Doctors Say the Darnedest Things Nurses Week Contest

[Brian S.]

As a nurse, you've certainly heard doctors say some rather confounding things. As part of our 2019 celebration of National Nurses Week, we want you to share some of those things that come from the mouths of doctors which leave you shaking your head. Whether it's funny or infuriating, we want to hear it. You could win $250 courtesy of Jacksonville University just for sharing! Winners will be announced May 13, 2019.

About Jacksonville University

Since 1934, Jacksonville University has helped its graduates achieve lifelong success as learners, leaders, achievers and public servants. JU’s Brooks Rehabilitation College of Healthcare Sciences and Keigwin School of Nursing prepare students to be leaders and innovators in the healthcare industry. CCNE-accredited and a member of American Association of Colleges of Nursing, Jacksonville University offers degree programs including: RN to BSN, RN to MSN*, MSN*, MSN/MBA and post graduate certificate options (*3 specializations available). Learn more about Jacksonville University.

[ICUnurse1997, MSN, APRN]

Cardiologist walked into patient’s room and said, “well, you’ve had a heart attack!” He then realized he went into the wrong room.

[sevensonnets]

An MD finished rounds then sped off down the hall with my coworker hot on his heels. Dr. H!! Can I ask you a question real quick?? He says sure, if you come in the bathroom with me!

[Mona1206]

After ordering a patient stat insulin for a blood sugar over 500. The doctor said to me please get him some apple juice. He said he wants some juice.

[booboo0331]

One of our specialist was seen running out of the patient’s room when the patient stopped breathing. He was yelling for a doctor. Someone pointed out he WAS a doctor. He replied not THAT kind of a doctor.

[balletomane, ADN, RN]

Called to notify hospitalist that patient's leg was now red & warm and slightly painful. Dr. says, "Well, it wasn't like that this morning! Has the patient noticed?" I wanted to reply, "No...let's not tell him and just cover it with a blanket and send him home."

[Overcast]

How do I start an IV?

[Satori77, ADN]

Had a patient with dementia and a UTI getting increasingly confused through the night. All his meds were PO and he would pocket on them or start choking. He was on O2 and kept pulling it off, and he was desatting pretty bad. He was also getting very agitated, trying to fall out of bed, swinging at staff, even grabbed another nurse by the stethoscope around her neck. Called the doc to see if we could get something IV prescribed to calm him down. He was going to either hurt himself or a staff member. His only reply was "I'm not worried, he'll live" and hung up the phone.

[LauraOR]

When I worked night shift on a medsurg floor a I had to call a resident for a second opinion and some orders. He saw me running around like crazy and said “thank god I am a doctor because a nurses job is too hard with little pay! You work too hard. Oh, by the way, can you put a pic line in this patient?”

i lost it and walked away laughing.

[TriciaJ, RN]

On 4/25/2019 at 7:42 AM, CalicoKitty said:

Asked a doc why we had a DNR/DNI actively dying patient on telemetry. "Well, we can get an accurate time of death"....

As seen on TV! ?

[Anonymous Guest]

Definitely say it in their head.

[ICUnurse1997, MSN, APRN]

Cardiologist cardioverted an elderly women who had atrial fibrillation. After cardioversion she was bradycardic, hypotensive, and diaphorectic.

Cardiologist said to paramedic student, “She was doing better when she was in a fib so we should put her back into a fib.”

Paramedic student: “How do we do that?”

cardiologist: “Well, we shocked her with 200 joules so maybe we should shock her with a negative 200 joules.”

paramedic student: “Wow, we haven’t learned that in class yet!”

[ADN2012]

May I borrow your stethoscope? (Why do they never have them?!) lol