Does becoming a male nurse mean that you have to change your friends also?

rlorenzo24 · Apr 16, 2009

Hi, I new to this but I have a question thats really bothering me.I was wondering if any of you male nurses had any experiences of guys you've been friends with for 10or20yrs. act different towards you or alienate you all together when you told them that you wanted to become a nurse?I'm 41yrs. old and start Pre- Nursing in mid- August.Every since I told everyone I wanted to go into nursing ,the guys act differently with me ,like I've gone soft.I've had arguments with them about it almost to the point of no return.I was raised by mother who was a nurse for 42yrs.She raised me to accept the reality that life has for you now and then,I guess this is one of them.It kind of bothers you when someone you've known that long won't even say hello to you anymore.I figure "F##$ em"What do you think?

This is a perfect moment when you realize who your true friends are. People sometimes like to judge others especially when you're defined by what you do for a living. I say dump em! Friends can be replaced.

emtb2rn, BSN, RN, EMT-B · Apr 20, 2009

Interestingly, the most common reaction I got from my friends was them saying they wish they had the nerve to leave their current job & go to nursing school.

That doesn't include my friend who retired as an NYPD ESU officer. And that's because he became an RN after leaving NYPD. If you're not familiar with ESU, here's how it works - if you're a NYC civilian and you need help, you call for the cops and if you're a NYC cop and you need help, you call for the ESU.

markuskristian · Apr 20, 2009

Here's some good news. Although it may not seem like it, the image of nurses truly is changing. Being a 19yr old college student, when I decided on nursing, there was no real change in attitude among my guy friends. Maybe it has to do with shows like Scrubs or something, but people are starting to realize that nurses are not simply a secretary to a physician.

LocoStrange · Apr 29, 2009

Everyone whom I told that I was going into nursing was very supportive of me. They would joke around and have fun (because I am like that) but nothing to the point of alienating me because of it. In fact, I think they liked the idea of coming to me with problems because now I am a phone call away instead of going to the doctors, haha.

I had some people stop me but that was because they saw me as a raising Chef, destined to be a great and famous person in the food business.

cjcsoon2bnp, MSN, RN, NP · Apr 29, 2009

Once you've graduated I would suggest that you tell your buddies to come to your work to visit you one day and see how they feel about nursing. That'll shut um up... After that tell them off and find some new friends.

!Chris :specs:

PacoUSA, BSN, RN · Apr 30, 2009

Haven't had the same reaction among my male friends that you have had (yet), but I do know that once that happens they will clearly fall off my radar (and that includes family as well as longtime friends). I'm pretty secure in who I am and what I wish to do with my life, and all I can do is surround myself with people who will embrace my decisions. Life's too short to have people I know bring me down or shun me because of my decisions. You should do what makes you happy, period. Good luck to you .. I am also starting my pre-nursing this summer.

Screen name · May 6, 2009

Here's some good news. Although it may not seem like it, the image of nurses truly is changing. Being a 19yr old college student, when I decided on nursing, there was no real change in attitude among my guy friends. Maybe it has to do with shows like Scrubs or something, but people are starting to realize that nurses are not simply a secretary to a physician.

I agree a lot with the above- I'm in my mid-20's and currently in a nursing program. I haven't noticed any difference in the way people act, although when I tell certain people what I'm doing I make myself feel silly at times. Theres a difference in others making you feel a certain way and that feeling coming from your own subconsciousness.

Of course I get the usual comments from those long time friends who are just giving me flack about it. But I think it's just because they're jealous I get to hang out with 90 hott chicks 5 days a week :coollook:

DanChicagoRN · May 12, 2009

No offense but as many others highlighted here your "friends" sound like douchebags- I'm sorry for the blunt language. The fact that they aren't supportive of you clearly says something about their character and their "friendship"

Perhaps many of them are stuck in dead end jobs that they hate and are jealous that you are entering a rewarding career with limitless opportunity that allows you to make a difference in the lives of total strangers each day. Few can claim they do that day in and day out- even fewer make a living like that. Maybe one or more of your friends secretly wanted to become a nurse many years ago, but now regrets it, and is jealous that you had the, excuse me for saying it, balls, to take that chance in the middle of your career and enter nursing school.

Contrary to some caveman beliefs, nursing has a tough and a soft side. The soft side is the caring, compassion and empathy. The tough side is the quick thinking, intelligence, confidence and courage under pressure. Ask these "men" if any of them are man enough to be a nurse? Clearly you are- you're going to be tough enough to stomach blood guts and gore. Not everyone can do that.

My friends were all very accepting of me going into nursing- many commented that they couldn't stomach all the blood and guts involved. I entered nursing school straight from high school, an all boys high school at that. It was an interesting change- going from classes with all boys to almost all women. Many of my guy friends are still jealous that each day I work with and am friends with so many beautiful, intelligent women. Finally, as I started my first job as an RN, my base salary was a lot higher and even with the recession I still have good job security.

You should check out the American Assembly for Men in Nursing- AAMN- http://www.aamn.org. Finally, I'd encourage you to join the National Student Nurses Association- NSNA. http://www.nsna.org

DanChicagoRN

exit96 · May 20, 2009

Never crossed my mind. My friends know that I "do whatever I want" and that I am secure in my masculinity. I play fast-pitch with them in the summer, play in a rock and roll band almost every weekend, spill beer with them etc....I think one of them joked once about 'doing a girl job" and we both laughed it off and had a drink and never missed a beat (am I sounding like an alcoholic here?...LOL). I am 46 years old so I am not sure we can apply the "era" test to this situation. I would suggest that your "friends" are the type of guys you see on "Deliverance" or maybe they have the ability to provoke and manipulate you...Carry on with your ambition to be a nurse, and those who "belong" among your circle of friends will be there!

Dan2010 · Dec 23, 2010

Are you kidding me man?, RN is one of the hardest jobs in the world, you have to be smart, have tact, show compation, show hope, show confidence, show endurance, show encouragement and a thirst to stay alive and healthy. You can not even compare a rough (physical) trade job with the mental endurance that a Nurse have to have. They "wizards" and "witches" or "Jedis", to use a more positive term, of the medicine world. Soft? Tell them to try to keep it together in the face of death and you'll see them fall apart crying like babies. No, you don't need to keep as friends you'll past them behind and leave them in the dust. Go ahead, they probably don't have the stamina. Being a Nurse takes almost a "Super human stregth" to achieve.