Difficult family members/visitors

Nurses General Nursing

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How do you all deal with these type of people? Some of them are nothing but trouble. I am a student but work as an CNA and I have seriously had it with a lot of these family members. I hear it only gets worse when you become a nurse. Some of them are so disgusting and disrespectful that it is hard to believe that people like this actually exist in this world. I mean really I believe some of these people are mentally ill seriously! We do back breaking work so that their loved one can get well and they are not even appreciative of that. They can be so condescending and demeaning to us. I really wished that visiting rules could be tightened up. It seems like the must disgusting ones stay in there for hours upon hours, making it difficult to get our job done. I don't understand why these people can't be required to step out of the room when we go in to provide care. Nine times out of ten the patient is fine. It is the family/visitors that come and stir up crap. Do we have to even interact with them? When I walk in to the patients room I usually greet everyone who is in there. I am to the point where from now on I will address the patient only, do what I have to do and get out. Any crap they try to throw at me I will simply refer them to the charge nurse or management. I am at my witts end :banghead: There is so much stress on the job and these people do nothing but add unnecessary stress to what we do. ugggggg. Please help! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

What other areas are there where you can make decent money? What other options are there????

Thanks.

That's the great thing about nursing. There are so many options. I'm looking at either education or healthcare informatics right now, and I'm leaning toward the latter. I am more than willing to forego the shift differentials at this point.

Just a side note, one of the other posts mentioned a fellow poster that wanted to go back to the "old days,"

but I had the impression that the response was a bit condescending. Depending on the perspective, a lot of the policies from the "old days" were preferable to what is now allowed. For example, because of the H1N1 scare our hospital has gone to a policy of restricted visitors - no one under the age of 12, and only immediate family members or members of the patient's household. As a result, the hospital atmosphere is a lot quieter. No screaming in the halls (I'm not necessarily talking about children here), fewer visitors coming in at 2 am, and more time for nurses to complete patient care and education. Most importantly, patients are getting more rest and enjoying the greater amount of peace and quiet. Nurses like it, too.

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Specializes in LTC.

People are ruder. They're entitled and have rights!! But I dunno..it seems like it may be regional...I've never seen family members be THAT rude in our small town hospital...hmm. I feel for you.

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People are ruder. They're entitled and have rights!! But I dunno..it seems like it may be regional...I've never seen family members be THAT rude in our small town hospital...hmm. I feel for you.

It's weird. We're finding it is getting worse among certain ethnic groups. We dread having recent Polish and Ukranian immigrants on our units. One of our nurses is Polish and has been here about 15 years. She's actually told family members that the care here is better than they would have at home and to stop complaining. That their behaviour was a disgrace to their nation and that they wouldn't even attempt it at home (she goes home every year to visit and is very current on Polish health care)

We've had Saudi family members try and impose their cultural beliefs on the roommate (most of our rooms are semi-privates). One guy stands out because he stated that his wife was to be kept entirely curtained at all times, attended to by only female doctors and nurses, no male visitors were to be permitted in the room. As the Charge Nurse said, the roommate has rights too, she wasn't going to call an offduty female doctor in for no specific reason other than her sex. The patient in question was a day surgery that was done late in the day and as a courtesy was being kept overnight. The husband decided to take her home because we wouldn't bend to his demands.

It just seems as if we don't bend fast enough we are accused of bigotry or cultural insenstivity.

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Specializes in Labor and Delivery, clinical research.

wow, perhaps this isn't the job for you... doesn't sound like your a people person at all, you might want to reconsider your options. Don't get me wrong, I don't think you are there to be stepped on but many times a hospitalization is a difficult time people worrying about costs and disruption in lives not to mention new illnesses to deal with. Nursing is not an easy profession sometimes you have to suck it up... assert yourself appropriately and generally enjoy what you do and who you work with.

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I bet a smaller town would be nicer. You're lucky. Take care.

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Specializes in OR, CVOR, Clinical Education, Informatic.

I used to joke that I loved OR because the patients were asleep and I could hang up on the family. Now its not so much of a joke as reality.....

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I deal with this people my own way. I show them how much I care about them and respect them. I show them that I love them more than anything else in the world. The ruder they are the sweeter I become. It drains me a lot and sometimes makes me feel sick but I know one thing: if you engage into the fight with the junk you will be in trouble. Not them because "customer is always right".(I am already sick to hear that but this is America. In my country where I am from this troublemakers would fly out of the window and nobody would care). So, show them your love and sweethess and this way you will the best nurse ever for them and management. It never failed for me.

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Having been in the nursing profession for over 20 years, I am very much aware of the problems that some family members and visitors can cause. However, I am never rude to them or ignore them. Giving advice to ignore or to not address them is definately not the answer. In fact, being rude back causes more problems. A nurse must realize the stress level patients and their family members are in whenever there is an illness. Hospitalizations are scary to the patients and family members. During these times of stress people tend to act out in ways which they usually would not. Therefore, part of being professional is to acknowledge the fact that people are stressed and to try not to take things too personal.

Whenever I enter a patient's room, I introduce myself to the patient and his/her family members. Before I assess the patient, I ask for family and visitors to leave the room out of respect for the patient's privacy. However, if the patient has a significant other whom they want present, I will allow it with the patient's consent, of course. During my assessment, I tell them what I am going to do. For example, I will tell the patient that I am getting his/her blood pressure, temperature, pulse, etc... After I am done assessing the patient, I ask if there are any questions, concerns, unmet needs, etc.... This gives them the opportunity to voice their questions, needs, concerns, opinions, etc... I listen and try to help. If I do not have an answer, I am honest and tell them that I will find out for them. Sometimes that is all that they need, an opportunity to speak out and someone to listen to them.

Another useful tip is whenever you give medication, give a treatment or do a procedure to a patient, tell the patient what you are doing, why, what it is for, etc.... If they question you, do not take it personal. I have had patients say, "I don't remember getting this medication, treatment before or I don't remember anyone other nurse doing it." I would not take it personal, I would tell them that I will double check the orders. If I double check and the orders are correct, I will let them know that I doubled checked and it is correct.

The bottom line is this: do not be rude just because someone else is rude. Be polite, respectful and professional when communicating with the patients, visitors or family members. Try to remember when people are sick, this causes them to be stressed, as well as their family members; therefore, they will react sometimes rudely. Please keep in mind that you should be respected to. If they disrespect you by violence, yelling or cussing, then tell them it is not appropriate, that you care, and you should be treated with respect. You can be stern, but polite.

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I understand good customer service very well. What maintains our society is a lot of rules that most of us try to live by. Those that don't end up in jail. Threatening people, yelling at people, throwing things, punching people will land you in jail in every environment but the health care environment. And it needs to stop.

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You ought to work on an OB floor. There are no rules and regulations...at least that's what visitors feel. We had "daddy chairs" next to the patient beds in the room that fold out into a bed for dad to sleep over with mom and baby (courtesy)...but no, they never used it..no matter how many times they were told, every time you entered the room, either Dad, sister, friend, etc..would be under the covers taking a nap in the next bed!

OR, the visitors put all their gifts and crap on the other bed. I've even had the patient's children jumping on the opposite bed like a trampoline. When you tell them they cannot use that bed as it is reserved for another patient, fireworks light up!

Don't get me wrong, there are some very polite family members and rude ones. In this profession, you just got to learn how to deal with it. Smile, re-iterate the hospital rules, ask them to step out while you assess your patient, and when all else fails and visitors refuse to leave in a specified time (cause maybe there are 10 in the room; you try to be nice and tell them there are too many visitors in the room and they have to leave within 10 minutes and they don't leave... and the other patient would like privacy.. call security!

I love the ones where the big sign states "no children" under 14 years old. But they walk past the nurses desk with toddlers and babies in hand...you tell them they cannot bring the childen into the room, they smile, walk away and next thing you know they are coming down the hall in the other direction sneaking into the room with multi kids in tow!

Unfortunately, it can be a rat race, but we have to deal with it best way, be assertive... unless management will back us up?? :smackingf

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I response to your appeal for help my suggestion would be to print your posting exactly as is and share it with each of your instructors in nursing school - The would be in the best position to help you develop strategies to manage your concerns. Best of luck with nursing school.

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when you are doing care to your patient or resident and the family or visitors are there, let them to get out to the room, because these people will put you in trouble if they dont want how to reposition the patient or resident or any care you are doing to the patient. just explained to them what you are doing to the patient, and i'm pretty sure they will get out.

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