Do Nurses Eat Their Young?

Nurses Relations

Published

We have all heard the saying "Nurses eat their young". Do you feel this is true?

Please feel free to read and post any comments that you have right here in this discussion

Thanks.

This article sums it up for me... ?

http://www.dcardillo.com/articles/eatyoung.html

Quote
This vile expression implies that experienced nurses do not treat new nurses kindly. My first problem with the statement is that it’s a generalization implying that all nurses are like that. Interestingly, whenever I hear someone utter the expression, I always say, “I don’t do that. Do you?” The person making the statement always says, “Oh no, I don’t, but many others do.” I’ve never heard even one nurse own up to doing this, although some nurses are willing to indict the entire profession. Every time that statement is repeated, it causes harm and casts a dark shadow on every nurse. Say anything enough, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Please note that by moderator consensus some of the "Nurses Eat Their Young" posts will be referred to this thread where there can be an ongoing discussion, rather than several threads saying the same thing.

To students and new grads that are having problems with nurses, please take a moment to read the above link. Is it really the entire profession, every single nurse, or do you need help with one or a few nurses? We will be glad to help you in dealing with those people, but let bury the phrase "Nurses Eat Their Young".

To experienced nurses who claim our profession eats it's young, please take a moment to read it as well and think about it. Also take time to teach, be friendly and nurturing to the new nurse and students on your unit.

Originally posted by leighann757

to catlady,

There are a few good nurses out there that will be a mentor to new nurses but they are few and far between.

LeighAnn, I am sorry you have had experience that causes you to feel that way. When I started out as a new nurse (still am, just 10 months!) I was nurtured and supported. I still am actually, although now things are a little different as I know people a little better and am aware of problems between staff members. But that is a personality issue, not a nurse eating young issue.

I don't think supportive, nurturing nurses are few and far between at all. I DO believe that our profession is a little different than most as lives can depend on our actions, and our mistakes must be pointed out. But I can't think of a mistake I have made that, if I didn't pick up on it, was pointed out to me in anything but a constructive way.

Maybe I am just lucky and most hospitals aren't like this?

Oh wait!! I did work in a dr's office for about a MONTH and left there because the nurses were SO nasty that I was miserable from day one. I blame that on the doc though, cause he didn't tell the other nurses I was going to be there until I showed up!

Originally posted by Stargazer

Ooh, fergus--details, please!!

Does this mean that you are as mean as I am if you would have enjoyed it? :) I have always had a BIG mouth and it has gotten me into trouble more than once.

I just stepped in and let an older nurse who was bullying a younger nurse know exactly where she could stick it and pointed out what a bitter old has-been she had become. I got mean and pointed out specific examples of her incompetence (quite loudly and in front of another nurse) and the fact that she was obviously attacking this young nurse because she was so insecure (and rightfully so because I wouldn't let her care for my dog if she went into labor). I then used some language that I can't share with you all here. Then another nurse joined in with some less than kind words.

This is the short version (the long version would take me bout 15 minutes to type and a lot of it would be bleeped out). The hag then burst into tears and left the unit, and so it was decided I had to take her patients because I was the one who scared her off. I was VERY busy after that, but I didn't miss her a bit and the new grad helped me because she was very grateful, but she started crying too when she was thanking me. It was quite the awkward moment. I feel kind of bad about making the hag cry, but at the same time, I think that nurse should've retired a long time before because she makes everyone miserable and I am not putting up with that type of bs at work. EVER.

NURSES DO EAT THEIR YOUNG CATWOMAN IS EITHER A PLANT TO ILLICIT A REPSONSE, OR OUT OF TOUCH. AND IF SHE IS A NURSE A REMINDER TO HER THAT NURSES ***NURSE/NURTURE*** PEOPLE. IT IS THE NATURE OF THE JOB. AND YES, THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT COME WITH THE JOB OF BEING A NURTURER.... I AM NEW TO MEDICAL-SURGICAL NURSING AND I MUST SAY THAT I AM SHOCKED AT THE NUMBER OF NURSES WHO SAY THEY REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BE "NEW AT THIS" BUT BEHAVE LIKE DEMONS WHEN DEALING WITH US NEWBIES. I AM NOT NEW TO THE NURSING FIELD BUT I AM NEW TO ACUTE CARE. AND I WILL SHARE THAT I ALMOST LOST MY RELIGION, SO TO SPEAK, IN THE PAST FEW WEEKS C/O HOW I RESPONDSED WITHIN TO COMMENTS MADE AND THE "TONE OF VOICE" OF SOME OF MY CO-WORKERS. AND I AM A PERSON WHO IS NOT EASILY PUT OUT OF SORTS. AT LEAST NOT BEFORE I TOOK THIS JOB.... I HAVE BEEN PAYING DEARLY, AT THE COST OF MY SPIRIT, IN EXCHANGE FOR THE KNOWLEDGE I DESIRE....KUDOS TO THE THE MALE NURSE WHO SPOKE UP ABOUT DISCRIMINATION (I TRY TO KEEP OUR GROUP AWARE WHEN I HEAR COMMENTS AGAINST MEN). YES, I HAVE SPOKEN UP TO SOME STAFF MEMBERS WHO HAVE BEEN NASTY TO ME, AND IN A KIND BUT EFFECTIVE MANNER. I BELIEVE WE ARE ALL ADULT ENOUGH TO CHOOSE OUR METHODS OF COMMMUNICATION. BUT IT GETS TIRING AFTER AWHILE AND I'D RATHER PUT MY ENERGY INTO PATIENT CARE. SO NOW, I TOO, HAVE CHOSEN THE SURVIVAL ROUTE, IN A WAY. ... I WAS ACTUALLY SURPRISED TO HEAR ABOUT THE NEW NURSES THAT LEFT THEIR JOBS AS A RESULT THEIR EXPERIENCES OF BEING EATEN ALIVE. ....I DON'T KNOW WHY I THOUGHT I WAS THE 'ONLY ONE' WHO HAD THOUGHT ABOUT QUITTING (WAS I KIDDING?)AND I AM, HISTORICALLY NOT A QUITTER. BUT I FINALLY WENT FROM ASKING MYSELF WHY I FELT THAT WAY TO SIMPLY STATING OUT LOUD, IN PRIVATE, THAT I HATE MY JOB AND FINALLY ACCEPTING IT...BUT REALLY, WHAT IT IS, IS THAT I REALLY JUST WANT MORE KNOWLEDGE, THE NIGHTS ARE LONG [12 + HOURS], WE ARE UNDER STAFFED IN A SMALL TOWN FACILITY, AND SOME OF OUR NURSES DON'T SEEMS TO REALIZE THAT THEY'LL GET MORE MILEAGE OUT US LESS SEASONED RN'S IF THEY DON'T VERBALLY ATTACK WHEN WE ARE IN OUR 13TH HOUR OF WORK. I MEAN DOES PATIENT CARE NOT COME BEFORE CONCLUDING OUR PAPERWORK? ESPECIALLY DURING THOSE LAST FEW HOUR'S OF MURPHY'S LAW EVENTS AND EMERGENCIES THAT SEEM TO COME IN THREES LIKE A DOMINO EFFECT? IS IT A CRIME THAT SOME OF US HELP EACH OTHER IN THAT LAST HOUR WHEN A CONFUSED 300 POUND PATIENT DECIDES TO GO FOR A WALK WITH THEIR IMAGINARY FRIEND, NOT UNDERSTANDING THAT THEY JUST HAD SOME SORT OF RLE SURGERY AND THEIR MORPHINE JUST KICKED IN? THEN WONDERS HOW THEY WOUND UP ON THEIR KNEES ON THE FLOOR? IN SPITE OF ALL LEGAL PREVENTATIVE MEASURES TAKEN. AND ALL OF THIS AFTER ANOTHER SERIES OF MURPHY'S LAW EVENTS HAD JUST TAKEN PLACE.....AND WHAT DO YOU ALL THINK OF THIS? I ACTUALLY HAD A NURSE WHO FORGOT TO GET HER PATIENT'S SURGERY CONSENTS SIGNED A WEEK BEFORE, LOUDLY STATE THAT I SHOULD HAVE ETC. ETC. WRITTEN DOWN WHEN I HAD AN INSULIN NEEDLE IN MY HAND ON MY WAY TO A ROOM. WHAT HAD I DONE WHEN I DISCOVERED HER MISTAKE? I GOT THOSE PAPERS SIGNED AND MENTIONED IN REPORT WHERE THE NEXT SHIFT COULD FIND THEM. PERIOD. AND THAT NURSE, WHEN SHE ARRIVED JUST LAUGHED AT HER FORGETFULNESS AND THEN ATTEMPTED TO EXPLAIN IT AWAY....LISTEN, THOSE OF US THAT ULTIMATELY BELONG IN A DIFFERENT AREA OF NURSING WILL GO THERE AFTER WE HONE IN ON OUR SKILLS AND THOSE OF US THAT DO NOT BELONG IN NURSING AT ALL WILL LEAVE ALTOGETHER, SO DON'T WORRY. BUT IN THE MEAN TIME, FOR THOSE OF US WHO ARE NOT PUTTING OUR PATIENTS IN DANGER BUT RATHER STILL LEARNING, PLEASE BACK UP YOUR CLAIMS ABOUT HOW YOU REMEMBER HOW IT WAS, AND HOW LONG IT TAKES TO FEEL AND BE PROFICIENT. THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN A NOVICE AND AN EXPERT ARE HUGE AND WORTH RESEARCHING. AND HOW MANY OF OUR SHORT STAFFED PLACES CAN AFFORD TO LOSE NURSES ON THE RISE?.....MY SOLUTION, FOR NOW, IS NOT TO QUIT BUT TO CUT BACK ON HOW MANY TIMES A WEEK I AM AT THE HOSPITAL - AND TO RETURN TO MINISTERING TO PEOPLE IN A WAY THAT HONORS **MY** BELIEF SYSTEM. THAT WAY, I WON'T HAVE TO START FROM SCRATCH TO RECLAIM MY INNER CALM. AND PERHAPS WITH THAT, I WILL BE BETTER FOR MY PATIENTS AND HAVE MORE STRENGTH TO DEAL WITH PERSONALITIES THAT ARE, FRANKLY, QUITE UNBELIEVABLE RE: THEIR BEHAVIOR, DEMEANOR OR MANNER OF COMMUNICATION. AND MY PROMISE TO ALL OF THE MEAN-SPIRITED PEOPLE OUT THERE: WHEN MY YEAR OR SO OF MED-SURG EXPERIENCE IS UP, BARRING SOME EXTRAORDINARY OPPORTUNITY THAT MAY PRESENT ITSELF BEFORE THEN, I WILL BE OFF TO AN AREA OF INTEREST THAT IS MORE IN ALIGNMENT WITH MY TRUE NATURE....UNTIL THEN, BE PROFFESSIONAL IN HOW YOU DEAL WITH NEWER NURSES OR MANY OF YOU MAY FIND YOUR WORKLOAD GROWING DUE, IN PART, YOU YOUR OWN CONTRIBUTIONS OF ATTITUDE.

:kiss SENDING A BIT OF TOUGH LOVE, BLESSINGS AND MAY GOODNESS PREVAIL

Specializes in ORTHOPAEDICS-CERTIFIED SINCE 89.

Welcome Angel. Please no caps...terribly hard to read.

Is it a requirement that you stay in med-surg that you obviously dislike? I wish you well.

welcome angel

P-RN-----you remind me of a brother that I love dearly that tried to tell me about how to communicate in computer land.....like CAPS are only used is trying to make a point of angry, etc.......gee, whiz.........wish I was a computer whiz like he.......but he grad'e-ated before me.....in 1970.....got all the good genes.....

sad to say, nurses we do eat our young and each other.........no, not all, but then again......why is this.......

it is not a formal, rite of passage thing as sounds almost grand(discussed with a friend of mine),

instead it is a mean, cruelness or maybe not.........maybe it is just so many tired, overworked, stressed out people dealing with the worst of the worst of the human condition day in and day out.......that they have lost their way.........

if I ever become that jaded..............

but I won't or I do not think........

as I got kicked in the teeth so hard again today.........

micro,

p.s. sometimes life is just too hard, but thank goodness for the dawn and good friends..........

I have just come from one of the worsst units in my whole career. I did figure out in the 13 weeks I have been there that the nurse manager was a big player in nurturing this behavior. In the last 10 years this behavior has increased 10 fold. I don't know about the nursing schools you went to but it seemed to me that the behavior started with many of the nursing instructors . Most nurses I have spoke with through the years have many horror stories of nursing school. I can not understand why nurses have no respect for each other. In this place that I just finished an assignment You would be trying to give your report and the b--ch would be interupting with an attitude from hell. I always wondered how this person must have been raised. truly though I really believe that we need to start at the beginning and stop allowing the degrading behaviors of instructors in nursing school and not allowing this behavior on our units. I worked for a hospital in Cincinnati Ohio that did just that and they do not have the turnover in nurses that most places have now. The administrators and nurse managers got to gether and decided by going over the exit interviews that the #1 reason given for leaving was the way the nurse had been treated by her peer. They then introduced it to the administration and there is now a zero tolerance policy. they were only short for about a month as they fired the nurses that did not follow the new policy . As of today there are no need for agency or travelers because the nurses that are hired stay. This is what nursing needs to do everywhere. We need to say no more. Poor treatment of each other will not be tolerated.

Susy,

Tooo short for you. Come on Susy, you can do better.

When we see a new nurse(young or old) being treated poorly, it is up to us to say something!!!!! It will stop, if we make it stop!!! We can not afford to turn our backs on new staff. Don't let it pass.

The fact is, it is never approiate to take a strip off another person, even if they deserve it. There is a way to point out errors or rules, and it does not involve reticuling, yelling, embarassing, or sneering. Calmly point out what is wrong, what can be done about it. Reassure the orientee that everyone needs to learn, and everyone blows it once in a while.

As stated earlier, other professions deter people from entering the work arena in that respective profession. Other professions do not dwell on this phenomena. Instead of dwelling on this issue and doing nothing to resolve it, we should direct our energy in ways to help the profession, recruiting and mentoring new nurses. We need to stick together. Not only will this facillitate the growth of the profession, it will also improve our job satisfaction.

Originally posted by lever5

The fact is, it is never approiate to take a strip off another person, even if they deserve it. There is a way to point out errors or rules, and it does not involve reticuling, yelling, embarassing, or sneering. Calmly point out what is wrong, what can be done about it. Reassure the orientee that everyone needs to learn, and everyone blows it once in a while.

Uh huh. Doesn't get the same results with my young eater though. Tearing off a strip is what worked with her because she was so think skinned. New nurses on the other hand are so sensitive you hardly even have to look at them for them to get the message that they did something very wrong.

I never heard this 'eating young' term til about 10 years ago and as I have said before, much of it seems a reflection of our new nurses need to be excessively catered to, and their displeasure /disappointment that they are not.....

There are indeed bullies everywhere, all walks of life, all careers. There are also nice folks everywhere. I choose to seek them out and refuse to be a victim. My nursing school prepared me to enter the 'real world' and IME many new grads today did not receive any helpful prep for the transition...which is unfortunate.

Nursing is a tough, demanding field. Look to yourself first if you feel 'eaten alive' on your unit. Talk to a trusted older colleague and get to the bottom of the problem... start with yourself first. Maybe you're in with a bad group...it happens...so consider going elsewhere. Take control. Maybe you're too needy and frustrating the overworked staff....maybe they don't see you as a team player....be open to the feedback you get...you may need to do some off duty researching and reading...ask a coworker for suggestions. Maybe you need to go to medsurg and learn organization and basic skills. (I still feel all new grads need this medsurg experience!)

I haven't liked every group of nurses I've worked with either, but that's life, and the world does not revolve around one person......

am I 'mean and ugly' to new nurses? NO. Do I expect them to be adults, to act maturely, take responsibility for their learning and accept constructive criticism and suggestion when necessary? YES. If THAT is 'eating my young' then guess I'm guilty as are most experienced nurses...but it is an unfair label, IMO.

As far as the exit interview fingerpointing staff nurses--I think that's just another attempt to blame nurses for everything that goes wrong in a facility.....hospitals do this so well. I hope they are looking at their end of things...are they staffing adequately to ALLOW proper internship of new nurses? Or are new grads just one more drain on an exhausted, understaffed unit?

Whew..I feel better now..sorry so long! :) I'm hungry now but my preference is a bagel with cream cheese. ;)

Originally posted by Teshiee

CANNABALISTIC PROFESSION. I NEVER HEARD OF MD'S EATING EACH OTHER IF ANYTHING THEY HAVE EACH OTHER'S BACK.

If you never heard of MD's trying to ripe each other, you're lucky!!

Surgeons are the worst. :devil:

Nursing: cannibalistic profession? Some say it's because it's a women's world (sorry guys!). All this progress over the years didn't make us stop speak behind each others back. I wish "a women's world" didn't meant that ... but ask anyone, not just nurses, and they'll all tell you it means *****y and hypocrite.

Now that we changed the way the world sees women, maybe it's time we changed some of our attitudes. Sometimes, it really sucks, girls. :stone

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