Do You Go To The Funeral?

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How many of you NICU or PICU nurse go to the funeral of a baby or child you have taken care of. I have gone to many over the years but I only went to one this year. I have been thinking of this alot this year for various reasons. In our unit we have had, what seemed like to me qiute a few deaths this year. Some of the babies I have took care of quite a bit. I knew death was coming so I said my good bye in the hospital. Most of the services I did not attend because the parents we very upset with the unit and I felt that my presence would be a reminder of the events that had taken place, so I just sent a card. In the past there have been parents that called the unit and ask me to come to the services and I have gone. I don't have a problem going to funerals, and have gone to many in my life time. I was jut wondering what other nurses in other NICU & PICU do.

Specializes in level 3 NICU.

i agree with you 100%!!!!

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Specializes in NICU Level III.

What Eric said.

I haven't been close enough to a family yet to go to a funeral, but if I were invited and were a primary or something for that kid, I'd go. My work is more than just being on the unit to me.

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Specializes in NICU, ER.

Hi I wanted to respond to this very important thread. I am a new nurse and I decided to choose to be a NICU rn after befriending several of the primary rn when my bestfriends baby was admitted to the NICU. She lived for 10 days and unfortunately with a diagnosis of trisomy 13 she would have been vent dependant/g-tube with no cognitive function, my friend decided to terminate resuscitative measures. 2 primary NICU rn attended the funeral and it meant so much to my friend her family and friends. My start date in the NICU is 1/5/08. God bless all that you do and remember that it means so much. All the best for '08. Holly

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Specializes in Level III NICU.

I have attended a few funerals of babies that I took care of a lot/primaried. One funeral for a baby in particular stands out in my mind. He lived for 15 days, I was working a ton that one summer and took care of him probably 11 or so of those nights. At his services, I remember thinking that out of all the people there, I probably spent the most time with him. I'm not saying that his family didn't matter anything like that at all, but it really meant a lot to me to be there. His family told me how much it meant to them for me to be there as well. It definitely helped give me closure.

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Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.
I have attended a few funerals of babies that I took care of a lot/primaried. One funeral for a baby in particular stands out in my mind. He lived for 15 days, I was working a ton that one summer and took care of him probably 11 or so of those nights. At his services, I remember thinking that out of all the people there, I probably spent the most time with him. I'm not saying that his family didn't matter anything like that at all, but it really meant a lot to me to be there. His family told me how much it meant to them for me to be there as well. It definitely helped give me closure.

Yea thats tough, no doubt, I love how people cant detach work from their private life and to be called uncaring or uncompasionate when you do so.

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Specializes in NICU III/Transport.

I've gotten pretty close with some families, but generally try not to. I know my emotional self, I don't primary and try to stay somewhat detached. I've never and don't plan on attending any funerals but give each and every patient 100% when I'm with them. Every once in a while, I cry at home.

I have to detach myself. I'm a very technical person. I'm appreciative of the "warm fuzzy" nurses as I just can't be like them. I think attending funerals of patients is strange... but I also understand that I think differently than other nurses.

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