This vile expression implies that experienced nurses do not treat new nurses kindly. My first problem with the statement is that it’s a generalization implying that all nurses are like that. Interestingly, whenever I hear someone utter the expression, I always say, “I don’t do that. Do you?” The person making the statement always says, “Oh no, I don’t, but many others do.” I’ve never heard even one nurse own up to doing this, although some nurses are willing to indict the entire profession. Every time that statement is repeated, it causes harm and casts a dark shadow on every nurse. Say anything enough, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Please note that by moderator consensus some of the "Nurses Eat Their Young" posts will be referred to this thread where there can be an ongoing discussion, rather than several threads saying the same thing.
To students and new grads that are having problems with nurses, please take a moment to read the above link. Is it really the entire profession, every single nurse, or do you need help with one or a few nurses? We will be glad to help you in dealing with those people, but let bury the phrase "Nurses Eat Their Young".
To experienced nurses who claim our profession eats it's young, please take a moment to read it as well and think about it. Also take time to teach, be friendly and nurturing to the new nurse and students on your unit.
Until tonight, my preceptor had been telling me what a great job I've been doing.
Don't forget this. Often new grads take one moment in time, get all bent out of shape over one bad moment a preceptor has, one misunderstanding, or one stressed out moment and run with it. Preceptors are human too.
God knows I have my moments. Friday at the end of a crazy week a float tech came to me, "what are you doing with me at 3:00?"....me "I don't know yet, I haven't got final". Tech: "Am I floating somewhere else?", Me: "I don't know yet, I haven't got final staffing yet.". Tech: "Am I going back to my unit?" Me. "I don't know yet." Tech: "Am I staying here?" Me: I ripped him apart "I DON"T KNOW YET". Of course, when I found out later I had to apologize. sigh.
As a new grad still orienting I was just ripped apart for asking questions.
That's unacceptable that you were "ripped apart". If this is true, (and not an exaggeration, which people tend to do. No offense, but I've heard people say "did you see the way she yelled at me, or "ripped me a new one?" when that really wasn't the case at all) what did you do about it?
You have the power right now to stop this kind of behavior. You can send the message that being "ripped apart" will not be tolerated, that you expect your questions answered, and that you expect to be treated professionally.
This kind of behavior is wrong. It's good to vent about it, but what's the next thing you're going to do?
Perhaps before your next shift starts, "can we talk about about last shift. My perception is that you ripped me apart because I asked too many questions. Is this what you meant?" You might be pleasantly surprised that she didn't mean to rip you apart, she'll apologize, and she'll get the message "this is one nurse not ripe for the eating" and word will get around.
Thanks for the responses. Makes me feel a little better. We have some new doctors at our facility and in our phone list for the doctors we have 2 numbers for their answering service. Well, the phone numbers were not working and I knew the other nurses were getting through, so I asked where I could find another number. ( I asked the HUC first, who did not know either ) I also asked to be shown how to work the facilities Sure-Trans to reinfuse my post-total knees blood ( I had never seen one like this ). I had a patient who was a direct admit and I asked preceptor if she would look over my paperwork to double check if I had done everything.
Then I had 2 patients who fairly close to the same time were not doing very well. One was short of breath, complaining of chest pain,and diaphoretic. The other ( CNA came to tell me while I was giving nitro to the first ) was not responding to verbal stimuli ( was AxOx3 before ) and had a blood pressure of 200/115 manually. So silly me asked my preceptor if she could look in on patient #2 while I continues to deal with my chest pain who was now turning bluish and while I was waiting on the doctor to call back to give orders for him. ( I see staff nurses helping each other all the time like this in these situations ) My preceptor said no, I needed to learn to prioritize ( if alone I would have no choice but to finish with the chest pain first , but for the patients sake I asked for help because it was in the patients best intrest ) that I would not make it as a nurse if I could not do that. So I finished up with the chest pain and went to assess the second patient who had had a stroke. My preceptor and I spoke for nearly 45 minutes after work about my " asking for help". Of course I have been thinking all night about what I could have done differently to have gotten to the stroke patient quicker and have not been able to think of one yet. The stroke patient had come in for pancreatitis. I did not go there and leave my chest pain because patient 2 was breathing and the first was not breathing well.
Was I wrong? I was told , " I am not cut out for nursing ". I had been a lab tech for 7 years, a CNA for 3 years, and a hospital med-surg LPN for 5 years. I've always gotten great evaluations and my peers have always had nice things to say. While I think it is ok to ask for help in situations like this, I do try to be as autonomous as possible and I don't think I ask my co-workers or preceptor any more questions than other floor nurses ask each other. ( at least I don't think I do ) I usually am asking questions regarding where to locate something. Or hospital policy regarding a situation and how it's handled. In all the years I've worked in healthcare, last night was the first time I actually cried after work. Preceptor said she was going to write a e-mail to our manager about me.
First off, I still do not believe in Nurse eating their young. But as a curiosity lets hear from experienced nurses about some of the young who tried eat their preceptors, or guides, or clinical coaches , or their more experienced co workers. Whatever terminology you prefer.
I remember this one young male student. Very full of himself. He would not listen to instruction, he would not ask for advice, had a terrible attitude to get along with.. Within a couple of months he dug himself a hole, that he could not get out of. He put himself in a position, though several tried to help him. He ended up leaving.
So lets talk about difficult newbies for a change. I have not heard of anyone bringing this up.
Was I wrong? I was told , " I am not cut out for nursing ". I had been a lab tech for 7 years, a CNA for 3 years, and a hospital med-surg LPN for 5 years. I've always gotten great evaluations and my peers have always had nice things to say. While I think it is ok to ask for help in situations like this, I do try to be as autonomous as possible and I don't think I ask my co-workers or preceptor any more questions than other floor nurses ask each other. ( at least I don't think I do ) I usually am asking questions regarding where to locate something. Or hospital policy regarding a situation and how it's handled. In all the years I've worked in healthcare, last night was the first time I actually cried after work. Preceptor said she was going to write a e-mail to our manager about me.
You can't handle two symptomatic patients at the same time and it is appropriate to ask for help. I would have asked for help in that situation. Trust me on this if something bad happend the BON will ask "what resources did you use? Did you use the chain of command?" which is in this case is your preceptor.
I'm not sure what your preceptor was thinking here. You have one potential MI that could crash and burn, and one unresposive patient that could crash and burn and you have a preceptor. Her response doesn't make much sense to me. Good luck. Remember to stand up for yourself.
Gee..........it even happens online. Do the more experienced nurses think we newer nurses want their job? Do they remember their first job? All I want to do is take care of my residents the best I can, I don't need/want office politics, the he said/she said garbage, back stabbing found in most hospitals and nursing homes.
I have been thinking a lot about these posts. It's good to see that others see what I see. Not to frighten new nurses, but the profession is brutal and many nurses suffer ill health. Many of them smoke, have poor diets, lack enough sleep, don't have time for exercise or time for themselves. We work long hours under extremely stressful conditions and get little respect. Just when we think we will buckle under our loads, more is added on. It's no surprise to me that many nurses are as agitated as some of my patients. I'm not excusing their behavior, just observing the many different ways people handle stress and endure hardship.
It is vital that we all take care of ourselves, find a balance between our work and our lives outside of work.
Specializes in med surg, geriatric, clinical, pool.
unfortunately, our professional counterparts sometimes do need tough love. especially the ones who value socialization above time management. if we always drop what we're doing to help out the newbie who has spent the whole day texting, on facebook or gossiping with her/his friends at work and now needs lots of help to finish on time, we've taught them that they don't have to pull their own weight. without sufficient motive to learn to pull their own weight -- for example staying late over and over to finish, poor evaluations and lack of help from others who know the newbie won't be reciprocating any time soon -- they won't learn.
or do you think that the experienced nurse who has already learned time management needs to practice it at the expense of her own charting time to help out someone who won't help her out when she needs it? while you're right that the patient should never suffer, some nurses just aren't going to learn unless they suffer a little.
while tough love would never be my first choice for teaching, sometimes it's required as a last chance.
listen to this story and i was not a newbie and i did not get any help from the head rn coming into to work either. this is just uncalled for as nurses who are supposed to be compassionate towards others.
i worked 11-7 one night as a favor, i had already put in my 3-11 same floor, a subacute floor in a nursing home. i am an lpn, keep this in mind. early in the morning a pt had problems breathing. i needed the nurse on the long term floor help with the papers for transfering her to the hospital since this procedure was not covered in orientation.. things were ok until the head rn came to work about 5am. i paged her, she never came, she was outside smoking. i really could have used her, but i later found out she wasn't going to be any help to me. i had to give a man iv abt and his iv infiltrated. i had never put in a iv and this nursing home used a butterfly. she was verbally explaining how this was done standing behind the nurses station, this while i was still working with this other lady in respirstory distress, meanwhile no drugs were being given out. i never got the iv put in, i finally did get my pt tranfered to the hospital, none too soon, i spent until 11am giving out my am drugs. the head rn told me i could have give the respirtory pt lasix iv push, in fl in illegal for lpns to do that!
Specializes in med surg, geriatric, clinical, pool.
I have been thinking a lot about these posts. It's good to see that others see what I see. Not to frighten new nurses, but the profession is brutal and many nurses suffer ill health. Many of them smoke, have poor diets, lack enough sleep, don't have time for exercise or time for themselves. We work long hours under extremely stressful conditions and get little respect. Just when we think we will buckle under our loads, more is added on. It's no surprise to me that many nurses are as agitated as some of my patients. I'm not excusing their behavior, just observing the many different ways people handle stress and endure hardship.
It is vital that we all take care of ourselves, find a balance between our work and our lives outside of work.
And, always be kind.
Excuses excuses. At my first job at a hospital which I loved this job and my pts. I got lots of praise from my pts. I got along with everyone except the two supervisors.
All I ever saw them do is sit behind the nurses' station and eat all night and jabber to each other. Only once did I get help and that was so one of them showed me how to do trach care. The could stare a hole right through you. I am talking about 30 and 25 yrs experience. Wouldn't that experience be put to better use by helping the new nurses? This isn't exactly a fall-in-your-job. There is a lot not covered in classes and I think the old timers forget because they are just like the old nursing teachers, its all become old hat for them and they just can't figure out why the new ones are having such a hard time.
Go figure. As my dad used to say, "consider the source Queen".
I have been a nurse for four years now, and I have met nice nurses, and back-stabbers too. I think this is issue is not black-and-white, as it is in the real world. There are good, and bad tendencies in all of us. An old native American story says: A grandfather was talking to his grandson, and telling him that in a man there are two wolfs, a good and a bad one that are always fighting. The grandson asked which one won, and the grandfather told him the one that he was feeding. So, it depends which one we are feeding.
As for if you find yourself in a workplace where most of the nurses are so insecure about their persona, and are back-stabbing other nurses just to appear superior, and the ones that are to be kept as an employee, pack your bags, and get out of there. If you decide to stay among them, you'll suffer, and start hating your job, or you'll have to become like them (if you can...). "Fight evil with good", and it might work, but make sure they don't devour you.
If there is maybe only some that spread their negative spirit you don't have to work very closely with, make sure to avoid too much contact. Don't even think in talking about them, because they will find out, and then you are facing an enemy that will turn your words arround, wil find the smallest mistake on you, and report, talk, back-stab.
I have worked 15 years in a different field, but I have never thought it would be possible that nurses can be caring, and saving lives on one side, and "killing" on another side.
Still, I love being a nurse, and making a difference for my patients, and for my co-workers. Maybe there is hope for some. :redbeathe
I've seen this happen too while in school. Students go through some very difficult and unreasonable professors. I was told that sometimes professors are hard on their students to try to get rid off the weakest link.
Being a recent grad, 2007, I can say I have definately seen that happen, first in the clinical setting then in my first job. The most surprising was from grads that were just a year out from me. Did they forget already what it's like to start out? Every nurse has been a "new" nurse and they should all remember that and use their knowledge to teach the new grads, not belittle them.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
as a new grad still orienting i was just ripped apart for asking questions. sure, i thought i knew the answer but wanted confirmation my thinking was on-track. my preceptor is writing the manager now to suggest additional training or finding me another place to work. if i knew that was the outcome, i would not have dared to ask any questions. darn! i though you could ask questions if you were orienting. sorry for venting, but i thought the purpose of orienting was to get someone to talk to you and offer a second opinion or talk you through a procedure you have not done before. until tonight, my preceptor had been telling me what a great job i've been doing. so tonight it is getting close to the end of orientation and i decided to ask questions so that when i am off orientation i will be an asset to the floor and a good nurse for my patients. i don't think i asked too many, i hope not? i feel horrible for asking questions. yes, i realize i asked more than before. maybe that is my fault, but still, if orienting you should be allowed to ask questions regardless of how long you have been orienting.
if you're just venting, i apologize in advance. i'm going to treat this as if you're genuinely puzzled by what happened and are looking for feedback or advice.
yes, you can ask questions during orientation -- presumably you have much to learn, if not about how to be a nurse in general, you'll still have to learn how things work on your specific unit. but as a preceptor, i'm looking for questions that show progress. in other words, are you asking questions that are showing a greater depth of understanding of disease processes and unit protocols? or are you asking the same questions over and over, questions that should have been asked and answered during your first week of orientation? if the questions that you're asking are about things you should have become completely familiarized with over the course of your orientation up to this point, your preceptor is right to question whether this job is a good fit for you or whether you need more orientation.
at this point, take the time to really think about the answers both to the questions you asked and to the questions i posed. if you sincerely believe this job is the right fit for you and that the questions you asked your preceptor reflect growth rather than stagnation, maybe it's time to have a candid talk with the preceptor about her expectations of you and where exactly you're falling short.
one more thing -- or maybe it's two. some preceptors have a hard time articulating negative feedback. nice people want to say nice things to you, and perhaps she's been trying (and failing) to tell you all along that you need to grow in some way. it may be that she hasn't learned to give negative feedback. or it may be that you haven't learned to hear it. it's extremely common for women of my generation to take negative feedback to heart and gloss over positive feedback as "just what's expected." consequently, i try really hard to give my orientees enough positive feedback that some of it has to stick while not dwelling on the negative nearly as much. it seems to me to be that the current generation is the opposite: they gloss over negative feedback and take only the positive to heart. take some time to think about how you perceive feedback as well. it will help you in the future.
good luck -- it's my intention to help you figure things out.
Of course I have been thinking all night about what I could have done differently to have gotten to the stroke patient quicker and have not been able to think of one yet. The stroke patient had come in for pancreatitis. I did not go there and leave my chest pain because patient 2 was breathing and the first was not breathing well. 
While I think it is ok to ask for help in situations like this, I do try to be as autonomous as possible and I don't think I ask my co-workers or preceptor any more questions than other floor nurses ask each other. ( at least I don't think I do ) I usually am asking questions regarding where to locate something. Or hospital policy regarding a situation and how it's handled. In all the years I've worked in healthcare, last night was the first time I actually cried after work. Preceptor said she was going to write a e-mail to our manager about me.
Tweety, BSN, RN
36,377 Posts
Don't forget this. Often new grads take one moment in time, get all bent out of shape over one bad moment a preceptor has, one misunderstanding, or one stressed out moment and run with it. Preceptors are human too.
God knows I have my moments. Friday at the end of a crazy week a float tech came to me, "what are you doing with me at 3:00?"....me "I don't know yet, I haven't got final". Tech: "Am I floating somewhere else?", Me: "I don't know yet, I haven't got final staffing yet.". Tech: "Am I going back to my unit?" Me. "I don't know yet." Tech: "Am I staying here?" Me: I ripped him apart "I DON"T KNOW YET". Of course, when I found out later I had to apologize. sigh.
That's unacceptable that you were "ripped apart". If this is true, (and not an exaggeration, which people tend to do. No offense, but I've heard people say "did you see the way she yelled at me, or "ripped me a new one?" when that really wasn't the case at all) what did you do about it?
You have the power right now to stop this kind of behavior. You can send the message that being "ripped apart" will not be tolerated, that you expect your questions answered, and that you expect to be treated professionally.
This kind of behavior is wrong. It's good to vent about it, but what's the next thing you're going to do?
Perhaps before your next shift starts, "can we talk about about last shift. My perception is that you ripped me apart because I asked too many questions. Is this what you meant?" You might be pleasantly surprised that she didn't mean to rip you apart, she'll apologize, and she'll get the message "this is one nurse not ripe for the eating" and word will get around.