Do nurses eat their young?

EwaAnn · Feb 6, 2015

I am so happy for you that you had a good experience. I did not. It was lateral violence at it's finest and it almost made me quit nursing before I even got started. I'm glad I didn't because now I'm in a supervisory position at the same hospital. It should not make you puke to hear people talk about a very real issue.

Some nurses get treated differently than others. Some nurses get treated nicely while others not so much.

24gaDalek · Feb 6, 2015

Let me preface my answer by giving some history. Nursing is a second life career for me (I am approaching 40) so I have been around the block a few times. I am also a veteran, having worked in a field that allowed allowed women to participate 6 months prior to my beginning training. Needless to say, I am no stranger to hazing rituals or to being made to feel unwanted.

I spent my first 18 months of being an RN in a unit that was the most toxic environment that I have ever worked in. I think back to my days in the military and the one thing I can appreciate about the relationships I had with the men I worked with, they had nothing on the subterfuge that women can expose someone to when they want to make them feel bad. At least the men I worked with would tell me to my face that I was screwing something up, and the worst of them had no trouble telling me to my face that they didn't like that I was there. Yes it was uncomfortable, but knowing where I stood with my coworkers was much better for me than the gossiping, backstabbing mess I had to put up with as a new nurse. I worked in a unit with pods, and there were some long 12 hour nights where the two other nurses I worked with would chat and talk quietly on the other side of the room, never trying to engage me in conversation. The first few times I needed assistance on doing something new I would have to beg the charge nurse or another resource nurse for help. Sometimes I got help, some times I didn't, but a lot of the time I got a ration of crap for asking in the first place. I was afraid to ask for help or ask questions after that. There was one particular charge nurse that used to brag to everyone about giving all the new people "sink or swim assignments." She would purposely set us up to see what we would do with an almost impossible assignment. If I made a mistake, everyone in the unit would know by the end of the night. I used to cry before going in to work and cry all the way home, terrified that I had missed something and would be subjected to more whispering behind my back. Conversations would stop in the break room when I came in. I started at the same time as two other new nurses as part of a new grad residency program, and they both felt the same as me...unwanted. I was technically on probation for 12 months until I graduated the residency program, so I was afraid to make waves until I was sure I had a job. Consequently, I have never met a group of nurses who were better at their jobs. The skill set and knowledge they possessed was awe-inspiring. I can say that skill wise I learned much during my 18 months of hell because thankfully, a couple of senior nurses took me under their wings about four months in, and some of the bullying eased up on me. In addition, I took it upon myself to make learning solely my responsibility, and I began asking for tougher and tougher assignments so I could practice my skills. The two other people I started with were not as lucky.

There were many times during those 18 months of hell that I wanted to quit. If I didn't have student loans to pay off, I probably would have. I felt bad complaining to my friends because I was the first one in my class to be hired, and many of them struggled for months to even get an interview. My home life suffered because I was constantly stressed out. I used to cry on the way to work, and then cry on the way home because the idea of spending 12 hours with the most vicious people I have ever worked with instead of spending that time with my family and friends was gut-wrenching.

Of my three friends that started at the same time, none of us are in that unit anymore. After I passed my year probation, I began speaking out about the bullying that I saw. I reported an occurrence to management once. They informed the person that I had reported, and she was nasty to me after that. That was when I began looking for a new job.

Now, my experience in my new unit has been different. I can't say if it is because I am no longer considered a newbee, or because the hospital itself is a much better place to work. My husband commented a couple of months ago that when I come home from work I didn't have the lines of stress etched into my face anymore. I can see the years stretching ahead of me, and I am excited for the future again.

I think someone else's point about work environment is huge when it comes to NETY. If you have nurses that are secure in their jobs, get paid well, and have a good work life balance It seems like that environment is more conducive to a team environment, as opposed to every man for himself. Having good, supportive management is also key. The DON of my old unit was well aware of the toxic environment and chose to give a power point about it at a meeting once. Her take: Unhappiness comes from within. so don't come to work unhappy and our environment will be happier. Yeah. I almost wanted to start laughing maniacally at that point.

My experience made me a better nurse. But the cost was 18 months of my life destroyed.

emtb2rn, BSN, RN, EMT-B · Feb 6, 2015

Hey Chitown, remember this one ?

Suck it up cupcake.

trepeace · Feb 6, 2015

I've experienced it and I am going through it now in fact. There is no support.

Anna S, RN · Feb 6, 2015

My very best friends are nurses- and the worst, most treacherous people I've ever met in my life are nurses.

Nursing attracts both the best and the worst.

stepwintention · Feb 6, 2015

Nursing is a second career for me. What amazes me is the lack of feedback we get as new grads as well. I came from a corporate environment where after projects or jobs, we broke down what went well and what went wrong so we can build on it and learn from our experiences. One would think that new grads would have that experience after precepting so they can continue to build while they get experience. I work shifts wanting to get some kind of feedback, as I do ask for it an receive it on occasion, but it seems odd to me that this is standard in many corporate environments but not one where people's lives are at stake unless it is after an event. What I hear is that no news is good news. I can't tell you how much this bothers me. Along with all the drama that goes along with bullying, there is more than one factor that prevents new grads from excelling.

kbrn2002, ADN, RN · Feb 6, 2015

I've experienced it and I am going through it now in fact. There is no support.

I am so sorry. I'd say find another job, but I know that's not always the most realistic solution. Hope it gets better or you are able to find somewhere better soon.

kbrn2002, ADN, RN · Feb 6, 2015

Nursing is a second career for me. What amazes me is the lack of feedback we get as new grads as well. I came from a corporate environment where after projects or jobs, we broke down what went well and what went wrong so we can build on it and learn from our experiences. One would think that new grads would have that experience after precepting so they can continue to build while they get experience. I work shifts wanting to get some kind of feedback, as I do ask for it an receive it on occasion, but it seems odd to me that this is standard in many corporate environments but not one where people's lives are at stake unless it is after an event. What I hear is that no news is good news. I can't tell you how much this bothers me. Along with all the drama that goes along with bullying, there is more than one factor that prevents new grads from excelling.

You are exactly right..no news is good news. I rarely hear "good job" from management, none of us do so we all support each other in this and acknowledge a job well done to each other. If on the other hand something is done wrong you bet your booty we are made aware! Followed by "education" inservices to sign so the whole building knows somebody screwed up and eventually the grapevine kicks in and pretty soon everybody knows who.

EwaAnn · Feb 6, 2015

You are exactly right..no news is good news. I rarely hear "good job" from management, none of us do so we all support each other in this and acknowledge a job well done to each other. If on the other hand something is done wrong you bet your booty we are made aware! Followed by "education" inservices to sign so the whole building knows somebody screwed up and eventually the grapevine kicks in and pretty soon everybody knows who.

Ain't that the truth.

subee, MSN, CRNA · Feb 7, 2015

For the OP : Meditate on the differencenter between being aggressive and being assertive. Then go out and be assertive. Concentrate on defusing

the situation before you extract yourself. Never talk about anyone behind the back. There shouldn't be a need to do that if you speak kindly but firmly, to the face. It's too bad that the social skills are so much harder than the nursing skillset, but theyes apply to all aspects of your life. I wish hospitals would provide more training for staff to the end of supportive work environments. It would be a total wIn-win.

icuRNmaggie, BSN, RN · Feb 7, 2015

Last week, I witnessed some brutal abuse of a travel nurse who had just come to the North East from 1000 miles away to help us out. Her coworkers put patients at risk and then reported her for a lot of exaggerated nonsense. She was almost in tears when she gave me report and said no one would help me.

I let management know that this very intelligent and highly experienced nurse is an asset and deserved a lot of credit for stabilizing a very sick patient.

I provided the details of how she was being mistreated.

As someone said previously, nursing attracts the best and the worst. There are some very angry people in this business who focus their anger on an easy target such as an orientee or temporary worker. Their issues run deep and can poison an entire unit. I can ignore rudeness or poor social skills. I can not ignore a deliberate campaign that puts patients and a fellow nurse's career at risk.

In order to stop this appalling behavior, we need to identify and report it when it happens.

It is a patient safety issue that can not be ignored. Wouldn't you want someone to do the same for you?

icuRNmaggie, BSN, RN · Feb 7, 2015

I am annoyed when I hear the terms bullying and lateral violence. Bullying is a juvenile expression and a often matter of perception. Lateral violence is just a vague and fancy label that diminishes the seriousness of really ugly, cruel behavior.

Bad manners, petty gossip, perceived rudeness during handoff are part of the job and a part of any career. Set limits on it and it will stop, one person at a time.

When an employee who is powerless has to contend with hostility, slander and a lack of support to the point that it disrupts patient safety, that is abuse.

The only way to stop it is to be fierce advocates for our patients and each other.