Do you make your title known?

rn/writer, RN · Sep 23, 2008

Giving this information (or getting it from a patient or family member) doesn't mean much apart from the attitude it's connected with and the goal in sharing it.

I generally tell caregivers when I go in the hospital or accompany family or friends, but I do so with several thoughts in mind.

I appreciate knowing if one of my patients or their entourage is a medical person, so I do the same if the situation is reversed. It's a professional courtesy when I receive that info and I offer the same. As long as it's done with respect and without arrogance or threat, there shouldn't be a problem. I'd rather find out up front than have the information hurled at me when there is a problem.

Communication is an important part of the nurse/patient relationship. When I'm the nurse, knowing there is a medical person involved helps me to adapt and tailor the type and amount of information I give. If I am the patient, I want my caregivers to use correct medical terminology. And I want them to understand that my desire for greater depth of information than a typical layman might want is in no way an indictment of their care or skills--it's simply that I know more of the questions, and I would like more detailed answers.

I have had a few touchy nurses who initially felt like I was trying to put them on the spot, but this almost always improved when I explained that rather than looking for trouble, I was looking for safety so I could let go and rest. Put this way, granting my quest for information could be viewed as just another way to take care of me.

Even at times when I see something that I question or disagree with, I try to do so in a respectful and diplomatic fashion. My daughter had a baby a few weeks ago. She was a gestational diabetic and there was a bit of excitement when the baby needed deep suctioning to get him going. I stayed by her side, but had a perfect view of the warmer. After he was stabilized and they were getting ready to wrap him up and bring him over, I asked what his dexi (blood sugar) had been. I knew he hadn't had a dexi, but rather than say it that way, I hoped the question would prompt them to do the test. It did, and he was above the danger zone.

My daughter and her husband would not have known to ask about a dexi, and most babies of gest. diabetic moms are fine, but the test does need to be done to confirm that.

I also have a grandson with spina bifida that includes severe complications. My daughter has often sought out my mother (also an RN) and me to help her ask the right questions during her son's complex post-op care (he has had 40-plus surgeries). I believe there have been at least a couple of times when we were able to alert one of his many practitioners to a life-threatening problem. This can be crucial when there are three or four different services (ortho, neuro, renal, pulmonary, etc.) involved and we are the common denominator. Fortunately, our relationship with his caregivers has evolved to the point where my daughter, my mother, and I are all treated as part of the team, and our concerns are taken seriously. If we are worried about something that isn't as dire as we may have thought, they pretty much know now not to ever try to just back us off, but to explain what we need to know and then we will back ourselves off gladly. When a new resident tries to bluff or intimidate, it doesn't take long for the nurses or the other docs to 'splain it to them.

Attitude and purpose can make all the difference in the world in this kind of situation. No one wants to be threatened, ambushed, or made to look like a fool. But I know we have saved my grandson's life on more than one occasion.

For those who want to use their credentials like a club, I tell them whatever I can to satisfy their need to know, but I also try to convey that I am not someone who is cowed by grandstanding or implied threat.

I do encourage my medical patients to let themselves be patients. I tell them I will give them as much technical information as they would like, but then I hope that will allow them to relax and enjoy being taken care of. Many of them are grateful to have "permission" to just be a person and be on the receiving end of some TLC.

Having a medical patient or support person can be a boon if there is mutual respect in the equation.

twistedpupchaser · Sep 23, 2008

Recently I got a call that my nephew was downstairs in the Emergency Department having broken his collar bone, so during my break I visited him. Working in the same facility it was obvious that I was a nurse so I found out who was looking after him and introduced myself stating that I was there as a concerned uncle, not as a nurse. By the simple statement that I was there as a family member no-one was put out and everyone was happy, I still had to check his neuro-vascular status though, couldn't help myself.

I have let the pharmacy staff know that I am a nurse, only so that I can get the information that I want when getting medication for my kids, it also saves them giving me the "education" package when I ask for specific OTC medications, (it is a legal requirement here that pharmacy staff educate the Pt on the use and effects of certain OTC medications, ie: codeine, pseudephedrine)

Other than that I stay quiet but usually give myself away by questions.

november17, ASN, RN · Sep 23, 2008

I keep it to myself. Especially in a healthcare setting, they have to pry it out of me. I'm not going to deny it, but if no one asks then I don't tell. Then again, none of my family ever ends up in the hospital so I haven't been in that "concerned visitor" role yet. I suppose even if I was, I probably wouldn't be focusing on the care they are getting or not getting. I've had a lot of patient's family members claim to be "RNs" and it seems like they're generally pretty cool people to have around. Usually I just say to the patient, "Wow that's cool! You get your own personal nurse!" Although I have had the odd micromanager "RN" family members sometimes. To be honest, some of the time I don't 100% believe visitors when they claim to be RNs or nurses, but whatever. I think a lot of people don't realize that unless you're a float nurse or something then wherever you work probably specializes in something 100% different than whatever unit your family member happens to be on. I had a patient a few weeks ago whose daughter mentioned she worked cardiac and then went on to worriedly point out her mom's bandage was bloody. I told her, "It's okay! Your mom just had major joint surgery! It's normal!" And left it at that. I'm not saying she didn't know what she was talking about (the bandage WAS bloody), but it's just not that huge of a concern. I'd suppose it would be a concern if you had a bleeding patient on the cardiac floor, but she wasn't a med/surg nurse and was just out of her element. She had concerns about her mom's blood pressure dipping too but the lady had an EBL of 400 what do you expect? You just have to address their concerns. At least with another nurse they understand the logic behind what is going on, but if you start talking shop with a layperson they nod their heads but they don't really "get it."

Although I did have a family member of a patient that worked in my hospital's ICU; this lady actually called me from upstairs during her shift, asked for me, and asked the current vitals and what the blood loss was during surgery (she had the pin number). I told her, "50ccs ebl.." So this RN that called said bluntly, "I work in the ICU (strong verbal emphasis on that, she said it like EYE SEE YOU). She's going to need a blood transfusion. You need to order a midline. That's a nursing order you know, you can do that without the physician's permission." I was like, "hahaha what?" I almost told her to go order it herself (and go do some other thigns to herself as well) and very nearly hung up on her. It was really annoying. I know my business. I don't need someone telling me what needs to be done. (btw the patient didn't need a transfusion she just needed a bit more fluids). And why place a midline on someone that is going to have their IV site d/ced in 2 days anyways? It didn't make any sense. She was just being pushy and was obviously trying to be supportive SINCE SHES AN RN IN THE EYE SEE YOU but didn't know how to do it without coming across like a douche.

Even in my personal life I have a "don't tell" policy but that's in part due to the ridiculous questions people ask me when they find out I'm a hospital nurse. Once I was in a REALLY long line at a grocery store making small talk with the lady behind me. Anyways, she asked where I work, and I told her, "the hospital." And my 5 year old said, "My daddy's a NURSE!" Anyways, the lady started telling me in a roundabout way how it burned when she urinated and what did I think it could be? I swear this is a true story, and stuff like that is why I don't like to mention it. It's bad enough some of the stuff I have to deal with at the hospital, and I'd rather leave work at work and enjoy my personal time.

I'm certainly proud to be an RN, but I don't wear it on my shoulder like many nurses seem to do. In a professional setting yes, at home or out with my family or friends? No. And I'd certainly never interfere with someone else trying to do their job.

allnurses Guide · Sep 23, 2008

Had a pt's who had a daughter who charged through our facility like she owned the place. She was sure to tell us she was an RN.

She was the biggest PITA in 3 states!

Turned out, she was only a tech.

It was of no consequence to us... she could have been a doc for all we cared. Her parent was well-cared for.

Honestly, I can't help but think that these folks in healthcare should know darn well their loved one is getting good care since I like to think they see that in their own work place... and provide good care themselves.

Why should we be any different?

gentlegiver, ASN, LPN, RN · Sep 23, 2008

I really get bothered when I walk onto my unit and am informed that my new admitt is related to someone in management. Do they expect me to ignore the rest of my pt's and consentrate on keeping thier relative comfy and happy? I will do my job, for all my people, to the best of my abilities, your relative will get the same level of care as the pt's who have no family to look out for them.

The other day I went to pick up supper for my co-workers, I was standing in line and a lol stated (very matter of factly) that I was a Dental hygenist. I assured her I was not, she then asked why i was wearing scrubs. I told her I was a Nurse, she then stated I must be a pediactric nurse. I told her I worked geriactrics, she asked what that was. I told her I worked in LTC taking care of old people. She then moved her seat away from me like dementia was contagious or something. Now I tell my co-worked I'm just a Dental Hygenist when they ask me to do extra work!

LesMonsterRN, ADN, RN · Sep 23, 2008

I generally like to know when a patient or a family member are nurses; I can tell them what's going on and know that they'll understand. There are some instances where I feel intimidated but not very often.

As a patient I don't generally say anything unless a question I ask prompts it. If I'm with a family member I will mention it and then tell them to let me know if there are more of the routine tasks I can take off their hands with my family member to free them up for other things if they're busy.

mama_d, BSN, RN · Sep 23, 2008

My only real experiences have involved my kiddos....

When youngest son was hospitalized b/c of sepsis and dehydration with possible acute renal failure at two months old, I went into nurse mode to cope...basically gave the triage nurse report as if it was a shift change or patient transfer. The triage nurse immediately asked if I was a nurse...I told her yes, but not a baby nurse, I'm out of my element here! The only time I got pushy was in the ED when they took six hours to start an IV on him (you could watch his soft spot sinking in, and he had no urine output for over seven hours)...I understand that starting an IV on a dehydrated two month old is probably next to impossible, but he was critically ill and went from fussy to nearly unresponsive over those six hours. They also didn't like it when I asked them to recheck his temp after we were there for four hours...I would have expected them to be monitoring it fairly closely to make sure the Tylenol was working, since he was triaged with a rectal temp of over 106. Lo and behold, it was still way high and he needed another dose of Tylenol.

Once we got to the floor, I let them know that I was an adult tele nurse (he was in a monitored bed) and asked them if it was okay if I replaced leads/pulse ox probe once he got energetic enough to be kicking/pulling them off, to save them steps. My hubby and I actually had a big disagreement about that one...he kept telling me to leave my hands off, I tried to explain that they probably appreciated me putting the pulse ox probe back on his toe when he was kicking it off every twenty minutes! I did ask to be kept up to date on what his lab results were, whenever it was convenient for the nurse. I also kept a record for them of diapers/feedings and would give it to them when it was time for them to do their I&O's, so that they wouldn't have to worry about it.

Another time, when older son was five, he had to have tubes put in and adenoids taken out...when he rolled by to go to PACU, he was on a breathing tx with RT standing by and an ambubag on the stretcher. I thought I was going to have a heart attack, and probably sounded like it when I blurted out "What's with the ambubag? What's his pulse ox?" Dead giveaway there! Ended up he had desatted to low 80's, but recovered nicely once he got a treatment...

I've dealt with my share of "I'm an RN, so watch your step and do what I say" family members, so I was trying very hard to not be one of them! Hopefully I succeeded.

SmilingBluEyes · Sep 23, 2008

I like to keep quiet most of the time.