Death Walks the Halls

One of my nursing students recently had a run in with the darkness. Had it not been for her colleagues, myself and the nursing staff, she may have imploded. She wants to be a mother baby nurse and had never the occasion to experience death. She told me that she did not like adults and was much better with kids and moms. She actually texted me and said that she thought we should not be on the floor while this was happening. We took a long walk outside around the campus and among other things I told her that death is not partial to the elderly. She recounted a family member of a friend who she had witnessed some of the grief with and said it was like she knew it was there but until that day she had kept it at bay. As we all know, who have had patients die despite our best efforts, the more we talk about it doesn't make it go away either, but it does help our psyche's heal enough to continue caring.

Thank you for that wonderful story.

Beautifully written!

"Organichombre", how lucky this student is to have you as an instructor!  A nursing instructor who takes a walk with her student and encourages her to express her feelings?  Going through nursing school boot camp, I felt that I needed to constantly show how strong I was (physically and emotionally) to pass my clinicals. 

Wow, beautiful!

Thank you all!  

Well done! Here's an alternate viewpoint.

Life is a transient gift, we keep it for our allotted time then it must be returned to the (source -maker -deity -cosmos -infinity). Like rain falls to the river and then returns to the sea. 

Death is not an enemy, he is part of the eternal cycle.

Excellent, compassionate article. Thank you for sharing your experience.

 

Well-written and full of compassion. The only thing I think may not have been considered is the fact that there really are some fates worse than death---namely, going on like this patient did. Sometimes when life has become a burden and there is nothing left but suffering, death comes like a friend to release us from our pain and distress. Yes, our instinct as nurses is to fight it, but our bodies are designed to be used for a given number of years and then they wear out. It is no kindness to keep flogging a failing heart, kidneys, lungs and so on when it's our time to go. That's why I found ICU nursing so depressing; so many desperately ill patients, so few DNRs. I'm against assisted suicide, but there are times when allowing nature to take its course---with excellent comfort care, to be sure---is in the patient's best interests.

Just a few of my thoughts. Otherwise, I enjoyed this article and encourage the OP to keep writing!

Death is only depressing if we take a "materialistic" perspective that doesn't recognize the eternal nature of the human spirit.  The alternative perspective is that "the other side" is more real than this world and when we "transition" we are actually moving into the world of spirit, of life and leaving this dismal abode of temporary habitation.

Death is not the enemy.  Death is a part of life.  The only two things we MUST do in this life are be born and to die.  There are stages to death as there are stages in birth.  As professionals, we have a duty to recognize these stages and assist our patients through them.  Medicine is helpful when it enhances and improves life - even at a short term cost for a longer term gain.  When it ceases to provide gain, it is time to begin the management of death.  

You have written beautifully and the sacredness of death, as the sacredness of birth, shines through your writing.  But please, lets stop thinking of death as an enemy.  

 

Beautifully, wonderfully written....but I must disagree with the end- if death came tonight, on yourshift, it would be the kindest, most compassionate thing for that patient. I know allowing death to happen goes against nursing instinct, but its reality. When I tell people I've spent almost 12 years working with hospice patients, the #1 question is this- "how do you do it?"

I do it understanding that this is the natural process....that my patients are trapped in a broken body that no longer serves them and, in fact, is causing them pain....and that in death, there is freedom and peace. Best wishes on your journey ❤