

Pansy! I gave it IV once!

That was a fun day. (Other than phlebitis, the patient was OK).

[Nola009]

You will improve with time and practice. May I ask how your employer got you to sign a 3-yr contract? You said they didn't provide much of an orientation phase. Did they give you a bonus ?