Do You Have To Be Religious/Spiritual to be a good Nurse?

[Soliloquy]

I'm struggling with this to an extent. I go to a deeply religious school and yes, I hate it. At times I feel as though it's a major requirement to be religious in order to function as a nurse and I didn't always feel this way but this is what I keep seeing. I like myself, know what I like and dislike, what I want to do, where I'd like to go, but I'm not religious (certainly not Catholic) and the only link I have to Christianity is my liking and connection to the Bible. My "spirituality" is derived from my ability to trust myself unconditionally. But being here has made me wonder if I have to be solidly spiritual/religious in order to thrive in the world of nursing.

Also, I'm not one for groupthink and dogma and at times I feel as though many of my peers are and the professors seem to expect it. I don't kiss up to authority figures and treat everyone as a person regardless of status (all people, as far as I'm concerned, deserve respect and if I unable to provide that, I avoid them). But it drives me crazy the way they behave and they find me to be very antisocial/unsocial and distant. I'm none of these things, but just feel as though I'm fully capable of thinking, feeling, and acting on my own and for myself. Yes, I ask for help when I need it and I am friendly, but I don't feel as though I have to put my desires on the back burner if I don't have to.

I'm struggling guys and really just feeling uncomfortable with all the feedback I keep getting. I'm about to be in the real world and I want to make sure that IT is not like my college experience.

[WestCoastSunRN, MSN, CNS]

[quote

Patients can believe whatever they want. If they want my presence while they are praying, if they want me to go to church with them, if they want me to read the Bible with them, I will be honest with them that I don't believe in Yahweh. If they insist that my participation would make them feel better about themselves, I will not say no providing that I don't cross patient-provider boundary.

Can you do the same for me as a Christian?

Assuming that you have time and the policy allows it,

if I ask you to be present when I pray to Bodhisattva,

if I ask you to go to a shrine with me,

if I ask you to read the beggar and the Buddha story for me,

are you going to honor my wish and do that even though you don't believe what I believe?

Yes. I adapt in all sorts of ways for the sake of my patients. I think all nurses do this. You seem to be zeroed in on the evangelical aspect of Christianity.

Conversion, from an orthodox Christian perspective is between God and each person. That's way above my pay grade figuratively and literally.

That said, I've known "evangelicals" from various belief systems. I recognize this as sincerity in whatever beliefs the person holds and feels compelled to share and gain adherents of. I don't take it personally.

Interestingly in my part of the country CHristians are in the minority. Atheism/agnosticism is the "new black". Makes me realize what it feels like to be in the minority.

Sometimes someone preaches to me about whatever political/social/spiritual thing is on their heart. I smile and nod and might say "that's interesting".

It's not that hard to given others space to believe whatever it is they'd believe. It's no skin off my bones. But just so you know? I've never once "counter-evangelized" someone who was evangelizing me. Unless we share true friendship, I leave it.

I'm a Christian.

[khminh]

Yes. I adapt in all sorts of ways for the sake of my patients. I think all nurses do this. You seem to be zeroed in on the evangelical aspect of Christianity.

I don't think so. How many nurses do you think actually put themselves aside for patients' sake in this board? Just a click and you can see they take advantage of this learning forum to recruit souls.

I bet they think you are not a real Christian.

That said, I've known "evangelicals" from various belief systems. I recognize this as sincerity in whatever beliefs the person holds and feels compelled to share and gain adherents of. I don't take it personally.

Interestingly in my part of the country CHristians are in the minority. Atheism/agnosticism is the "new black". Makes me realize what it feels like to be in the minority.

So far, most evangelicals I have encountered are Christians. There were a few occasions I encountered Hare Krishna and Wahabi Muslims. There were too few of them for me to make a big deal.

You have very high threshold for evangelical Christians. I wish I still had it. If I was a naive ignorant person who knew nothing about the Bible, perhaps my tolerance would be high. I'm not the same person again after reading the Bible. I'm not an atheist, but I have to agree with Richard Dawkins that no character I have known of can be compared to Yahweh. Even a fascist like Hitler is a breeze compared to Christian god.

I don't understand how nurses, who are supposed to be a paragon of compassion in health care profession, can ask people to believe in a deity like Yahweh with zealotry. When I think about having a neighbor who is enamored with an executioner, I got chill to my spine.

When I was a kid, I had seen my uncle cut a chicken's throat and bleed it to death. It troubled me a lot, but I was raised in that environment, so I had no choice but getting used to it. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to pass reading the Torah. It is truly bizarre that people can take this seriously and consider it good and just.

Where are you living? I don't know any place in this country where Christians are the minority. They may be less vocal, but that doesn't mean they are in minority.

Even in California, where non Christians are supposed to feel safe, I still occasionally encountered some Bible-belt Christians.

Sometimes someone preaches to me about whatever political/social/spiritual thing is on their heart. I smile and nod and might say "that's interesting".

Perhaps you grew up in a religious culture and at least you are somewhat among the powerful group, so you can let it go easily.

I was nurtured in a society where it is rude to provoke people's beliefs without their consent. My spirituality is personal, meaningful, and sacred to me. I am willing to let it be challenged in a right context. Otherwise, I prefer to keep it to myself just like what I am doing with my boyfriend at night.

For patients' sake, I am happy to make an exception. It's difficult, but it is my calling when I choose to take care of them. With other nurses, it's a different story. I don't allow anyone to provoke me without asking me first. This is a common human decency and respect. Evangelical people don't seem to get it.

It's not that hard to given others space to believe whatever it is they'd believe. It's no skin off my bones.

I don't care what people believe in their own world. As long as they leave me out of it, I will be cool. I have met people who profess their love in someone that I cannot stand, but I let them know it is all right to love whoever that brings them happiness and tranquility.

I've never once "counter-evangelized" someone who was evangelizing me. Unless we share true friendship, I leave it.

I admire your tolerance. I wish I had that high level of resilience before I open my mouth. In the past, I took huge courage to slam my door in front of two Baptists. I felt good doing so. It felt free for not zipping my lips and not allowing to Christians to think that they own the public sphere so that they can do whatever they want.

I hate being rude to people, but sometimes enough is enough. I let Christians get a pass at school, at work, at my property for many times. I no longer have patience for them; hence, I will smear them without legal assistance when they don't respect my boundary.

[Wuzzie]

I don't think so. How many nurses do you think actually put themselves aside for patients' sake in this board? Just a click and you can see they take advantage of this learning forum to recruit souls.

Do you have any idea how many people are part of this board? The number is actually staggering and the percentage of outspoken Christians is statistically insignificant. And they get shut down all the time when they go off the rails...by other Christian nurses no less. Learning is only one aspect of this site. The larger part of it is the social side. Perhaps you have misunderstood that.

I bet they think you are not a real Christian.

Maybe so but I don't care. My faith is between my God and me.

I don't understand how nurses, who are supposed to be a paragon of compassion in health care profession, can ask people to believe in a deity like Yahweh with zealotry.

Where in the heck do you live that this is so pervasive? I have to say in my 30+ years of doing this the subject rarely, if ever, comes up.

Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to pass reading the Torah. It is truly bizarre that people can take this seriously and consider it good and just.

So now you have Jews in your sights. They don't even proselytize. What's your beef with them?

Otherwise, I prefer to keep it to myself just like what I am doing with my boyfriend at night.

Okay that's really TMI!

I don't care what people believe in their own world. As long as they leave me out of it, I will be cool. I have met people who profess their love in someone that I cannot stand, but I let them know it is all right to love whoever that brings them happiness and tranquility.

Oh, but you do care! And you have spent an inordinate amount of time here bashing people who have been very tolerant of your views and have NEVER done anything to you.

I hate being rude to people, but sometimes enough is enough. I let Christians get a pass at school, at work, at my property for many times. I no longer have patience for them; hence, I will smear them without legal assistance when they don't respect my boundary.

Yet you feel fine with disrespecting the boundary of the community here who has never, ever done anything to you by repeatedly attacking the belief system of some of the members. By painting all Christians with the same broad brush without actually getting to know what the individual truly believes you are doing exactly that which you accuse them of doing. Being intolerant. You smear people here without even knowing them. Perhaps you need to remove the log from your own eye.

I have responded to you on a few other posts and have attempted to remain open and neutral to your thoughts and beliefs. I have explained my fairly moderate, certainly not evangelical, belief system. I have let you know that I've never participated in the behaviors you abhor. But honestly, your rants are getting tiresome and you are hurting your cause. I think even the atheists here are getting a little irritated. You've said your piece. I think it's time you move on and participate in some discussions about actual nursing so we can get to know another side of you. I wish you peace in your journey

[WestCoastSunRN, MSN, CNS]

^^ what she said. ^^

[khminh]

Do you have any idea how many people are part of this board? The number is actually staggering and the percentage of outspoken Christians is statistically insignificant. And they get shut down all the time when they go off the rails...by other Christian nurses no less. Learning is only one aspect of this site. The larger part of it is the social side. Perhaps you have misunderstood that.

I admit that I don't get much about socialization at allnurses. What I see is usually advice, tips, stories about patients and how to better nursing care for them. Then there is arguments about religion and politics. I don't see much social interaction here. Maybe you can guide me to the correct board for that purpose.

Where in the heck do you live that this is so pervasive? I have to say in my 30+ years of doing this the subject rarely, if ever, comes up.

I lived in this area of Oakland for about 4 years before my family moved to the current apartment. There was a Christian church a few blocks from my house. Its people stopped by my house every 2-3 weeks. They alternate with Mormons and Jehovah witnesses. If they didn't hand out pamphlets, there would be questions exactly like the ones we see in this board about Jesus, being saved, eternal damnation.

Then I encountered a Mexican Catholic apologetic, a non-denominational Christian from Fresno, a California native Presbyterian, a Greek Romanian Orthodox, and a Southern Baptist from Louisiana in college. It was not a rural area, but the school was secluded from surroundings.

At my former workplace in Castro Valley, I encountered some Russian Christians.

At my current job, I have two Christian colleagues who are wonderful people. Occasionally I encountered bible believing fundamentalists, a Hare Krishna, and two Muslims.

I don't deal with annoying Christians every day. However, unpleasant experience with them has cumulative effects on me. Especially after I read the whole Bible, I can be triggered fast by certain statements.

So now you have Jews in your sights. They don't even proselytize. What's your beef with them?

I have met two self professed Jews so far. They are very nice people. I don't have any problem with them. When I said the Torah, I was talking about 5 books of Moses. I said that my childhood experience seeing chicken's throat cut and bled to death makes me more resilient when I read commandments in the Torah that ordered execution against non Hebrews. I think even Jason Vorhee's killings cannot be compared.

You don't have to believe me. Just read Exodus, Numbers, Leviticus, you will understand.

From my understanding, Jews always rely on the Talmud to understand the Torah. Christians, in contrast, actually believed these commandments were from God, and it was completely justified to kill anyone who violated any Mosaic laws. They believed that was good and just. That's why I get chill and become more cautious when I am around those Christians.

Okay that's really TMI!

I don't know what TMI means.

Oh, but you do care! And you have spent an inordinate amount of time here bashing people who have been very tolerant of your views and have NEVER done anything to you.

Yes, I do bash people, but these people are nurses who spread ideas that are dehumanizing. These people are not patients. I never get in an argument with patients. You have seen questions from nurses who are not sure what to do when patients ask them to pray with them. I never have that dilemma.

Let me give you one example. At one of my former jobs, I took care of this patient who met his daughter once a week. The other daughter barely contacted him, and the son almost never called him. He was a Christian, a serious one. There was a bus that took him to church every week. Since his daughter couldn't be with him when he was in church, he said to me my presence with him would comfort his soul greatly. He saw me like a kid of his. He knew that I didn't believe in Jesus, so he didn't push me. I wanted to give him my best, so it didn't take even 2 seconds to say yes. I went to church with him when I was not busy.

That is with patients. With nurses, it's a totally different story. Nurses are not my patients; they are healthcare professionals like I am. Hence, if they stop behaving like a professional, I will treat them exactly like that.

Yet you feel fine with disrespecting the boundary of the community here who has never, ever done anything to you by repeatedly attacking the belief system of some of the members.

Beliefs are not worthy of respect. People are worthy of respect when they practice their beliefs for personal development. When they tell me I should believe like they do, they are not worthy of my respect, either.

I don't appreciate it when Christians, moderate or evangelical, constantly say to me "we are all born sinners." First of all, I am not a Christian. I don't belong to this "we" in their statement. Second of all, my culture was influenced by Buddhism and Confucianism, in which it is believed that people were born inherently good and that they have worth. I carry this value with me to this country. When Christians classify me under their religion, they dig their own grave because I have to defend myself.

If Christians say "I was born a sinner", they talk about themselves. When they say "We were born sinners," in a conversation with me, they include me under their religion, and I am entitled to smear them. It's fair game.

By painting all Christians with the same broad brush without actually getting to know what the individual truly believes you are doing exactly that which you accuse them of doing. Being intolerant. You smear people here without even knowing them.

This happened to me in the past:

Colleague: Do you go to church?

Me: No

Colleague: Do you want to go to church with me this Sunday?

Me: No, thank you.

Colleague: It will be fun, you know. You can receive God's blessing, too.

Me: I don't worship your god.

Colleague: But he loves you and cares about your soul.

Me: I don't need to be blessed by a deity who ordered his chosen people to execute every Canaanite, including children. I would have to sacrifice my humanity first before I receive his blessing. Receiving blessing from your god would make me a tyrant sympathizer. I have my dignity and my inner Buddha to lose here.

That shut him up for good. I no longer saw him after that incident. It was a relief.

What do you think? Am I justified for smearing him?

As you can see, when Christians make their religious statement, they almost always include "you", "we", "they". They include me and people who are not members of their faith in their faith-based statements. Thus, I feel like I have every right to smear them.

If you think I am too harsh on Christians, what is your advice if you were in my shoes dealing with people like that colleague of mine? Honestly, I want to know.

I never initiate any religious conversation with other nurses. The Christian in my example didn't talk like a street preacher, but he clearly didn't respect my boundary. I feel like I had to be firm with him by exclusively stating the reason I don't worship his god.

I don't know how to respond without smearing him. Maybe you can teach me how to respond tactfully.

I have my principle compromised for patients. I don't know if I can do the same with nurses.

Perhaps you need to remove the log from your own eye.

I'm sorry. I'm not a Christian. That passage in Luke 6:39-45 doesn't apply to me. I feel totally fine judging people when they make statements about me using their religion. I am not a member of their faith, so I don't feel an obligation to be an object for them to talk about. When they want me to adhere to their faith, I am entitled to judge them. I don't mind them judging me back.

I have responded to you on a few other posts and have attempted to remain open and neutral to your thoughts and beliefs. I have explained my fairly moderate, certainly not evangelical, belief system. I have let you know that I've never participated in the behaviors you abhor. But honestly, your rants are getting tiresome and you are hurting your cause. I think even the atheists here are getting a little irritated. You've said your piece. I think it's time you move on and participate in some discussions about actual nursing so we can get to know another side of you. I wish you peace in your journey

I say what I need to say. I simply response to whatever answer pointed at me. I don't intend to drag this topic forever.

[hppygr8ful, ASN, RN, EMT-I]

Mods can we please close this thread already - It has been beaten to death!

[Wuzzie]

There was a Christian church a few blocks from my house. Its people stopped by my house every 2-3 weeks. They alternate with Mormons and Jehovah witnesses. If they didn't hand out pamphlets, there would be questions exactly like the ones we see in this board about Jesus, being saved, eternal damnation.

Well, that would be annoying for sure. They were invading your space. That's not right. People posing questions on this board are not. YOU are choosing to look at them. That's all on you. People have every right to ask any question they like on this board.

I don't deal with annoying Christians every day. However, unpleasant experience with them has cumulative effects on me. Especially after I read the whole Bible, I can be triggered fast by certain statements.

So you are letting a very small percentage of people out of the thousands you have encountered in your lifetime bother you this much. That seems kind of pointless.

I have met two self professed Jews so far. They are very nice people. I don't have any problem with them. When I said the Torah, I was talking about 5 books of Moses. I said that my childhood experience seeing chicken's throat cut and bled to death makes me more resilient when I read commandments in the Torah that ordered execution against non Hebrews. I think even Jason Vorhee's killings cannot be compared.

You don't have to believe me. Just read Exodus, Numbers, Leviticus, you will understand.

From my understanding, Jews always rely on the Talmud to understand the Torah. Christians, in contrast, actually believed these commandments were from God, and it was completely justified to kill anyone who violated any Mosaic laws. They believed that was good and just. That's why I get chill and become more cautious when I am around those Christians.

That's what you don't understand. Modern Christian's believe the New Testament is a new covenant with God. They no longer practice the customs of the Old Testament. Seriously they really don't.

I don't know what TMI means.

Too Much Information. Nobody cares what you do in your bedroom and nobody wants a reference to it.

Yes, I do bash people, but these people are nurses who spread ideas that are dehumanizing.

No you bash anybody who is a nurse and also a Christian. Over and over. People you've never met. People who have never done anything to you.

I don't appreciate it when Christians, moderate or evangelical, constantly say to me "we are all born sinners." First of all, I am not a Christian. I don't belong to this "we" in their statement. Second of all, my culture was influenced by Buddhism and Confucianism, in which it is believed that people were born inherently good and that they have worth. I carry this value with me to this country. When Christians classify me under their religion, they dig their own grave because I have to defend myself.

Sure, but not every Christian does that or will do that yet you feel justified in denigrating all of them. It was pointed out to you that some people of your faith do bad things and you justified that by saying there are bad Buddhists but they don't represent all Buddhists. If that's so then the same should go for Christians

If Christians say "I was born a sinner", they talk about themselves. When they say "We were born sinners," in a conversation with me, they include me under their religion, and I am entitled to smear them. It's fair game.

No, you are entitled to disagree.

That shut him up for good. I no longer saw him after that incident. It was a relief.

Well, good for you. I'm sure you were very proud of yourself. OR you could have just politely disagreed and ended the conversation. You know two wrongs don't make a right. So be the bigger person.

What do you think? Am I justified for smearing him?

No. Nobody had the right to smear anyone.

If you think I am too harsh on Christians, what is your advice if you were in my shoes dealing with people like that colleague of mine? Honestly, I want to know.

How about "Thank you for sharing your faith. I can tell it's very important to you. I like to know what's important to people. Would you like to hear about mine?" Or just politely say you're not interested in discussing religion and move on.

I don't know how to respond without smearing him. Maybe you can teach me how to respond tactfully.

Just tell him you aren't interested and repeat it until he gets the message. No need to be rude.

I'm sorry. I'm not a Christian. That passage in Luke 6:39-45 doesn't apply to me. I feel totally fine judging people when they make statements about me using their religion. I am not a member of their faith, so I don't feel an obligation to be an object for them to talk about. When they want me to adhere to their faith, I am entitled to judge them. I don't mind them judging me back.

I'm not talking about judging them for their religion. I'm talking about you ******** about Christians being intolerant while you're doing the exact same thing. So yes it does apply to you

I say what I need to say. I simply response to whatever answer pointed at me. I don't intend to drag this topic forever.

No, you opened the Spirituality section of this forum and resurrected really old threads that were here before you even joined this forum just so you could spread your hatred of Christians as a whole. You have an agenda and you are being a bit disingenuous to deny it. Like I said before you are now hurting your own cause. Most of us, even the Christians, enjoy a good discussion but not with a person who repeatedly denigrates an entire religion and the people who are part of it. I have Buddhist friends and a couple of Ba'Hai ones too. We have really fun spirited discussions but we do it with respect and a sense of honoring each other's belief systems whether we agree with them or not. That is simply not possible with you. Again I wish you the best on your journey.

[GrumpyRN, NP]

This happened to me in the past:

Colleague: Do you go to church?

Me: No

Colleague: Do you want to go to church with me this Sunday?

Me: No, thank you.

Colleague: It will be fun, you know. You can receive God's blessing, too.

Me: I don't worship your god.

Colleague: But he loves you and cares about your soul.

Me: I don't need to be blessed by a deity who ordered his chosen people to execute every Canaanite, including children. I would have to sacrifice my humanity first before I receive his blessing. Receiving blessing from your god would make me a tyrant sympathizer. I have my dignity and my inner Buddha to lose here.

That shut him up for good. I no longer saw him after that incident. It was a relief.

What do you think? Am I justified for smearing him?

Just before the mods close this thread may I put in another 2 pence worth?

Your conversation I have quoted was fine up until your last sentence. That was rude and unnecessary on your part. A simple "I do not wish to continue this, please stop telling me about your church/religion as I am not interested," would have been enough. Even a simple "I am not christian," would have done.

As stated before I am utterly atheist and have even been called "an aggressive atheist" but would never talk like that. I believe that religion is a waste of time, money and effort BUT it is entirely up to people to make their own choice.

No, you were not justified in smearing anyone like that. Your intolerance is showing.

I agree with hppygr8ful, close this down.

[Tenebrae, BSN, RN]

No, one does not have to be religious nor even spiritual to be a good nurse.

I am a lifelong atheist, and have been very effective at comforting all types of ppl, facing all types of issues, and have even worked hospice.

I learned decades ago, that my being an out atheist at work, is not helpful. I was very young, i made mistakes at first. Atheists (not that YOU are an atheist, but, i am) are not usually trusted by non-atheists. Once or twice, i was even re-assigned at the patient request, when he asked me if i believed in god, and i replied no. He said he couldn't trust an atheist.

that is when i learned how to respond in a more therapeutic way. Each person has to find their own way, but, i think being non-spiritual, could be similar to a religious person caring for a person of another faith. I'd imagine, or hope, that say, a christian nurse, in caring for a jewish or muslim patient, for example,

would be able to honor and respect that patient, even though they do not worship the same gods.

Imo, it's kinda like that as an atheist.

I step over their gods all day long. It's surprising, how often a nurse gets asked, "Nurse, do you believe in Jesus/God/Lord,?"

Turns out, the patient usualy does not want to know,

and when they ask this, they are more hoping for a springboard for their own self to discuss their beliefs, or how their beliefs are helping them in this crisis.

I have close pal, who is an atheist doctor, and he and i chuckled, in the combined 94 years of medical service between us,

not once,

has any patient ever noticed, we do NOT actually answer the question. For real, the patients don't even notice. and not one of our coworkers knows either one of us is godless, either.

I am not "out" AT WORK. I myself rather wish, that ppl left politics and gods out of their workplaces, but, i step over these topics. Frankly, i dislike being ostracized by others for having a different opinion,

and i honestly do not have time to have debates with either coworkers or patients. In fact, i think it'd be rather unhelpful, to debate a patient, unless in a joking fashion. Each person has a right to their own beliefs. (even me)

I simply find another way to reply. I reply with remarks like, "Is your faith very important to you?"

and after they've went on for a while, i change subject gently, or, if it seems appropriate, offer to summon a preacher/minister, etc.

If they ask, "What church do you go to?" this is usually code for, "I want to tell you about MY church!"

so instead of answering, i usually say something like, "What church do you belong to?" and rapidly follow up, some other question about that church, "Is that a large church?" or "How long have you been a member there?" or "Must feel comforting that so many are praying for you, they must really care about you."

I do not ever lie. I don't partake in religious rituals, such as prayer circles around the bed, etc. That is the one line i won't cross, in some small way, to be true to my own self, however small and silent that might be. INstead, i look at my watch, and say, "Oh, i have to go pass meds/change a dressing/call a doc/check on patient" something, and leave room.

This moment is not about ME.

this moment is about my patient.

WHATEVER comforts my patient, is what i want to support, whether or not, i believe in that god.

Well said

[khminh]

Just before the mods close this thread may I put in another 2 pence worth?

Your conversation I have quoted was fine up until your last sentence. That was rude and unnecessary on your part. A simple "I do not wish to continue this, please stop telling me about your church/religion as I am not interested," would have been enough. Even a simple "I am not christian," would have done.

As stated before I am utterly atheist and have even been called "an aggressive atheist" but would never talk like that. I believe that religion is a waste of time, money and effort BUT it is entirely up to people to make their own choice.

No, you were not justified in smearing anyone like that. Your intolerance is showing.

I agree with hppygr8ful, close this down.

You are correct. I don't hide my intolerance. When Christians hear me say "I don't worship your god", that is a good cue for them to stop pursuing the passive aggressive tactic. He kept going with proselytization. I needed to be rude to him for once so that I could be left in peace.

It may not the best way to deter some annoying people. In my situation, it seemed to be the only way.

As an atheist, you know that everyone can believe in whatever they want. When they want to convince others to believe the same thing, they need to show evidence. This colleague didn't. I admit that had I been an atheist, perhaps I would have had a more rational discourse with him.

I sometimes don't understand myself. Listening to an atheist show never makes me upset. I guess my belief is indeed emotion based, not logic based. When I am challenged by logic, I don't get upset. When people use their faith to combat mine without me initiating it, I tend to lose my cool.

[khminh]

So you are letting a very small percentage of people out of the thousands you have encountered in your lifetime bother you this much. That seems kind of pointless.

I almost agree with everything you said until you say this. No offense. You are the privileged majority. You can lecture me all day about "a very small percentage of people out of the thousands I have encountered in my lifetime bother me this much", but what I said is still happening. It just happened with less frequency than before.

That's what you don't understand. Modern Christian's believe the New Testament is a new covenant with God. They no longer practice the customs of the Old Testament. Seriously they really don't.

In Matthew 19:16-22, according to Jesus, one only needs to follow 6 commandments to get to heaven. And yet many Christians want everyone to obey 10 commandments. They specifically talk about 10 commandments in Exodus 20. However, there are another set in Exodus 34.

Honestly, I'm not sarcastic with you. I'm really serious here. If your point is that I don't have to be afraid of Christians because they no longer follow the Old covenants, then why do they want to keep 10 commandment monument in school or governmental offices? And why is it the set in Exodus 20 and not Exodus 34? Isn't this pick and choose?

Too Much Information. Nobody cares what you do in your bedroom and nobody wants a reference to it.

Well, they don't want to know when they find out that I am not heterosexual. I didn't even bring up romance topic. I just answer the question people ask me "What did you do this valentine?" I thought they genuinely wanted to know about my love life, so I was honest with them. The moment they realized I was not talking about a woman, they acted like they never asked me that question.

Well, good for you. I'm sure you were very proud of yourself. OR you could have just politely disagreed and ended the conversation. You know two wrongs don't make a right. So be the bigger person.

My parents taught me when I should be proud of myself. I was not proud of doing that to him. I just wanted to shut him up for good.

I may not be a bigger person, and I am all right with that. If this is a Muslim, I would have done the same since I read the Koran too.

No. Nobody had the right to smear anyone.

Even using words for self defense is not all right, either? I was not the one who provoked my colleague with religion.

How about "Thank you for sharing your faith. I can tell it's very important to you. I like to know what's important to people. Would you like to hear about mine?" Or just politely say you're not interested in discussing religion and move on.

Maybe if you were my neighbor during the time I was visited by various sects of Christians, I would learn how to be tactful with my colleague.

I always allow patients get a pass because I am convinced that they need to express themselves for emotional healing. I am always willing to pray with patients, go to church with them, read the Bible for them when they ask me to do so.

With nurses and other people who are able bodied, I tend to place them in a higher standard. I guess I don't feel the need to be polite to them when they intentionally provoke me first. You can argue that they do so out of good will, but with my experience and values I inherit from my family and culture, it does feel like an attack because the doctrine in their faith is against (not just disagree) my values.

This is like you would be horrified when I tell you that my culture allows people to eat dogs. You would think that Vietnamese culture is barbaric, and you are actually not wrong. In Vietnam, people would eat any type of animals. My family don't since we practice Buddhist compassion.

I'm sure you would feel insulted if I tell you how delicious dog meat is and convince you to try it.

Just tell him you aren't interested and repeat it until he gets the message. No need to be rude.

I know what you mean. However, it is difficult to be firm on my ground, not to raise my tone, and still be nice to people. I always try to be diplomatic to certain point.