Disgruntled RN

canesdukegirl, BSN, RN · Sep 12, 2010

Yeah, I hear what you mean about on the one hand wanting to stay put but on the other hand not wanting to deal with the drama. If you can, just do your job well like you have been doing and stay as clear of the boss as you possibly can. If she really is unstable, it will come to light by her bosses and they will have to do something about it. You must MUST make sure that you are crossing all of your t's and dotting all of your i's. If she is blatantly doing something wrong to you, don't discuss it with ANYONE (because you never know who is going to backstab you) but write an anonymous incident report instead. These reports go straight to legal, and if they get enough of them regarding her erratic behavior, they will have to take action. Writing these incident reports also proves on paper what her patterns are and will protect you. Just keep a low profile, and as hard as it is not to vent to your co-workers, it would really be in your best interest NOT to do it. Continue to focus on the reason you became a nurse and don't let all of that negative static get in the way of your ultimate goal-taking care of patients.

It will also help your sanity if you do start to look around at other jobs in the area and send out a resume or two just so you know in the back of your mind that you are still marketable. This alone will give you a feeling of freedom and moreover a knowledge that you CAN go to another job if you want. It gives you a feeling of "I want to" instead of the smothering feeling of "I have to".

Schedule some time off for yourself. It sounds like you need a few days of R&R with your hubby. I am sorry about your grandmother-that only adds so much emotional stress to what you are already facing. See if you can get some scheduled days off now before the holidays start.

Keep your head up! Wishing you the best.

Katie82, RN · Sep 12, 2010

I've been a nurse for about two years & I love being a nurse .. Sigh, I'm so discouraged & confused ... feel like there is noone I can talk to that I can trust & will understand.

Please don't allow your first bad experience to drive you away from nursing, as it has a lot of potenially good nurses. Your experience sounds like my first job - a manager with too many problems of her own taking it out on her staff.... I fault your facility for allowing this "crazy" person to remain in power. My first suggestion is to get off that floor, although that may be easier said than done because I'm sure you are not the only one who feels as you do. The other thing you need to understand is that there is a whole different world of nursing outside the hospital. It's not perfect either, but it sure beats hospital nursing. I left hospital nursing 20 years ago and never looked back.....

Maco · Sep 12, 2010

I know how you feel. It seems like management pushes pt care, always thinking of the pt but when it comes to the nurses thay can care less. I called in one for close family member was very sick in the hospital and we as the family were going to talk with the md about making him comfort measures. When I called in I explained the situation to the supervisor about what was going on( the family member was actually my father) she got a attitude with me and told me she really needed me there. I understand the the first priority for management is the hospital but at least have some sympathy for the ones that hold the hospital together (us nurses). it is awful that it all comes down to the almighty dollar sign.

canesdukegirl, BSN, RN · Sep 12, 2010

I totally agree-it seems as if mgmt does not really care what is going on in our lives. If we are not there for one day to take care of our own, it seems as if the guilt-trip commences. We recently had an employee opinion survey at our hospital and the scores reflected very poorly in this category. The ironic thing is that our hosp is seeking Magnet status. We all laughed. We call it Maggot status instead!

kesr · Sep 12, 2010

I know of a nurse who was a patient in her hospital's ICU - the supervisor actually had the gall to ask her when would she be back to work! Needless to say, she never went back and found an new job.

Now you are a nurse with 2 years experience - start looking for another job, either changing units where you are (if it gets you a new manager), or a totally different place. As Katie82 says there is also a wide world of opportunities out of hospitals once you have a few years experience. Good Luck!

dthfytr, ADN, LPN, RN, EMT-B, EMT-I · Sep 12, 2010

These seem like the perennial battles for nurses. The employer expects far higher loyalty from employees than it is willing to show the same employees. Employers are under the impression that employees never get sick or have priority family issues. My most recent employer uses Press Gainey patient survey scores. To their credit, they also surveyed the hospital staff. When they discovered that the public ranked the hospital higher than the employees they made some important changes in the way employees were treated. Now if we could get more employers to do this.....!

cecilsgirl · Sep 12, 2010

in relation to the OP's GrandMother passing away (and time off), I had a situation once at a place I worked, My Mother was on hospice, doing very poorly, and then my Father in law ( of 30 years) passed away suddenly of a heart attack, I worked night shift then, the place I worked at (LTC) had me working the night before his funeral! ( got off at 6:30 A.M- funeral was at 11:00 a.m. !! Now jump forward 3 weeks .. My Mom passed away, they wanted me to "try" to come in the weekend before her funeral ! ( she passed on a Thursday, funeral on the following Monday) I did not!!, but after everything, I was was so upset they treated me like that.!!! I confronted the NM, she said ...."well we didnt want to give you time off when you Father in law passed , because we knew your Mom was not doing well, and you would want the time off then." What the Heck!!!???-- Like I could control any of that??!!! I never abused sick time, always came to work, just hit a rough patch - and that is how I was treated. I have long since left that place, ( actually one month after my Mother passed away), I work for a place now that has a union, and none of that -------- anymore-- and am so much more happy! thanks for listening, as you can tell,-- it still bothers me!! 5 years later!

canesdukegirl, BSN, RN · Sep 12, 2010

Cecil-OMG!!!! You went through the ringer! How sad that you had to endure all of that loss in a short amount of time. That blows. I can't believe they asked you to work the weekend before you MOTHER'S funeral! That is outlandish. I am mad for you! Glad you left that place. I wish there were a union here for nurses. I think that we need some sort of organization that will protect us.

cecilsgirl · Sep 12, 2010

thanks canegirl-- yes it was a peice of work, also my Step Mother-in-Law always passed a week after my Father-in law)- --I got no time off then either, ( I KNOW !!THIS SOUNDS UNREAL , BUT IT IS SOOO TRUE!) I lost My Father in law, Aug 25th, his Wife ( who had a very poor heart , and it was expected) on Sept 7th and then My Mom - on Sept 21st,--- and then to top that off, ----we lost our old beloved german Shepherd-family dog of 12 years, on Oct 10th. not a good year ( or month for me!) :crying2:

kesr · Sep 12, 2010

On the other hand - to be devil's advocate - when I was breifly a manager, one of my nurses called me at 2am because her father had just had an MI. I went in to cover for her - but do you think I could get a single other nurse to help cover her week long absence? Was I supposed to create am extra nurse out of thin air? There have been previous posts about nurses unwillingness to exchange shifts. Unless we help each other, there is no hope!

I left that thankless job, and ended up in a clinic where everyone would help out and cover for each other's emergencies Best job I ever had.

pcbnurse · Sep 12, 2010

I don't know if I can top any of these stories, but here goes:

I worked for an orthopedic surgeon, one girl office// before I was a nurse. I did everything.. receptionist, assistant, typed all the records, filed insurance. etc. I gave birth to my first child at 35 weeks, on a Saturday night. *lady partsl delivery but with a 3rd degree episiotomy. On Monday Morning, the doc's wife called me at the hospital wanting to know when I was coming back to work.

I said, "well, I planned on taking off the usual 6 weeks".. She stated "Well , who's going to do all this work? Who's going to finish all this dictation?"

I told her "I have no clue, I am breastfeeding every 2 hrs and taking 6 Sitz baths per day, you may have to get someone else!!! She was appalled!