Disgusting Behavior of Nurses

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I am just flabbergasted. My best friend, who is manic depressive is an excellent, organized nurse who really puts a positive foot in her work. Since her last manic episode, she has really been diligent in taking her meds. A downfall of the medication is that her hair has broken off and she gained weight. Because of that, she decided to cut her hair very short and wear it natural (she is African American). Sometimes, it is a short afro, other times, small twists.

Well, this morning, in front of at least 10 other witnesses, a head nurse walked up to her and said that her hair is horrible, she looks disheveled and also looks homeless. She also said that 'everyone is talking about it' and it appears that she is decomposing 'before their very eyes'. My friend was horrified, to say the least. She called me on my cell phone as I was on my way to work and told me this. This is the first day of her vacation and this is how it is supposed to start??

First off, did this woman even think...my friend was very meticulous in how she wore her hair in the past...now that it had broken off, and she has to pay cash for her medication to keep her stable, she decided that it was not worth spending money on the chemicals-it was wiser to take her medications as prescribed. Can that make her happy? But, she accepted it and make accomodations for her new hair.

All I can say is if I were present to witness such behavior, especially after knowing what my friend went through, I would have probably been the one suspended by the time I put that witch in her place. See, this is why nursing is going down. We can't even respect or show empathy for each other. It is all about embarassment, harassment, competition and insults. What has this line of work come to where our so-called leaders can get away with this?

My friend reported this to the Director of Nursing. Thank goodness, before she became a nurse, she was the DON's private secretary and she adores my friend. She told her that she WILL speak to that fool before the end of the day. Also, you never know who you are speaking to. This sorry head nurse doesn't even know that the DON and my friend are so close that she has been invited to spend the weekend with the DON many times over the years, with her children and the DON has also paid my friend's tuition for her daughter to attend private school. My friend, however, is not a name dropper, nor does she exploit her relationship with this woman. Oh, I am so angry...

Specializes in heart failure and prison.

1st off let me just say that NURSE KNUCKLE HEAD

Specializes in heart failure and prison.

1st off let me just say that NURSE KNUCKLE HEAD was way out of line for her rude comments and infront of other people. It seems to me that some people of other cultures (not all people) are very insentitive to our hair styles. Alot of my friends are now opting to where their hair natural because they are tired of putting chemicals in their hair or they are tired of what society says what our hair should look like. That's part of the reason why some people are ashamed to wear their hair natural because some people including our culture will view it as nappy looking or ugly. I think it as long as it is neat and clean people should be allowed to express themselves and not feel ashamed of the way their hair is. As for her manager, I am sure she doesn't work with one group of people and she need to get some sensitivity classes on how to approach her workers. Tell your friend to wear her hair natural and be proud of it.

I don't believe this has anything to do with racism, so I will discount any comments made that are taken by some as so. I believe that what the original poster is trying to convey is that we are seeing that some "experienced" nurses have become horribly calus towards other nurses. Even maybe some not so "experienced" ones also have. What's the sad part is that nurses by definition are supposed to be supportive, caring, and considerate, but have become bitting towards each other. "Eating their young" is a very true statement that can be applied to the career. Sadly enough. I'm certainly not saying that all nurses are this way, because I've come across many wonderful nurses. But, there are many that might need to sit and reflect as to why they became a nurse to begin with. Also, as a charge nurse, that nurse should have had some sort of leadership knowledge in her training. She needs to get a refresher course. I'll play devils advacate and say that perhaps she might have been concerned over the other nurses appearance. Well, as a head nurse, she could have approached it a whole different way privately. Perhaps asking her if she was OK, and if there was anything she could do for her to help her through the situation she was going through. This way she could express her concern for her appearance and help her too without degrading her like she did. Where is the compassion? It was sadly lacking. She needs to get retraining. I hope nurses can reflect on themselves and know that they have helped each other and not hurt each other.

I am just flabbergasted. My best friend, who is manic depressive is an excellent, organized nurse who really puts a positive foot in her work. Since her last manic episode, she has really been diligent in taking her meds. A downfall of the medication is that her hair has broken off and she gained weight. Because of that, she decided to cut her hair very short and wear it natural (she is African American). Sometimes, it is a short afro, other times, small twists.

Well, this morning, in front of at least 10 other witnesses, a head nurse walked up to her and said that her hair is horrible, she looks disheveled and also looks homeless. She also said that 'everyone is talking about it' and it appears that she is decomposing 'before their very eyes'. My friend was horrified, to say the least. She called me on my cell phone as I was on my way to work and told me this. This is the first day of her vacation and this is how it is supposed to start??

First off, did this woman even think...my friend was very meticulous in how she wore her hair in the past...now that it had broken off, and she has to pay cash for her medication to keep her stable, she decided that it was not worth spending money on the chemicals-it was wiser to take her medications as prescribed. Can that make her happy? But, she accepted it and make accomodations for her new hair.

All I can say is if I were present to witness such behavior, especially after knowing what my friend went through, I would have probably been the one suspended by the time I put that witch in her place. See, this is why nursing is going down. We can't even respect or show empathy for each other. It is all about embarassment, harassment, competition and insults. What has this line of work come to where our so-called leaders can get away with this?

My friend reported this to the Director of Nursing. Thank goodness, before she became a nurse, she was the DON's private secretary and she adores my friend. She told her that she WILL speak to that fool before the end of the day. Also, you never know who you are speaking to. This sorry head nurse doesn't even know that the DON and my friend are so close that she has been invited to spend the weekend with the DON many times over the years, with her children and the DON has also paid my friend's tuition for her daughter to attend private school. My friend, however, is not a name dropper, nor does she exploit her relationship with this woman. Oh, I am so angry...

Awfull story! it is a pity to hear such fact about nurses! Your friend is scoundrel!:down:

___________________

LIFE IS GOOD!

People like this give nurses a bad name. If she can treat a fellow employee this bad in front of others just think how she treats patients when she is alone with them. Tell your friend to hang in there.

Specializes in psychiatric, UR analyst, fraud, DME,MedB.
I think that the you missed the point regardless .It was totally unproffesional and inconsiderate of that women to comment anything in front of others.I did not perceive any racism in the thread .Simply a comment on the inconsiderate behavior of the big mouthed coworker .She should have slapped the b---h. Then blamed the behavior on the manic state.:msk:

:smokin:

Now that sounds what I would do ...and blame it on the manic state ! :chuckle A good one !!!!! I did not perceive any grain or color of racism in this thread either....that is why I impulsively responded to a comment about " race card"-- first time I heard these two words together ! Anyhow I agree, no excuse for this behavior , no matter what , nobody have any right to talk to you like this, specially in a work place. This person obviously is not a "manager" material, so beats me how she got up there............ ?????

Specializes in ICU, APHERESIS, IV THERAPY, ONCOLOGY, BC.
I wish I could say I'm surprised, but I'm not. I work in the mental health field and from both observation and personal experience I can tell you that if you "come out" to your co-workers as ever having had a mental illness, you will be watched much more closely than a "normal." Now it's true that the person who is decompensating is often the last to notice something is wrong, but I note that people will say about someone who is just having a good day and is laughing and joking, "Oh, he must be getting manic." If someone happens to come in to work with less than immaculate hair or makeup the speculation starts, "Oh, they're starting to get depressed." I've also heard managers tell employees "You know everyone is talking about you, you seem moody." THAT makes it easy to keep your emotional equilibrium!

I'm glad to hear that your friend has an ally in the DON. And the nurse who made the ignorant comment--it IS ignorance and an example of how far we have to go to get rid of the stigma of mental illness. It is also inappropriate in the workplace and she should be disciplined.

The unfortunate, hurtful and insensitive criticism endured by the nurse reminded me of a comment on the behaviour of nursing professionals by a professor of nursing during a discussion of this topic. " Nurses eat their young " which exemplifies an oft seen reaction to and among nurses where one inadvertently stands out or appears different.

Nursing education addresses a wide variety of pscho -social ills in our populations BUT we lack the training and technique to recognise and address our own destructive attitudes which hurt us all as nursing professionals. Nursing education and workshops are needed to recognise how easily and insidious, negative putting down occurs and how much time is needed to repair the damage. I have a brilliant nursing colleague in a PACU who was a victim of manic depressive illness. She has tried long and hard to work through her private hell while giving excellent and knowledgeable care to her patients. Not only did she care for patients, she was an excellent preceptor for new nurses Each time she returned to work, determined to suceed, there were snide remarks, whispers and one could sense the atmosphere similar to a group of jackals, circling and waiting to see her make a mistake or fail. As she was well aware of this, her love of the speciality kept her going. However, experiencing this daily, victimised, stressed and eventually broke down her mental fragile veneer. Erosion of self esteem against fear of failing is an awful dilemma and amidst much anguish she finally gave up and left nursing. Ironically, after 2 years she is doing well and exploring her other artistic talents. Most important, she is happy. What is the lesson here?

Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.

Well, my friend is back from her vacation in Puerto Rico and sounds well rested and happy. I love her, she is an inspirational friend and a phenomenal nurse. I am proud to say she is my friend and would never deny her. If it happens again, I may be tempted to write the powers that be, including outsiders myself.

Specializes in psychiatric, UR analyst, fraud, DME,MedB.
The unfortunate, hurtful and insensitive criticism endured by the nurse reminded me of a comment on the behaviour of nursing professionals by a professor of nursing during a discussion of this topic. " Nurses eat their young " which exemplifies an oft seen reaction to and among nurses where one inadvertently stands out or appears different.

Nursing education addresses a wide variety of pscho -social ills in our populations BUT we lack the training and technique to recognise and address our own destructive attitudes which hurt us all as nursing professionals. Nursing education and workshops are needed to recognise how easily and insidious, negative putting down occurs and how much time is needed to repair the damage. I have a brilliant nursing colleague in a PACU who was a victim of manic depressive illness. She has tried long and hard to work through her private hell while giving excellent and knowledgeable care to her patients. Not only did she care for patients, she was an excellent preceptor for new nurses Each time she returned to work, determined to suceed, there were snide remarks, whispers and one could sense the atmosphere similar to a group of jackals, circling and waiting to see her make a mistake or fail. As she was well aware of this, her love of the speciality kept her going. However, experiencing this daily, victimised, stressed and eventually broke down her mental fragile veneer. Erosion of self esteem against fear of failing is an awful dilemma and amidst much anguish she finally gave up and left nursing. Ironically, after 2 years she is doing well and exploring her other artistic talents. Most important, she is happy. What is the lesson here?

:nurse:

We need to support each other ! Mental illness is not a joke, and I, also as a mental health RN, saw a lot of a constant , painful inner struggle w/ them, while they try to fit in and work in the mainstream ------ this must be very hard to do. Unfortunately the nursing profession seems to be filled w/ some of these type of nurses that wants to put other nurses down, instead of helping them . They are so insecured that they need to beat the next nurse to make them look good. What's up with that ??? For crying out loud , we are in a profession that cares, compassion etc. to our patients, why can't we extend the same to our colleagues. I still wonder about this and as to what is the cause..... I can only surmise that as nurses one have to be a co dependent of some degree to be in this profession...the need to be wanted is always there w/ the patients, so they get this, but the bitchiness to other nurses must be some sort of a sibling rivalry? "I am better than you " or "I have what you do not have".....

these are just speculations of mine and wondering the extreme opposites of this mechanism. The reason why I cheerish the idea of men coming into nursing , so as to level out that hormonal imbalance (one of the causes? )among us women, you know the Jekyl and Hyde on a monthly frequency? But I also think that some nurses are just downright rude, insensitive and zero manners. Whatever the reason , it is still not acceptable !

But you can teach these people some lessons..........someone have to, because this behavior is not doable at work , home , out in the street , or anywhere!

:banghead: You know something , If I am the mentally "challenged" nurse and I go back to the floor to work and you hear this hissing sound around you, I will bring in a lawyer so fast for harrassmentt and will sue those nurses and the management for not putting a lid on it ! I will sue the whole place for not being responsible to their employees behavior !

Managers, I hope you are sensitive to this. There is always some nurses that seemed to form a small group and exclude other staff or alienate others, and that small group can and may bully others, or make others feel an outcast -------manager break this group. It is up to you or you will have problems in your floor or unit. Make your unit free of any of this .:heartbeat

It is true that nurses can be very catty with each other. I've seen it from both female and male nurses. It is a shame because we work in a stressful environment and should be supporting each other, not bringing each other down and reducing our work environment to a high school environment.

Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
Well, my friend is back from her vacation in Puerto Rico and sounds well rested and happy. I love her, she is an inspirational friend and a phenomenal nurse. I am proud to say she is my friend and would never deny her. If it happens again, I may be tempted to write the powers that be, including outsiders myself.

So good to hear that. And she has a great friend in you. Puerto Rico, huh?:onbch: Boy does that sound good esp right now. Heat plus bad air. Yuck.

I really do wish to see that charge nurse have some sort of repercussion from this. Your friend is the better person for how gracefully she handled it, but the whole incident still burns my -ss to think about. :madface:

Sure you did....because you said that the person who made the rude comment was setting themselves up for a lawsuit.

Giving an opinion on someone's personal appearance, doesn't warrant a lawsuit, because it's an opinion...no matter how rude it may be.

If it is racially movitated...it absolutely does.

If you were not implying that there was a possible racism factor to the woman's comment, then you would have made no mention that she was "setting herself up for a lawsuit".

Do what?

Sued for defamation of character, for a host of other things - NOT FOR RACE, folks. There are opinions and then there are ways of expressing those opinions that can get you sued. Mary might sleep around a lot, but if I tell the boss Mary's a ****, I can be sued for defamation of character - even if it's my opinion. Opinions can land you in court in a heartbeat.

Is it that impossible to believe that someone honestly is not concerned with what color someone is? Or that comments can get you sued for something besides being concerned with what color someone is?

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