Did you ~EVER~ feel this way??

**RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN** · Aug 10, 2005

Don't worry. I am doing great in school, I went to turn in my application with second thoughts in my head. Somedays I feel that I am not going to make it (afraid of the unknown)....while others I am convinced that I am. I think it is normal. Congrats on going back to school and the best of luck to you.

Sapphy, BSN, RN · Aug 10, 2005

I was 29 with 3 little ones when I went back to school. I was scared to death of everything!! It took a while to get into the swing of things and get back intot he habit of studying every day and having homework but eventually I in the words of a Disney movie "found my groove."

In the course of the 5 years it took me to finish the BSN program we went through so much and I STILL managed to graduate in May with a 3.0. My freshman year went pretty smoothly until my husband lost his job and we were forced to move at Christmas break. Then the following year he was diagnosed Bipolar and that brough on a whole new set of problems.

January 19, 2003, my mother died unexpectedly at the age of 52...I didn't think I could go on. I had missed the first 2 weeks of the semester but the nursing department was WONDERUL. I had one professor, nutrition who was an idiot about it. Made me bring an obituary AND made me take an exam on my first day back whern I had not been there for a single lecture. I was really discouraged then but .everyone told me how proud she was (had been)of me and that she would expect me to finish, so as hard as it was I plodded on.... and had the best semester of my schooling... straight A's. This was my sophomore Year.

January 8th, 2004 my grandmother died unexpectedly at 86.... I say unexpectedly because the weekend before she died she was out dancing till 4am with her 90 yr old boyfriend.

Starting two years with someone I loved very much dying was NOT a good sign, but still I continued on.

After my mother died, my husband still was not working so we were forced to move back in with my father, which was really hard... my sister and her boyfriend still lived here. Put 8 people in ANY house no matter how big and it is REAL hard to find a place to study lol

January of 2005 came and my entire family was waiting with bated breath to see who was going to die but it came and went peacefully. Suddenly there it was, MAY and I was about to graduate. The closer I got to graduation, the more depressed I got. I was fulfilling my mother's dream (she quit nursing school two months before graduation) and no one seemed to care but me. I invited my sister and a few of my Aunts to my pinning ceremony but it really felt as if myself and my husband were the only ones who thought me finishing was a big deal.

The day of my pinning ceremony, my little sister called and asked me to go to lunch with her before the ceremony. While we were sitting at lunch she hands me a card that says "you dumb sh**" on the front of it. I opened it, and she had planned a surprise graduation party for me! I cried like a baby!! She said did you really think that no one cared?? I got her back though by asking her to pin me!! lolol

It was a great party that night and hubby and my cousin had to carry me home lol... don't drink very much so after a few celebratory shots with my sister and my cousins I was pretty much wasted. Went through graduation ceremonies with a hangover and my two favortie Aunts, my husband and one of my favorite cousins watching.

I didn't think at times that I was going to make it. I was very very insecure at the begining and I said a million times I should just give this up. But here I am, 3 months after graduation... passed my boards on July 18th.... and I am living my dream...knowing that my mother is beaming with pride.

If I can make it through nursing school.... anyone with enough smarts can do it! And you girl, sound like you have enough smarts! ~ Sapphy

rn/writer, RN · Aug 10, 2005

In order to rise to a challenge, you first have to have the challenge.

Also, there is a world of difference between high school, where you learn all kinds of abstract things, and nursing school. Yes, there will still be plenty of theory, but as soon as you begin clinicals, you will begin to apply your knowledge. It's great when it all comes together.

While you are waiting, get yourself a small notebook and write down at least one "success story" every day. Jot down something you did that you didn't think you could do, something that helped another person, something that made you feel smart and capable. Then on those baaaad days when you feel like you can do nothing right, take out your notebook and savor some of your past successes. This is good a way to keep your perspective from sinking into the mire.

You're setting a wonderful example for your kids by chasing your dreams.

Good luck,

Miranda

onesmallspark · Aug 10, 2005

While you are waiting, get yourself a small notebook and write down at least one "success story" every day. Jot down something you did that you didn't think you could do, something that helped another person, something that made you feel smart and capable. Then on those baaaad days when you feel like you can do nothing right, take out your notebook and savor some of your past successes. This is good a way to keep your perspective from sinking into the mire.

Ooooo..... I REALLY like this idea! Thanks so much for the suggestion!

leopold · Aug 10, 2005

I think everyone feels that way. I'm still in the middle of my LPN course and thinking about RN and when I read the posts here about RNs I get completely freaked out. I cannot imagine myself as a person with that kind of knowledge. I think one way you can handle this is to turn your fear on it's head. Try looking at this as fun. Every time you accumulate a new piece of knowledge or vocabulary, check it off that list you have in your head. No one expects you to go into the course knowing everything and I think that your realization that you have so much to learn will actually be a benefit. If you go in with all these preconceived notions and the idea that you know a lot of stuff you will be shooting yourself in the foot because you will have to undo a lot of thinking and that takes a lot of time away from what you should actually be learning. Good luck!

Faeriewand, ASN, RN · Aug 10, 2005

Vanilla, everyone has doubts at your stage but just keep going and mark your successes! Each pre-requisite you finish is another success that tells you that yes you can do nursing school!

Saphy what a wonderful and inspirational story! I'm so glad to have read it!

FW :)

SmilingBluEyes · Aug 10, 2005

Remember this cliche (its true like most)

Those who never fail are those who never have tried to do anything.

we all fail at some point. But you can't fear EXCELLENCE so much that you dont' even bother TRYING!!!! Remember that.

SoulShine75 · Aug 11, 2005

Ok, here's the deal. I've decided to apply to the nursing degree program in my town for September 2006. I've wanted this FOREVER!! I have felt nursing is for me from a very young age and kept putting it off and made bad choices right out of high school (went to work instead of continuing on with school). Anywhoo....I am married have two wonderful kids and am SO ready for this. I am working on 6 pre-requisites that I need to even apply and will be working my butt off to get done on time to apply in February. And then the self doubt sets in. I consider myself to be a smart person--never applied myself much during my high school years, but that didn't mean I wasn't smart...so this is probably why now...that I am nearing 30 years old and wondering if I'm smart enough to go the nursing route. I remember hating math in high school...loved science...math was not my strong point...but never really tried either. I have been reading, reading, reading, reading posts after posts on this forum, have talked to other nurses I know and here I am sitting at my computer.....big decision to be made....I so want this--but lack the self esteem to an extent!!!!!! I hear words like pathology, pharmacology math, anatomy etc. etc. etc. millions of drug names and what they do and wonder....am I SMART enough!!!?????!!!!!!
I'm going nuts!! Please don't skip over this post. I need to know how you felt and how you have surprised yourself as the classes went by. I'm not a kid anymore and I have a family involved (who are very supportive). I want this so bad, but am missing "something" self belief???!?!?!?!?!?
Thanks in advance--!

Hi vanillabloom. I think the advice everyone has given you so far has been great. I just wanted to let you know that I've been in your shoes. I was 28 when I started my pre-req's. Did fair in hs, but noting to brag about. I hated math, loved science and english though. I have 4 boys ages and am married to a great guy who supports my going to school. It has been tough making sure everything is taken care of..kids, home, studying, shopping, and making sure to get quality time in with everyone, but it's doable and well worth it. I started out so nervous but have done great and made some really good friends. I just finished my last math class and managed to get an A (never thought I'd do that in math). The point is..I'll be 30 in a couple of weeks and I just got my acceptance letter into nursing school today. I'm scared to death, but the key to success (for me anyway) is determination, time management and a great support system. You'll do great. Dpn't let the past dictate how well you'll do in the future. None of us can a lot of stock into our high school experience. Heck all HS was for was to socialize anyway. LOL :chuckle When you know there is something you want to do you'll put your mind to it and do it. Good luck to you!:balloons:

Christy

krob0729 · Aug 11, 2005

Remember this cliche (its true like most)
Those who never fail are those who never have tried to do anything.
we all fail at some point. But you can't fear EXCELLENCE so much that you dont' even bother TRYING!!!! Remember that.

This is so true, My first year of nursing school was in 2002. Made it through the fall sem like a champ. Got to finals in the spring, 2 months before graduation, and failed pedi by 1/10th of a point (74.4) Talk about devestated. :crying2: I was so afraid to come home and tell my husband who had been the sole breadwinner that entire year that I had failed and would have to go back next spring to retake pedi. I hated pediatrics anyways. Never wanted to work in that field. Well, the next day, after I cried my eyes out the night before to my husband, I came home to find a large dozen of pink roses sitting on the coffee table from him with a card that read "I am so proud of all that you have accomplished. Don't give up. I love you" whoa was i blown away.. well the folling fall i took more classes toward my RN that I knew I would apply for after LVN school. Might as well fill that time with things I needed to know anyway. Come the spring I was back in my pedi class. Then came finals. I studied soooo hard, even with a study group. I got a B in the class...woohooo i just might graduate in Aug i thought. Sure enough I passed summer semester and graduated. The funny thing is that now i work in a PEDIATRIC LTC FACILITY....how funny is that????I love it there. Maybe God had a plan for me at this place and that's why I took Pedi twice. To make sure I knew it to take care of these poor babies that need someone to take care of them.

krob0729 · Aug 11, 2005

By the way I'm 35, and didn't even graduate HS so if I can do this I know you can.

tramalady45 · Aug 11, 2005

Ok, here's the deal. I've decided to apply to the nursing degree program in my town for September 2006. I've wanted this FOREVER!! I have felt nursing is for me from a very young age and kept putting it off and made bad choices right out of high school (went to work instead of continuing on with school). Anywhoo....I am married have two wonderful kids and am SO ready for this. I am working on 6 pre-requisites that I need to even apply and will be working my butt off to get done on time to apply in February. And then the self doubt sets in. I consider myself to be a smart person--never applied myself much during my high school years, but that didn't mean I wasn't smart...so this is probably why now...that I am nearing 30 years old and wondering if I'm smart enough to go the nursing route. I remember hating math in high school...loved science...math was not my strong point...but never really tried either. I have been reading, reading, reading, reading posts after posts on this forum, have talked to other nurses I know and here I am sitting at my computer.....big decision to be made....I so want this--but lack the self esteem to an extent!!!!!! I hear words like pathology, pharmacology math, anatomy etc. etc. etc. millions of drug names and what they do and wonder....am I SMART enough!!!?????!!!!!!
I'm going nuts!! Please don't skip over this post. I need to know how you felt and how you have surprised yourself as the classes went by. I'm not a kid anymore and I have a family involved (who are very supportive). I want this so bad, but am missing "something" self belief???!?!?!?!?!?
Thanks in advance--!

Of course you can do it!!!! It sounds really intimidating because you have no background in it. Believe me, if someone would have told me 5 years ago that I was going to be a nurse, I would have told you that you should stop doing crack 'cause it kills. I had zero background in math or science, in fact dropped out of high school, passed the CHSPE test here at 16 and went on to years of rough partying. At 25 I decided to go to school. I could barely even divide let alone pronounce half of the names of my pre- reqs! I graduated this year with 3 degrees and on Deans list with a 3.5GPA! You can do it. I have learned if you have faith in god, and more important, faith in yourself, you can and will do it. If you can dream it, you can achieve it! Good luck to you!