Do a little more self-discovery before I enter an Accelerated BSN program?

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I wasn't really sure what to title my post . . . but I would like to hear some opinions. Here's my situation:

I graduated in 2007 with a double major in public health and Spanish. Since graduating, I determined that I wanted a clinical health care degree. After some research, I decided nursing seemed like the way to go. I quit my full-time job, have been working heavy part time hours at a bar for the past year while I completed all of my science prerequisites.

I applied to three schools. Waitlisted, ultimately denied by my top-choice school. Admitted into two others; deferred my admission to one because it required a very rapid move.

You see, this past semester I have been working approximately 25-30+ hours a week, while also taking A&PII, Micro, and Chem II (required by some of the schools I applied to). My last final is Wednesday, the 11. I was admitted late into a local program at a well-respected school (probably not nationally as well known, but in my metro region it is highly regarded as a health care teaching institution). I gave them a deposit and begun to complete all of the requirements.

I am not as excited as I feel like I should be. Everyone else I tell is quite excited for me, but I feel almost a sense of dread. For one, this program requires I borrow a fair amount of money. As someone with a BS already, I am only entitled to a certain amount of federal loans; the rest will have to come from private lenders. I expect to borrow around $45k. The program is only one year, though, and I will seemingly be "set" a year from now.

I guess borrowing the money really scares me. I feel like I will be enslaved afterwards, and forced to take anything I can get (if I am lucky enough to even get an RN job, since I hear they are hard to come by these days). The thing is, my ultimate goal (so I think) is to become a WHNP/CNM, maybe also get an MPH or an MBA, and ultimately help run some sort of international women's health organization. I would like to get experience delivering health care to women all over the world. Getting the BSN is the first step - but it is an expensive one!

Moreover, I think I am burnt out a bit. It has been an intense year of schooling and work. To start another really intense year of school and clinicals next week overwhelms me.

Lastly, truth is I have not had a TON of first-hand exposure to RN-hood, or NPs. I figure if I don't start the ABSN program next week, I can reapply/apply to new places, get some volunteering under my belt, etc.

I don't know what I expect anyone to say. I guess it feels good just to write this all down, if nothing else. If I don't enter this program next week, I'll feel a bit like a "loser," as I'm still just floating about, figuring out what to do, delaying the next step. I am 26, and with all of my goals, I feel as if I am losing time already. If I go now, I'll be done in a year. I'll owe a lot of $$ when I am finished, but I will have the credentials and will pay the $ back, right? I just hate the idea of feeling stuck . . . stuck with a job I don't like, since my ultimate goal isn't really to be a bedside RN, but that seems to be where the jobs are and the money, and stuck with lots of loans.

OK, I know that is a lot to read and digest. I'm not even sure if I understand what I am trying to say. Guess I just wanted to throw my thoughts out into the sphere of AllNurses. Thanks for reading.

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Is it possible to delay your entry? Is the other school you were accepted at cheaper?

There is nothing wrong with delaying a year to make sure you are sure. Would you be able to save money to put towards your tuition in that year?

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I don't really have any advice for you, all I can say is I think a little doubt and apprehension is normal and healthy. It is a big decision. you are clearly not a "loser." You have some vey admirable goals, and at 26 you still have a lot of time to fulfill them. It may not seem so, but take it from someone who is 38 ;)

Good luck to you, whatever you decide to do.

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Is it possible to delay your entry? Is the other school you were accepted at cheaper?

There is nothing wrong with delaying a year to make sure you are sure. Would you be able to save money to put towards your tuition in that year?

It may be possible to defer, but the program begins in May of every year, so it wouldn't be until then. The other school I was accepted to is about the same in price, however they had offered me a vey nice scholarship. The problem is I had ended up deferring my entry until the January start. I did this because I would have had to make a far move in a very short amount of time (their program also begins next week). Since I was unable to start in May (I called the school and asked them if there was any chance I could be let in - they said no), they withdrew the scholarship; they do not offer it for the January class, either. The school I was ultimately denied entry is known for offering very generous financial aid packages, to the extent that they do not want you to have to borrow anything from private lenders.

I could live with my parents, I suppose, which would help me save money for sure. I could work full time too, which I haven't been doing this past year (though with my hours, it has been closer to full- than part-time).

I'm trying to be "zen" about this and think like, "this is the school I was meant to be at." But I had my sights set on the others, so I feel a little disappointed. But if being an NP is my eventual goal, than this step shouldn't matter too much, right?

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I don't really have any advice for you, all I can say is I think a little doubt and apprehension is normal and healthy. It is a big decision. you are clearly not a "loser." You have some vey admirable goals, and at 26 you still have a lot of time to fulfill them. It may not seem so, but take it from someone who is 38 ;)

Good luck to you, whatever you decide to do.

Thank you. :) I hate using the word "loser," but sometimes it comes out. I know I tend to have a comparison problem, in which I compare myself to other people. So sometimes I can't help but feel behind in the game a bit, but I guess it's all about the journey, right?

And as for my age, that's what most people say to me. I hate to say it, but the whole children thing enters my mind, not that I even have a partner with whom I am close to having children with. But seeing as how I do think I have set some big goals, I worry about when I will be able to have children. It sucks that we women have to worry about this and men don't so much.I know I'm getting into some feminist stuff here, but as I get older I am really seeing the difficulty in "having it all."

OK, back to the topic on hand: good advice, glad to hear that my doubt is "normal and healthy." If only I could distinguish them between just nervous anxiety or true doubt . . . .

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It may be possible to defer, but the program begins in May of every year, so it wouldn't be until then. The other school I was accepted to is about the same in price, however they had offered me a vey nice scholarship. The problem is I had ended up deferring my entry until the January start. I did this because I would have had to make a far move in a very short amount of time (their program also begins next week). Since I was unable to start in May (I called the school and asked them if there was any chance I could be let in - they said no), they withdrew the scholarship; they do not offer it for the January class, either. The school I was ultimately denied entry is known for offering very generous financial aid packages, to the extent that they do not want you to have to borrow anything from private lenders.

I could live with my parents, I suppose, which would help me save money for sure. I could work full time too, which I haven't been doing this past year (though with my hours, it has been closer to full- than part-time).

I'm trying to be "zen" about this and think like, "this is the school I was meant to be at." But I had my sights set on the others, so I feel a little disappointed. But if being an NP is my eventual goal, than this step shouldn't matter too much, right?

Honestly, I've never had to deal with crushing loans but I know many things in life don't go as planned. With my first degree, I had $10k in loans which were paid off. Now, I'm saving enough money to pay nursing school out of pocket. I also want to be a NP and the school I'd like to go for my NP is very, very expensive. I am going to try to opt for a cheaper BSN as a result.

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Honestly, I've never had to deal with crushing loans but I know many things in life don't go as planned. With my first degree, I had $10k in loans which were paid off. Now, I'm saving enough money to pay nursing school out of pocket. I also want to be a NP and the school I'd like to go for my NP is very, very expensive. I am going to try to opt for a cheaper BSN as a result.

Yeah, I'm starting to think maybe that is the way to go, or just enter a direct-entry MSN program and save more money until then. I am anxious to get on with my life, so to speak - I feel as if I have been in limbo preparing for this goal, though it has really only been a year since I have set out on this journey. And the school I am in does have a great reputation, though I think it is what YOU make of the experience. Meaning, if I attended a school that wasn't quite as "prestigious," but more affordable, for my BSN, I believe that it could still get me where I want to be if I was proactive and did all the right things for success (granted you have to do that anywhere, but some people believe a name can help you skate on into school).

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I relate to your problem. I also quit full time work last year to start pre-reqs and have just been accepted to a program and I find myself not excited about it. The school doesn't start until January, so I think it just might not have sunk in yet for me. I'm not sure what advice to give you. I don't think prestigious / pricey schools are necessarily better, especially since you will be continuing on with your education. Also, once you finish that one year program, you could get a part time nursing job to pay for your master's program.

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I relate to your problem. I also quit full time work last year to start pre-reqs and have just been accepted to a program and I find myself not excited about it. The school doesn't start until January, so I think it just might not have sunk in yet for me. I'm not sure what advice to give you. I don't think prestigious / pricey schools are necessarily better, especially since you will be continuing on with your education. Also, once you finish that one year program, you could get a part time nursing job to pay for your master's program.

Yes, I realize there are ways to help pay the loans AND/OR my future education through tuition reimbursement and the life. I guess it's just the fact that I feel so enslaved by the loans, and I'm not even as excited as this school as I should be; it all makes me second-guess myself . . . . :(

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as someone who has busted their butt for the past year and a half also taking pre reqs, becoming a CNA, and working almost full time (and being broke for it...) i would die to be in your shoes and to be accepted to an ABSN program. in my area the only schools around are top-tier and although i've made A's in every prereq and have a 3.4 GPA from a top 25 university, I've been denied the first few rounds. maybe you could give your spot in the program to someone who has really thought about it and decided they really want to be a nurse, and take time to figure out what you want, because there's probably nothing worse than being taken care of by a nurse who hates her job. sorry if this seems harsh, just wanted to say what others might not have the heart to tell you.

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as someone who has busted their butt for the past year and a half also taking pre reqs, becoming a CNA, and working almost full time (and being broke for it...) i would die to be in your shoes and to be accepted to an ABSN program. in my area the only schools around are top-tier and although i've made A's in every prereq and have a 3.4 GPA from a top 25 university, I've been denied the first few rounds. maybe you could give your spot in the program to someone who has really thought about it and decided they really want to be a nurse, and take time to figure out what you want, because there's probably nothing worse than being taken care of by a nurse who hates her job. sorry if this seems harsh, just wanted to say what others might not have the heart to tell you.

I'm sorry to hear that it's so competitive where you are located.

I'm also not trying to sound ungrateful. I am very grateful to have the option to enter a program because I, too, have been busting my butt taking pre-reqs and working.

I also don't think I would hate my job. I don't plan on being a bedside nurse forever, nor is that necessarily the position I will be offered and take upon graduating with a BSN, passing the NCLEX and getting licensed. To clarify, I hate the thought of being stuck with a mountain of debt (yes, $45,000 is a lot of debt to me, though to some it has been compared to the idea of "buying a nice car"), having no other choice but to take whatever job I can get, and then have more money to spend further still on more education.

You're right, though, it's no fun being taken care of (whether it's a nurse, a physician, a bartender, the customer service agent on the phone with you, whatever) by someone who doesn't enjoy what they are doing.

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I don't know, I'd never pay $45k for a car :) I would pay $45k for an education but I can understand hesitancy. It is an investment in your future life but I know quite a few people that have felt crushed by student loans.

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