This vile expression implies that experienced nurses do not treat new nurses kindly. My first problem with the statement is that it’s a generalization implying that all nurses are like that. Interestingly, whenever I hear someone utter the expression, I always say, “I don’t do that. Do you?” The person making the statement always says, “Oh no, I don’t, but many others do.” I’ve never heard even one nurse own up to doing this, although some nurses are willing to indict the entire profession. Every time that statement is repeated, it causes harm and casts a dark shadow on every nurse. Say anything enough, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Please note that by moderator consensus some of the "Nurses Eat Their Young" posts will be referred to this thread where there can be an ongoing discussion, rather than several threads saying the same thing.
To students and new grads that are having problems with nurses, please take a moment to read the above link. Is it really the entire profession, every single nurse, or do you need help with one or a few nurses? We will be glad to help you in dealing with those people, but let bury the phrase "Nurses Eat Their Young".
To experienced nurses who claim our profession eats it's young, please take a moment to read it as well and think about it. Also take time to teach, be friendly and nurturing to the new nurse and students on your unit.
and the circle of indigestion continues............
but tonight we had a good night.........we have a great unit and a great team.....and we even clowned together in our few spare moments and made spare moments just to clown.....cause we needed to laugh and chill.....it was a blast......can't say more.....as it is on the pic's.....
hehehehehehehhehee
teamwork can be developed and can be very very rewarding and a joyful working/nursing experience........
Way back on page 1 CATLADY talked about the tired saying of "nurses eat their young" That saying does need to be put to rest. In all professions including nursing it is human nature for different personalities to conflict ; some people are controllers, bossy, competitive. Others are wishy-washy, pushovers or crybaby's. Some are neutral and don't really care or even notice some of the garbage that goes on! Personalities are different everywhere. Unfortunately, the people hear that saying of *nurses eating their young* and those that may be new or more intimidated will feel that this phrase makes them nervous or more cautious or afraid of the people that may feed off such a saying as this. Students are especially inpressionable when they hear this saying. I don't particularly care for the phrase, it sounds tacky! BUT, the meaning is true. It is actually a matter of not just getting rid of the dorky phrase, but getting rid of the act *of* being nasty to other people. Unfortunately some people are that way, for whatever reasons may be. Tyr to help them, be decent to them, if they are still mean and nasty then it is their problem! Stay away, try to be positive, and if they are really giving you a hard time then DOCUMENT! Lots of games in the competitive fields of professional work, and this is only one!
This is a fascinating topic. I've never heard of the phrase "nurses eat their young" until finding this board a couple of weeks ago. However, I do know that I experienced it when I first came out of nursing school. I was a tech in MICU my last year of nursing school. I enjoyed that very much. As I couldn't go directly into L&D, I took a position in the hospital's step-down unit right after passing the board.
It's my opinion that I was consistently given the worst district on the unit with the heaviest patients. (It usually happened when a particular nurse was in charge.) I tried my best, but I was so stressed and found I had no support from the other nurses who were either too busy themselves, or were simply out to take a piece of me whenever they could. I have to admit that after six months, I had to leave. I felt like I was in over my head, unsafe, and didn't know which way to turn.
NancyRN's post #78 struck a chord in me. For the last 6 years, I've been "hiding out" too. I haven't been able to step foot into another hospital position because I was so traumatized by the last experience.
Recently, I decided that the job that I was doing, though honorable and providing a needed service for the elderly in the community was not what I wanted to be doing with my life. It didn't feel like real nursing because it required no hands on care at all. It's illegal even to do a fingerstick for patients if they ask. The most I can do is teach. So now, I'm heading back into the trenches again (so to speak). After all this time, I'm anxious about returning to the bedside. Still, I'm determined to try again but it'll be like being a new grad all over again.
What I'd like to know is:
First, why might I possibly "deserve" unkind treatment? To paraphrase someone on this board, they made a comment that, in some instances, new nurses might be deserving of what they got. (I hope that wasn't just me misreading the intent of the comment.) I don't recall who it was, however, it struck a chord in me as well. Perhaps it was something in my demeanor that provoked an unpleasant reaction in some of my ex-coworkers?
How can I monitor myself so that I'm not stepping on anyone's toes and making them feel like they DO have to come after me without becoming a doormat in the process? I felt that in all prior instances the treatment I got was unjustified. However, perhaps it's something within myself that instigated this treatment? I'm willing to consider the possibilty and don't want to make the same mistakes again. Besides someone who might be trying to be a know-it-all (which I certainly wasn't) what do new nurses do that bother the veterans? I'd be very interested in hearing your answers.
Second, if someone is truly being unfair to me, how do I stand up for myself without alienating that person and possibly exacerbating the problem? True, speaking calmly and professionally and nonjudgementally should do the trick, right? But, in my experience, that doesn't matter.
I really want to do well this time around. I'm trying to get a hold on my own fears and to work on concrete ways of becoming an asset to my new unit and not a source of further stress. Any pointers would be appreciated.
Cynna, this may sound bad, but the only problem I see with your post is that you really care if you alienate a "young eater". I used to think the same way, but then I realized, she wasn't being nice to me in the first place, so why worry about ofending her by standing up for myself (in a professional manner of course)? I have found them to chill out a lot once I stood up for myself.
No one deserves unkind or unprofessional behavior from their colleagues. The best defense is going in with honesty and confidence. I think young eaters can smell fear. New grads who seem scared, unsure or weak tend to get eaten first because they're easy prey. I am not trying to say you should go in and pretend to be a know it all (that would just make things worse), but you need enough confidence to survive. "Find one good nurse who will help you learn and support you and treasure her like she was pooping diamonds" was the best advice I got as a new grad. I hope your return to the trenches goes well!
Tooo short for you. Come on Susy, you can do better.
HA! :chuckle
The more I say, the more it gets me in trouble.
What more CAN I say? I've seen young-eating and been a victim of it; had me in tears as a new grad but loved my specialty so much that I persevered and just took the crap. I've taken quite a bit of crap in my life so I guess that is why I've learned to be outspoken; at least in written word.
In person, I generally cry when angry, and I hate it.
But as far as eating our young, absolutely. And frankly, I haven't a clue why. I've orientated alot of new nurses in my short career and have NEVER, EVER made them cry. I love teaching anyway so why would I make my "student" miserable?
When i ask actual nurses about eating their young, in real life, they kinda pretend like they don't know what I am talking about.
Also, this must be mostly amongst agency nurses, because I don't see how a staff nurse could make a kill in front of other staff, without someone barking about the commotion.
In order for me to assist any nurse during such a kill, I would have to cross two barriers, gender and human (social).
If i saw a nurse attempting to feed on a younger nurse, I would start barking that the nurse doing the bullying should bully me. Then I would lash out at the bully nurse with furious anger and she would know my name is mario when I lay my wrath upon her :-)
Okay, all the conversation is about nurses (I'll change the phrase), not supporting each other. But can any of you please give me examples of what to say in order to sway these tired souls' inappropriate verbalizations?
I have tried saying to many who start complaining about another staff member, "I'm not the one you need to be discussing this with. If you have issues with *****, then h/she is the one you need to be speaking with."
And, I've tried,"The nurses station and the hallway are not appropriate places to be discussing this. Can we go in the lounge when we have a free minute ?"
I know we are all overworked and tired. And we feel like we don't have any support, but if we don't help each other, then who is left?
I'm getting exhausted. To be perfectly honest. I need to cut it out too. I find myself doing the same thing sometimes but I realize what I'm doing and stop.
Do we try to have more social contact? Group support meetings/hang out before or after work? (Forget the staff meetings. All we get there is a pat on the head.) In what kind of environment can nurses put forth their feelings without getting rejected or laughed at ? I would really like some serious, hardcore suggestions.........please.......
I'm a "new" nurse, been a nurse for 10 mos, I'm an LPN going to school for RN, I'm also 33 with 2 kids. There are some nurses who "eat their young" but I have had the same experiences in bartending & office work. There are also some WONDERFUL helpful beautiful nurses that inspire me every day. I work in a nursing home where I worked 2 years as an aide while going to school & I was told by instructors to leave, "They've seen you wear other shoes" & there are some that's true for, most are very cool about it. This was my dream, this is what I do. I love taking care of all my "grandmas & papas"
I'm a "new" nurse, been a nurse for 10 mos, I'm an LPN going to school for RN, I'm also 33 with 2 kids. There are some nurses who "eat their young" but I have had the same experiences in bartending & office work. There are also some WONDERFUL helpful beautiful nurses that inspire me every day. I work in a nursing home where I worked 2 years as an aide while going to school & I was told by instructors to leave, "They've seen you wear other shoes" & there are some that's true for, most are very cool about it. This was my dream, this is what I do. I love taking care of all my "grandmas & papas" [/b:) :)
Specializes in Med/Surg, ER, L&D, ICU, OR, Educator.
We are at a small community hospital where all nurses have to be proficient in all areas of nursing (which is definently not for everyone), and applicants don't flow in. We welcome all new nurses with open arms and all take our exhausting turn orienting them. When we start to turn on them (if it's going to happen, and usually it doesn't) is when it becomes apparent that they aren't going to carry their weight. We can only be expected to carry our own plus all, most, or some of there's for a time-limited period. It is just to labor intensive! Some newbies just aren't going to make it in all situations! You will find your nitch and your co-workers will embrace you!
micro, RN
1,173 Posts
and the circle of indigestion continues............
but tonight we had a good night.........we have a great unit and a great team.....and we even clowned together in our few spare moments and made spare moments just to clown.....cause we needed to laugh and chill.....it was a blast......can't say more.....as it is on the pic's.....
hehehehehehehhehee
teamwork can be developed and can be very very rewarding and a joyful working/nursing experience........
like me being indoctrinated onto new unit.....
like funny quick pics.........
like.......
like.......
sworn to secrecy.......
like the development of the .........room.......
gotta get some sleep and the choir says amen.....