This vile expression implies that experienced nurses do not treat new nurses kindly. My first problem with the statement is that it’s a generalization implying that all nurses are like that. Interestingly, whenever I hear someone utter the expression, I always say, “I don’t do that. Do you?” The person making the statement always says, “Oh no, I don’t, but many others do.” I’ve never heard even one nurse own up to doing this, although some nurses are willing to indict the entire profession. Every time that statement is repeated, it causes harm and casts a dark shadow on every nurse. Say anything enough, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Please note that by moderator consensus some of the "Nurses Eat Their Young" posts will be referred to this thread where there can be an ongoing discussion, rather than several threads saying the same thing.
To students and new grads that are having problems with nurses, please take a moment to read the above link. Is it really the entire profession, every single nurse, or do you need help with one or a few nurses? We will be glad to help you in dealing with those people, but let bury the phrase "Nurses Eat Their Young".
To experienced nurses who claim our profession eats it's young, please take a moment to read it as well and think about it. Also take time to teach, be friendly and nurturing to the new nurse and students on your unit.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
first off, i still do not believe in nurse eating their young. but as a curiosity lets hear from experienced nurses about some of the young who tried eat their preceptors, or guides, or clinical coaches , or their more experienced co workers. whatever terminology you prefer.
i remember this one young male student. very full of himself. he would not listen to instruction, he would not ask for advice, had a terrible attitude to get along with.. within a couple of months he dug himself a hole, that he could not get out of. he put himself in a position, though several tried to help him. he ended up leaving.
so lets talk about difficult newbies for a change. i have not heard of anyone bringing this up.
i'd love to talk about difficult newbies -- i've got more than a few stories i could share. but not in this thread.
if you're just venting, i apologize in advance. i'm going to treat this as if you're genuinely puzzled by what happened and are looking for feedback or advice.
yes, you can ask questions during orientation -- presumably you have much to learn, if not about how to be a nurse in general, you'll still have to learn how things work on your specific unit. but as a preceptor, i'm looking for questions that show progress. in other words, are you asking questions that are showing a greater depth of understanding of disease processes and unit protocols? or are you asking the same questions over and over, questions that should have been asked and answered during your first week of orientation? if the questions that you're asking are about things you should have become completely familiarized with over the course of your orientation up to this point, your preceptor is right to question whether this job is a good fit for you or whether you need more orientation.
at this point, take the time to really think about the answers both to the questions you asked and to the questions i posed. if you sincerely believe this job is the right fit for you and that the questions you asked your preceptor reflect growth rather than stagnation, maybe it's time to have a candid talk with the preceptor about her expectations of you and where exactly you're falling short.
one more thing -- or maybe it's two. some preceptors have a hard time articulating negative feedback. nice people want to say nice things to you, and perhaps she's been trying (and failing) to tell you all along that you need to grow in some way. it may be that she hasn't learned to give negative feedback. or it may be that you haven't learned to hear it. it's extremely common for women of my generation to take negative feedback to heart and gloss over positive feedback as "just what's expected." consequently, i try really hard to give my orientees enough positive feedback that some of it has to stick while not dwelling on the negative nearly as much. it seems to me to be that the current generation is the opposite: they gloss over negative feedback and take only the positive to heart. take some time to think about how you perceive feedback as well. it will help you in the future.
good luck -- it's my intention to help you figure things out.
i was just venting and fustrated but i really liked your response. most questions have to do with unit protocols and figuring out which phone number to call for weekend answering services, etc. i am ok with disease processes and patho. weekends are kinda different in that you don't quite know where to pull resources sometimes.:wink2: i do actually realize this job is not right for me, i think i am burnt out on the med-surg thing and want to try something new. i greatly appreciate your feedback, and you had a very nice way of putting it. no offense taken at all.:)
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
i was just venting and fustrated but i really liked your response. most questions have to do with unit protocols and figuring out which phone number to call for weekend answering services, etc. i am ok with disease processes and patho. weekends are kinda different in that you don't quite know where to pull resources sometimes.:wink2: i do actually realize this job is not right for me, i think i am burnt out on the med-surg thing and want to try something new. i greatly appreciate your feedback, and you had a very nice way of putting it. no offense taken at all.:)
i'm really glad you found my post helpful and even more glad i didn't offend you!
Specializes in med surg, geriatric, clinical, pool.
I've seen this happen too while in school. Students go through some very difficult and unreasonable professors. I was told that sometimes professors are hard on their students to try to get rid off the weakest link.
Yeep, it happened to me in nursing school too. I had the head of nursing call on me 8 times the first time we met in class, so I don't know what her problem was with me. I flunked out by .3 of one point, & when I got my test back I noticed where some answers had been erased, her explaination, "we can't all be astronauts." Huh? she said some other things too like "I don't trust you giving out meds." She had never seen me give out meds. She wanted to break me down, she didn't. She does need to learn how to treat people though. I was in my early 30's so she wasn't dealing with a kid out of school.
Specializes in telemetry, med-surg, home health, psych.
Yeep, it happened to me in nursing school too. I had the head of nursing call on me 8 times the first time we met in class, so I don't know what her problem was with me. I flunked out by .3 of one point, & when I got my test back I noticed where some answers had been erased, her explaination, "we can't all be astronauts." Huh? she said some other things too like "I don't trust you giving out meds." She had never seen me give out meds. She wanted to break me down, she didn't. She does need to learn how to treat people though. I was in my early 30's so she wasn't dealing with a kid out of school.
What goes around comes around.
I'll never forget, many years ago, one clinical instructor told me NOT to come back to our meeting after clinicals like we usually did....
well, I finished my pt. care and decided to go back anyway...I was outside the door and heard her berating the other poor students so horrible that it made me cringe...Why she did not want to get down on me, I'll never know, but believe me, I wasn't any better than the 5 other students.....
I think they just like to pick a few out for whatever reason and lash out at them because it happened to them......vicious cycle.....
(needless to say, I left and didn't go in to the meeting) gals came out in tears.......
I'll never forget, many years ago, one clinical instructor told me NOT to come back to our meeting after clinicals like we usually did....
well, I finished my pt. care and decided to go back anyway...I was outside the door and heard her berating the other poor students so horrible that it made me cringe...Why she did not want to get down on me, I'll never know, but believe me, I wasn't any better than the 5 other students.....
I think they just like to pick a few out for whatever reason and lash out at them because it happened to them......vicious cycle.....
(needless to say, I left and didn't go in to the meeting) gals came out in tears.......
:crying2:And they wonder why there is a nursing shortage?????????
Nurse can be extremely RUDE, VILE, INCONSIDERATE, and downright MEAN.
My guess is that my conflicts with some nurses has been my diligence and exactitude in nursing. For example, one nurse (angry that I requested a medication that she would need to administer) threw an unlabeled syringe at me and yelled, “You do it!”Another time, a nurse was angry that I would not move forward on administering my pain med when I found the syringe to be half-full.
However, when it is the nursing staff that complains to the board on a nurse, does it not require the subsequent question: what type of sadist so engages in that act? To impugn the license of a nurse who does not have any substance-related, medical-related, psychological-related issues and who has not administered medications or killed or harmed anyone is certainly an atrocity.
Yet, this happens ALL the time. I knew another nurse working at a facility who jumped the boat expeditiously knowing about the sadistic nature of the people involved (and thus, averted the possibility of reproach). Another nurse was not so well-received. She lost her license and lost her right to work in ANY federally funded business of any type.
Did it serve the purposes of the blood-thirsty group? (Btw, that nurse has several chronic medical problems that did not impede her work, but now she has neither job nor license nor medical insurance.)
Specializes in med surg, geriatric, clinical, pool.
:crying2:And they wonder why there is a nursing shortage?????????
I did quit nursing. I miss it so much, but I didn't quit because things did not go my way. I had to take a leave to take care of my sister, she was in a bad car accident and then my dad got worse. He was diagnosed with cancer and he became confused too. So I stayed out of nursing and when I did try to go back things just weren't the same. I was terrible at it, everything. And then I had such bad experiences with 2 new jobs. Not anything I did though. But they were so bad I told my husband "someone's going to die and its not going to be because of something I did, but because of the nurses I followed from the prior shift" such as being put into dangerous positions, & having to work two floors, which is against the law. I did call the DON when I got to work, and she said "wing it". That's not good enough for me I am an LPN. I should have turned her in. I know she didn't stay there.
I read about these girls who are so happy they just passed their test. I just think, you just don't know!
I always wanted to be a nurse. After I graduated from high school I couldn't get into nursing because I have epilepsy and back then there was discrimination. But later I managed to get through it all with 2 kids and a husband which were all so proud of me. Now I help my husband in his business which is not going so well d/t the economy.
I did quit nursing. I miss it so much, but I didn't quit because things did not go my way. I had to take a leave to take care of my sister, she was in a bad car accident and then my dad got worse. He was diagnosed with cancer and he became confused too. So I stayed out of nursing and when I did try to go back things just weren't the same. I was terrible at it, everything. And then I had such bad experiences with 2 new jobs. Not anything I did though. But they were so bad I told my husband "someone's going to die and its not going to be because of something I did, but because of the nurses I followed from the prior shift" such as being put into dangerous positions, & having to work two floors, which is against the law. I did call the DON when I got to work, and she said "wing it". That's not good enough for me I am an LPN. I should have turned her in. I know she didn't stay there.
I read about these girls who are so happy they just passed their test. I just think, you just don't know!
I always wanted to be a nurse. After I graduated from high school I couldn't get into nursing because I have epilepsy and back then there was discrimination. But later I managed to get through it all with 2 kids and a husband which were all so proud of me. Now I help my husband in his business which is not going so well d/t the economy.
Well anyway...so it goes.
Sorry to hear that. Are you considering coming back to nursing?
Sorry to hear that. Are you considering coming back to nursing?
Ruby Vee, BSN
17 Articles; 14,053 Posts
i'd love to talk about difficult newbies -- i've got more than a few stories i could share. but not in this thread.