Dear Abbey, about a nurse

traumahawk99 · Jun 5, 2006

that's about the dumbest thing i've read in a while. who is dear abby anyway? someone who dyes her hair to look older and wiser? it's so phoney that it's the cheese-whiz of advice columns. not to mention that "dear abby" is so dumb herself that she doesn't understand how hospitals work.

i don't think the nurse did anything wrong. for crying out loud, do you have to watch everything you say to the nth degree because someone will report you? someone needs to get a life!

sassafrazzled · Jun 5, 2006

As nurses we have to be aware that we are dealing with human beings that have lives and issues outside of the illnesses we are treating them for. I have read numerous threads on this forum discussing the impact of family dynamics on our work. The comment was inappropriate regardless of the nurse's intentions. If she was trying to educate the wife, she should have said something like "anesthesia can cause some memory and judgement problems until it wears off... he may say things that don't make much sense... etc" The comment she made was more suited for the break room than for patient teaching. For all we know the man might have had fantasies about this other woman and couldn't distinguish reality from dreams at that point.

As far as discipline, the nursing supervisor should have been told. That nurse probably has no idea what kind of trouble she has caused and it would probably be a giant learning experience for her.

SharonH, RN · Jun 5, 2006

But is it really a fact that he WAS cheating? Simply because he made those statements while coming out of anesthesia?
I think that a point is getting missed here and that is that the theory about anesthesia being some powerful truth serum that compels people to speak the truth is a highly underproven and controversial science at best, and little more than a myth at the very least.
Often times, the truth comes out when people have had enough alcohol in their systems, that does not make alcohol a truth serum.
Impaired judgement from anything, be it alcohol or propofol, can make people say and do things that they wouldn't normally do, it doesn't make their statements any more true.
If anything, his statements are even less credible due to the fact that he stated them under anesthesia. I hope that wife doesn't have any big dreams about using his statements in the PACU as her ticket to some big divorce settlement because that "evidence" will be laughed right out of court.
And no matter how one wants to divide up the blame for what went on in the PACU that day, whether or not the nurse is responsible for ruining someone's marriage, she still gave out very misleading and even outright incorrect information to the family member about the effects of anesthesia.
Not only are the nurse's statements so ignorant to the point of embarrassment to be coming from any PACU nurse, i.e.
"You know, you can find out anything from them when they're coming out of anesthesia. They are completely incapable of lying....." but it was also very irresponsible and caused the wife to genuinely believe that if you pump someone full of anesthetic agents, they will spew out nothing but the truth.
She probably could have gotten the same information out of him by getting him drunk enough on a given evening.

I must disagree with you. Whether or not he was cheating is NOT the issue and in fact, that is my larger point. The obvious problems in their marriage are just that: their problem. The fact that she had suspicions and chose this way to try to confirm or deny them points to some huge issues between the two of them. But the point is, that those are their issues and it does not become the nurses' responsibility because she made an offhand comment which may or not be true.

sjt9721, BSN, RN · Jun 5, 2006

As nurses we have to be aware that we are dealing with human beings that have lives and issues outside of the illnesses we are treating them for. I have read numerous threads on this forum discussing the impact of family dynamics on our work. The comment was inappropriate regardless of the nurse's intentions. If she was trying to educate the wife, she should have said something like "anesthesia can cause some memory and judgement problems until it wears off... he may say things that don't make much sense... etc" The comment she made was more suited for the break room than for patient teaching. For all we know the man might have had fantasies about this other woman and couldn't distinguish reality from dreams at that point.
As far as discipline, the nursing supervisor should have been told. That nurse probably has no idea what kind of trouble she has caused and it would probably be a giant learning experience for her.

Nicely stated.

But I don't think that actual disciplinary action is called for. This nurse (aka 'person in scrubs') just needs reminding to be careful when making such comments. My gut feeling is that this person made the comment in order to lighten the situation & perhaps get a smile from the patient's wife. The key to using humor in our profession is knowing the appropriate time and audience for such humor.

I admit I did cringe when I read the column the other day (okay, I also admit that I read the column!). Regarding the postings of talking to the nurse manager/supervisor, I don't remember it saying that this was in a hospital setting. Remember that certain physicians do employ nurses into their practices. In that case, the physician would be the appropriate chain of command, if indeed it needed reporting. (although I disapprove of the individual being labeled as the physician's property!)

:typing Nice discussion everyone!

Gromit · Jun 5, 2006

that's about the dumbest thing i've read in a while. who is dear abby anyway? someone who dyes her hair to look older and wiser? it's so phoney that it's the cheese-whiz of advice columns. not to mention that "dear abby" is so dumb herself that she doesn't understand how hospitals work.
i don't think the nurse did anything wrong. for crying out loud, do you have to watch everything you say to the nth degree because someone will report you? someone needs to get a life!

(bold) to a large degree, YES!!! -its a problem called "Too Many Lawyers" (TML) and thanks to this, people will try to sue over anything they think they can get money out of.

Am I REALLY as paranoid as this sounds? No, not really, but yes you should watch whatever you say -at least while on duty. It can ALWAYS come back to haunt you (or even help you -rarely but true).

Used to read Dear Abby -thought it was entertaining, but over the last several years or so, I just found it irritating, and haven't bothered much. Abby isn't nearly as wise as she thinks she is -and those who would write to a column seeking advice are even less capable of taking the advice than they think they are.

Mishy1025 · Jun 5, 2006

I have had a couple of surgeries within the past year and when I was about ready to go under I was giddy but I could control what I would say. This is for the same when I came out all I can say is that I was confused, but certain medications can have different effects on people. I think that along with another person who posted it is not the drs. responsiblity to discipline a nurse at all. A complaints should be made and the adminstration should handle it.

chadash · Jun 5, 2006

Would'nt it have been neat if she had asked "Where did you hide the money?"

Gromit · Jun 5, 2006

exactly what I said (as for where complaints should go) to Dear Abby. As you say, some meds also have amnesiac properties (like one of my favorites -versed) -the whole thing sounded hokey to me, tho. Just doesn't sound like any nurse I've ever known, and how do we even know it WAS a nurse? The guy heard what he said he heard, through a curtain! He never saw them.

southern_rn_brat · Jun 5, 2006

I'm glad I'm not the only one that thought "WTH???" when I read that column. :uhoh3:

luvmy3kids · Jun 5, 2006

Ok between her comment on this one, and the one about regarding people in scrubs with caution I've had enough. I wrote to her. I doubt she'll even get it but maybe if she does she'll think twice next time she has something to say about nurses.

What did she say regarding people in scrubs??? I missed that one! :confused:

nursejohio, ASN, RN · Jun 6, 2006

If I remember the thing about people in scrubs, it was from "Ask Marilyn" not Abby. Either way, it said that people who wear scrubs in public are trying to project trustworthiness or carrying all kinds of horrible bugs with total disregard for public safety :angryfire There was a thread about it on here when it happened if you want all the gory details

Gromit · Jun 6, 2006

guess they don't believe that sometimes we wear scrubs just because we are on the way home. And they tend to be comfortable. I never cared for 'all inclussive' reasons -people do different things for different reasons. If I'm in mine, I'm either on my way IN, or just got OUT of work. Sometimes the wife and I will catch breakfast together on my way home. I'm not going to go home after a 12hr shift (which means I've actually been 'on the go' for about 13 hrs or so) just to change, so I can go out again, to crackerbarrel.