Does anyone else feel this way?

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I'm currently a nursing student and while my passion is to help people feel better I find myself going in with mixed feeling towards certain patients. The patients I am referring to have sicknesses caused by smoking and drinking. While I will do everything in my power to help them get better or be as comfortable as possible I find myself not feeling sorry for them. I feel like they got what was coming to them and that they knew the risks involved in using these substances and so only have themselves to blame. Does anyone else feel this way?

I know some may answer that the same should apply to obese and diabetic patients and I believe it doesn't. You need to eat to live, yes moderation is the key but many things can contribute to obesity and you can't not eat; however, you don't have to smoke and you don't have to drink and so it is solely the choice of the person using these substances.

i don't think that's true nor possible.

So either you mean to tell me that you have no biases or pregideses which is nearly impossible or that you act on them because as you said it is not possible to put your feelings aside. People put aside their personal feelings everyday it's called proffesionalism, whether or not you believe it is your prerogative.

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No, I never feel this way. I think you should think very carefully about this issue. I have heard other nurses say things like this and I remove myself from the disscussion. I don't even assume an elderly person is " a nice old lady, or cute", I have no clue what kind of life anyone lives. I just treat them with dignity and respect and I feel sad for all sick people.

The choices people make are sometimes a direct result of things that have happened in their lives, the way humans deal with stress, and the way patients deal with other diseases. I don't judge someone at all, not even the slightest. I do not look at an obese person as disgusting, I have no right, I have done things in my life that are abusive to my body. I almost never drank, but even I, have had one too many drinks once or twice when I was 20, hit a fast food resturaunt when I have an extra 10 lbs to loose, I can even think of a few sexual partners could have been a risk to my health that I could have done without.

I would hope someone would put aside their judgment and feel sad for my suffering. I am the patient you do not feel sorry for...I am a smoker. I struggle with stress. I take care of sick people in my job, I am the mother of an autistic child, and at night I go outside for about 5-7 cigarrettes after my son is asleep. Should I probably go to a therapist to deal with the stress, yes!! For whatever reason, I don't. I would rather enjoy a cancer stick, it relaxes me. The thought of spending 150 dollars a week on a therapist, finding the time to go and the fear of what I would be like off smoking scares me. I am just not ready. So if you wanna judge me for being a smoker and destroying my body go ahead. But also remember that I took care of many other people, cared for a severely disabled child WONDERFULLY, cooked dinner every night, payed my bills, loved my extended family all my life and could use a bit of compassion. Why don't you next time just say "I am a nurse, my job requires me to not judge patients, and to respect their wishes, I will try to educate them to the best of my ability and refer them to the services they may need."

I feel sad for all sick people, olympians, runners, virgins, HIV+ people, smokers, hookers, STD+ patients, alcoholics, crack smokers, severly obese people, everyone.

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Specializes in Hospice.

The difference between an amateur and a professional is that your feelings are irrelevant. It's not your job to feel sorry for anyone. It's your job to provide safe, competent nursing care and to behave with the same basic human respect you would expect for yourself, regardless of diagnosis or life history.

It's an ideal we often fail to reach ... but it remains the gold standard, IMHO.

It's hard to deal with patients who push our buttons, for whatever reason. But deal we must.

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So either you mean to tell me that you have no biases or pregideses which is nearly impossible or that you act on them because as you said it is not possible to put your feelings aside. People put aside their personal feelings everyday it's called proffesionalism, whether or not you believe it is your prerogative.

you said you do not feel sad for people who brought this on themselves (except for obese people apparently who couldn't help but to get up to 500 lbs). they knew what they were doing - they had it coming, etc, etc.

NO, i don't think someone who feels like THAT about a patient can "treat them with the SAME respect as every other patient" you're telling me you'd work just as hard/quickly to get them their meds as you would for the patient who got hit by a car - even if it was time for your lunch break? no you wouldn't. they can wait - afterall, they knew this was going to end up happening anyway. they should've thought about how painful it would be before they did it, right?

i dunno - i can't wrap my head around it. i feel bad for patients because of where they are while i'm with them - not what they did before that or what they'll do after.

once again - SCARY!

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Specializes in Medical Surgical Orthopedic.

Nah....we all "get what's coming to us". The fact that they get one thing and I get another doesn't make me feel smug at all. I like the idea of imagining each person as the baby they once were. We are all born innocent, but unfortunately, lots of things go wrong for each of us before it's all over.

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Specializes in CNA.

All I can say is wow and I hope no one I know ever has you as their nurse. Life happens and people deal with it differently. Kudos to you for never doing anything unhealthy ever in your life, and for never having ANY bad habits. The majority of us less than perfect people have though and that is why there is a need for nurses/doctors/RT/PT/OT etc etc...

Alcohol and nicotine are addicting as are drugs, sex, food... they all get in there and control the person who is susceptible (through stress, physical/mental abuse, low self esteem or any number of other combinations). Addiction is a disease and while you may not understand or feel the need to poo-poo their addiction it doesn't make it any less real to the patient. Learn some empathy or you will not survive in this profession. JEEZ!

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NO, i don't think someone who feels like THAT about a patient can "treat them with the SAME respect as every other patient" you're telling me you'd work just as hard/quickly to get them their meds as you would for the patient who got hit by a car - even if it was time for your lunch break? no you wouldn't. they can wait - afterall, they knew this was going to end up happening anyway. they should've thought about how painful it would be before they did it, right?!

Now youre making inferences with nothing to base it on.

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Now youre making inferences with nothing to base it on.

um, i'm basing it on what you SAID in your OP.

anyway, you should reconsider your career choice. seriously.

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Not at all. One of the first thing we were taught in Nursing School is to be non-judgemental and treat everybody with respect, because human dignity is universal. Plus, I am not a perfect person (I've made mistakes) so why would I expect patients to have lived perfect lives? That person who spend years drinking or doing drugs could just have easily been me. I don't know why it wasn't me.

The people I have a hard time feeling compassion for are the ones who borrowed money like Greece or Ireland just to go to Nursing School and are now complaining how unfair it is they have to pay the money back if they failed out or graduated but can't find a job, lol.

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Specializes in L&D/Maternity nursing.

alcoholism and smoking are addictions. These patients are sick. Not only are they suffering from all the side effects of the addition, but suffering from the addiction itself. No, I do not feel like they deserve what they had coming. What I feel is that they need help and I am happy to assist them with that.

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um, i'm basing it on what you SAID in your OP.

Please point out to me where I SAID I would treat them differently. You seem fixated on the notion that feelings and actions cannot be separated. As for rethinking my proffesion, guess what, what you think will not change my choice to be a nurse. You can think I'm a bad person for being honest about my feelings but I know myself better than you know me. I guess we will just have to agree to disagree.

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Specializes in LTC, Acute Care.
However you do not get lung cancer from one cigarette nor do you get cirrhosis of the liver from one drink so I know this person abused these substances.

That is not true. You can get lung cancer without ever smoking and you can get cirrhosis as a nondrinker. You knew that, right?

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