Disgusting Behavior of Nurses

[pagandeva2000]

I am just flabbergasted. My best friend, who is manic depressive is an excellent, organized nurse who really puts a positive foot in her work. Since her last manic episode, she has really been diligent in taking her meds. A downfall of the medication is that her hair has broken off and she gained weight. Because of that, she decided to cut her hair very short and wear it natural (she is African American). Sometimes, it is a short afro, other times, small twists.

Well, this morning, in front of at least 10 other witnesses, a head nurse walked up to her and said that her hair is horrible, she looks disheveled and also looks homeless. She also said that 'everyone is talking about it' and it appears that she is decomposing 'before their very eyes'. My friend was horrified, to say the least. She called me on my cell phone as I was on my way to work and told me this. This is the first day of her vacation and this is how it is supposed to start??

First off, did this woman even think...my friend was very meticulous in how she wore her hair in the past...now that it had broken off, and she has to pay cash for her medication to keep her stable, she decided that it was not worth spending money on the chemicals-it was wiser to take her medications as prescribed. Can that make her happy? But, she accepted it and make accomodations for her new hair.

All I can say is if I were present to witness such behavior, especially after knowing what my friend went through, I would have probably been the one suspended by the time I put that witch in her place. See, this is why nursing is going down. We can't even respect or show empathy for each other. It is all about embarassment, harassment, competition and insults. What has this line of work come to where our so-called leaders can get away with this?

My friend reported this to the Director of Nursing. Thank goodness, before she became a nurse, she was the DON's private secretary and she adores my friend. She told her that she WILL speak to that fool before the end of the day. Also, you never know who you are speaking to. This sorry head nurse doesn't even know that the DON and my friend are so close that she has been invited to spend the weekend with the DON many times over the years, with her children and the DON has also paid my friend's tuition for her daughter to attend private school. My friend, however, is not a name dropper, nor does she exploit her relationship with this woman. Oh, I am so angry...

[moosemadness]

Sorry to hear some nurses are so awful to each other. I had a nurse director (years ago now) talk about my "skinny white legs and dizzy blond hair" and "i don't know why your patients love you but they do, must be that southern hospitality".... I was so embarrassed. Guess it never dawned on her that i was born skinny, couldn't gain weight (before 40 yrs old that is) if i had wanted too, and believe me, i tried. Guess, it didn't dawn on her that my patients "loved" me because i took good care of them and treated them well...... hummmmmm, now there's a new concept, taking Good care of your patients.... why do people have to be so rude to each other. No matter the race or where you live... you'd be shocked at how people treat me in other areas of the U.S. (i was active duty for many years, married a marine, and we still move every 3 years, so i've been around the country) just because i'm from the south......... ughhh, lets all grow up, put on our big girl/boy panties and just do what we do......

[leenie123]

The most sickening thing I saw a fellow nurse do once was at break time, and she always stirred her coffee with the pen she used, all day! The pen surely had germs on it!

[MaritesaRN]

I am just flabbergasted. My best friend, who is manic depressive is an excellent, organized nurse who really puts a positive foot in her work. Since her last manic episode, she has really been diligent in taking her meds. A downfall of the medication is that her hair has broken off and she gained weight. Because of that, she decided to cut her hair very short and wear it natural (she is African American). Sometimes, it is a short afro, other times, small twists.

Well, this morning, in front of at least 10 other witnesses, a head nurse walked up to her and said that her hair is horrible, she looks disheveled and also looks homeless. She also said that 'everyone is talking about it' and it appears that she is decomposing 'before their very eyes'. My friend was horrified, to say the least. She called me on my cell phone as I was on my way to work and told me this. This is the first day of her vacation and this is how it is supposed to start??

First off, did this woman even think...my friend was very meticulous in how she wore her hair in the past...now that it had broken off, and she has to pay cash for her medication to keep her stable, she decided that it was not worth spending money on the chemicals-it was wiser to take her medications as prescribed. Can that make her happy? But, she accepted it and make accomodations for her new hair.

All I can say is if I were present to witness such behavior, especially after knowing what my friend went through, I would have probably been the one suspended by the time I put that witch in her place. See, this is why nursing is going down. We can't even respect or show empathy for each other. It is all about embarassment, harassment, competition and insults. What has this line of work come to where our so-called leaders can get away with this?

My friend reported this to the Director of Nursing. Thank goodness, before she became a nurse, she was the DON's private secretary and she adores my friend. She told her that she WILL speak to that fool before the end of the day. Also, you never know who you are speaking to. This sorry head nurse doesn't even know that the DON and my friend are so close that she has been invited to spend the weekend with the DON many times over the years, with her children and the DON has also paid my friend's tuition for her daughter to attend private school. My friend, however, is not a name dropper, nor does she exploit her relationship with this woman. Oh, I am so angry...

:typing

A very good reason to be angry. Some nurses (women) seemed to have this attitude w/ their fellow nurses. Constant competetion to other nurses and unfortunately constant and frequent intimidation from a female leader nurse ----I think this is simply the nurses that should not be in this kind of leadership role. My experience showed me ( and this includes some nursing instructors) who have no skills in people managing !!!! how they got to be where they are eludes me! It is good that nursing is now populated w/ men to balance out some of that ugly and unwelcome petty female bs. Whether it is hormonal or not , there is no excuse! Maybe she was one of those that was observed when they qouted , " nurses eat their young......?

[sixhose]

from beachbutterfly

aug 20, 2009, 12:33 pm

re: disgusting behavior of nurses

i guess i'm tired of people always pulling the race card.

the only people in this entire post who are "pulling the race card" are you and babylady. can we please focus on the issue at hand, which is a lack of simple human decency on the head nurse's part?

[bjmill60]

The reader who commented that this had nothing to do with Nursing was right. Ignorance is a more fitting label. Obviously this woman is very insecure in her role-Sad.

The nurse did the right thing by reporting this person to the DON.

[MaritesaRN]

from beachbutterfly

aug 20, 2009, 12:33 pm

re: disgusting behavior of nurses

i guess i'm tired of people always pulling the race card.

the only people in this entire post who are "pulling the race card" are you and babylady. can we please focus on the issue at hand, which is a lack of simple human decency on the head nurse's part?

really ? what race card are you talking about ? this is not about the color ...it is about the behavior! what planet do you come from ? you are so completely out of context. and your large prints showed that you are used to shouting to be heard , maybe? i can see why .....you missed the whole point ! not gonna waste any seconds on responses like this...... frankly , you must have failed the critical thinking part in the nursing area......but are you even a nurse ?

[sixhose]

I would imagine you might want to apply your critical thinking skills to your next reply :chuckle - I quoted and responded to somebody who was making the "race card" a factor. I am in total agreement with you ( with respect to the issue of horrible behavior on the Head Nurses part), this has nothing to do with race. The poster that I quoted said "I guess I'm tired of people always pulling the race card." and I am disagreeing with her. Please re-read.

[LogCabinMom]

I have to say I am not shocked by people's behavior anymore - especially nurses - we have a nurse who actually chews tobacco while working. DISGUSTING!!!

[greeneyz]

i'm sorry your friend was upset, but i agree that you cannot assume the remark was racially motivated. and, unless you saw your friend that day, you cannot be sure that she wasn't looking particularly unkempt.

i think that the you missed the point regardless .it was totally unproffesional and inconsiderate of that women to comment anything in front of others.i did not perceive any racism in the thread .simply a comment on the inconsiderate behavior of the big mouthed coworker .she should have slapped the b---h. then blamed the behavior on the manic state.:msk:

[Wishinonastar, BSN]

Where does anyone get the right to comment on another's appearance in this way? This is our whole society. I have had people comment on my red cheeks (rosacea) and my hair (turning grey!) and it completely freaks me out! I was raised that we do not comment on another's appearance unless it is out of helpfulness or concern (your tag is sticking out in the back, can I tuck it in for you?) and always we should make such comments privately. Society has become so brazen about such social etiquette matters anymore. I hear kids say such terrible things about each other's clothes and looks - things are getting worse. Granted a supervisor has the right to enforce a dress code, but even that should be done in private. Hope she gets chewed out but good!

[MaritesaRN]

I would imagine you might want to apply your critical thinking skills to your next reply :chuckle - I quoted and responded to somebody who was making the "race card" a factor. I am in total agreement with you ( with respect to the issue of horrible behavior on the Head Nurses part), this has nothing to do with race. The poster that I quoted said "I guess I'm tired of people always pulling the race card." and I am disagreeing with her. Please re-read.

Ooooppss :chuckle

I always skim upward and downward to read before I reply ------ there was no race card issues discussed .....so maybe you need to write the name of the person that you were addressing your comment to . For whatever it is worth,we use other terminology other than the "race card " --------------here in California, there is such cultural diversity ,that to be a Californian native , you have to be a mix or a half- half of something. Race should not be an issue in these type of discussions , considering nurses are of different cultural backgrounds , not to mentioned that nurses have higher education and can see beyond the color !!! ( I sure hope so...the majority at least) So that is why I was so surprised that race , was introduced out of nowhere in this discussion?

[yanmah]

i wouldn;t wish bipolar on anyone. My friend is a fantastic nurse and has bipolar, she has been employed at the same place for almost ten years, in between episodes. I am sorry to hear any nurse harassed in public. Any 'justified comments, which was not, should be made in private anyway. Although I have been bullied in nursing , its has beeen in the minority. Yes, sone nurses too drag others down, but not of all them.

But this was a personal, awful public attack.