Difficult familily members (VENT)

Maebell1925 · Dec 10, 2009

I hear you -- I got blasted for every little thing wrong in my patients room today -- felt i should have just walked off the floor and quit. the good thing is that the other RNs kept saying this kind of shift can happen. so we must hang in there.

Flatbelly · Dec 10, 2009

but she is a CNA (licensed)

LOL.

Don't let it get to you. I had to deal with a "CNA" who insisted I clean her grandmothers peri area with soap each time the diaper was changed (the pts was on massive ammounts of IV fluids, peed about a gallon a day and had to have a diaper change every hour) and SCRUB OFF the barrier cream each time in order to apply a new portion!

I called the wound nurse, who gladly explained why the idea was complete rubbish. She still didn't believe we weren't neglecting grandma... oh well... :cool:

shiccy · Dec 10, 2009

I find it very VERY helpful to involve these staff members in the care as much as possible. Have them tell YOU how to do something, and if they're wrong or their way is unsafe, then tell them WHY it's unsafe, tell them WHY you are doing it the way you're doing it, and do it that way. After this, sometimes they'll view you in a higher light, give you more credit for doing your job, and (more importantly) sometimes they'll trust you with their loved ones & not second guess your actions again.

Another thing that matters to family member is if you explain details along the way. This is especially important after you gain their confidence ... even IF the patient is vented, and even IF the patient has no higher cognitive functions, it's good communication skills, and the family 'gets it' that you care enough about their family members to talk to them, even though they are so gorked out that the patient probably doesn't care. "Hi Mr. Smith, we're going to turn you to the other side so we can protect your skin" (all while said while putting gloves on). I've found that this way you can melt the patient's huffiness away and make them settle the heck down.

rngolfer53 · Dec 10, 2009

I hear you -- I got blasted for every little thing wrong in my patients room today -- felt i should have just walked off the floor and quit. the good thing is that the other RNs kept saying this kind of shift can happen. so we must hang in there.

Go into home health..............at least the family can't blame you for their house.

Not that they won't try.

blackpants22 · Dec 10, 2009

I find family members to be the most difficult part of my job and the thing that gets to me the most. Most of my patients are great and hardly give me a problem but the family members drive me nuts. I find it helpful to ***** to other coworkers because they understand and have had difficult family members as well. I just can't understand the disrespect...you would never see me be rude to a family member but it seems as though they can treat nurses terrible....they are all smiley and happy when the md comes in but treat the nurse, who is doing the actual caring for the patient, not very nicely. However when I get family members who are great, I am reminded that there are just those difficult people out there who will never be satisfied. I am slowly trying to let go of my irritation for the difficult ones....but I totally understand where you are coming from.

caroladybelle, BSN, RN · Dec 10, 2009

She has a little great grand daughter, who is maybe 18. Well, not only is she a graduate of the University of the Internet, but she is a CNA (licensed) and is Pre-Med at her school where she is an intern. She wouldn't tell me where she was an intern, where she goes to school ect. ect.
Threatening the staff isn't going to get you any favors!!!

Please ask her how on earth that she is a PreMed and an intern at the same time.

A PreMed is nothing. It merely means that she is somewhere in her first 4 years of college. Many people who are premeds never make it to medical school, or get satisfactory grades on the MCAT. After they take MCATs, finish their Bachelor's degree, and jump through several hoops, they apply to medical school. After 3 years of medical school, they have to pass Boards and then do internship, which is paid (not great but better than CNA pay) and generally requires at least 80 hours per week work on clock and more study/work in outside time.

So please explain how she, at 18, can still be both an intern (actually MD that has done Boards) and a premed ( still getting that first BS degree) at the same time. Because while there are MDs that also have a PhD ( I work with research MDs, and they are frequently MD and PhD), they don't have to go back and redo premed classes. Nor would she have time to work the required hours for internship successfully, work as a CNA, and have much time to see Grandma.

Virgo_RN, BSN, RN · Dec 10, 2009

Sounds like a real peach.

RNSC · Dec 10, 2009

Sounds like a real peach.

Yeah a fuzzy round fruit.

classicdame, MSN, EdD · Dec 10, 2009

CNA's are not licensed, but I think you just meant she was acting way above her experience/education level. Some people learn something should be done one way and cannot conceive the possibility that there are other ways, even better other ways. Ask her "Really? What evidence are you basing that upon?" This person sounds like a troublemaker. Document carefully.

PostOpPrincess, BSN, RN · Dec 11, 2009

Go into home health..............at least the family can't blame you for their house.
Not that they won't try.

Oh yes they will! My mom did HH PRN and she went to see the a patient. Seems the family member thought that my mom's job was to clean their house too.

My mother laughed very politely and stated, "I have a maid that cleans MY house, what makes you think I would clean yours?"

Needless to say the family shut up.

Spritenurse1210, BSN, RN · Dec 11, 2009

CNA's are not licensed, but I think you just meant she was acting way above her experience/education level. Some people learn something should be done one way and cannot conceive the possibility that there are other ways, even better other ways. Ask her "Really? What evidence are you basing that upon?" This person sounds like a troublemaker. Document carefully.

Oh I know CNAs aren't licensed. I was using her verbage.