Dear Abbey, about a nurse

Bruce RN · Jun 6, 2006

I must disagree with you. Whether or not he was cheating is NOT the issue and in fact, that is my larger point. The obvious problems in their marriage are just that: their problem. The fact that she had suspicions and chose this way to try to confirm or deny them points to some huge issues between the two of them. But the point is, that those are their issues and it does not become the nurses' responsibility because she made an offhand comment which may or not be true.

I agree that whether or not he was cheating is not the issue either.

I also agree that the wife was sneaky and inappropriate in her methods of probing her husband while he was coming out of anesthesia.

My post was responding to your saying "the fact that he was cheating" when in fact, it's not a fact simply because he said that he was doing so while under the influence of anesthesia.

What people say while under anesthesia cannot be taken as valid testimony.

I will disagree however, with your labeling the nurse's statements as "an offhand comment."

Her comments were highly inaccurate and based on no real evidence or research and it hurt both the patient and family.

As licensed nurses, we cannot go around making such "offhand comments" because many lay people will take what we say about things like medications very seriously.

No nurse who ever went to any reputable school of nursing (let alone an actual PACU nurse - for crying out loud) has ever been taught that people are "completely incapable of lying" when they are under or coming out of anesthesia and therefore should not say such things unless newer evidence and research has been done to prove otherwise.

If she was a nurse who normally did not deal with anesthesia in her practice setting, and she "heard" rumors or stories about anesthesia making people tell the truth, then that would be the time for her to start doing research of her own on the subject.

And until she could find any solid info on it, she should restrict her underproven comments to her co-workers in the breakroom who as licensed health professionals, would not take her comments quite as seriously as a family member would.

Bruce RN · Jun 6, 2006

i don't think the nurse did anything wrong. for crying out loud, do you have to watch everything you say to the nth degree because someone will report you? someone needs to get a life!

I totally disagree. She most certainly made inappropriate comments and did plenty wrong.

As much as we've all encountered patients and family members who think that they know more than we do about nursing, medications, etc. the vast majority still take what we say very seriously and when you get up in the morning and put on those scrubs and nametag with RN, LPN, CNA, lab tech, etc. after it, many people will assume that what you say about medical related things are completely true and would not question it.

Bruce RN · Jun 6, 2006

i don't think the nurse did anything wrong. for crying out loud, do you have to watch everything you say to the nth degree because someone will report you? someone needs to get a life!

I respectfully disagree.

She most certainly did plenty wrong.

You don't have to watch everything you say just because someone will report you.

You must watch everything you say in front of patients and family members simply because every morning or night that you wake up and put on those scrubs and nametag that flashes RN, LPN/LVN, CNA, lab tech, RT, EMT-P, or whatever, many people will take what you say very seriously and it could hurt them, as in this situation.

That wife was taking for granted that since the woman talking to her in scrubs worked there, she was a competent and knowledgeable source of information about anesthesia and had no reason to believe otherwise.

bellcollector · Jun 6, 2006

I respectfully disagree.
She most certainly did plenty wrong.
You don't have to watch everything you say just because someone will report you.
You must watch everything you say in front of patients and family members simply because every morning or night that you wake up and put on those scrubs and nametag that flashes RN, LPN/LVN, CNA, lab tech, RT, EMT-P, or whatever, many people will take what you say very seriously and it could hurt them, as in this situation.
That wife was taking for granted that since the woman talking to her in scrubs worked there, she was a competent and knowledgeable source of information about anesthesia and had no reason to believe otherwise.

Well said. As professionals we are 100% responsible for what we say. We had better make darn sure when speaking with patients and families that we know what we are saying is true and accurate. I also feel that all healthcare providers are my coworkers and we all have the right and duty to correct one of our own when we see or hear something wrong.

Blee O'Myacin, BSN, RN · Jun 6, 2006

to rule out Guillian-Barre (turned out to be food poisioning, and he was discharged with hardly a limp thank G-d). My point is that the doc sedated him with some versed beforehand, and said "if we ask you who your girlfriend is, you might tell us". My son laughed and said "I'll never tell!" and we assured him that we would not be asking him questions like that. He did well with the versed, until the crying jags started. Before that, he loved everything and everyone. From the needle in his back "I LOVE this!" to the homeless man in the stretcher outside his cubicle "I LOVE him!! Can he come in and hang out with me?"

I wonder if this ER doc reads Dear Abby? :lol2:

Blee

Foxfour · Jun 6, 2006

"...do you have to watch everything you say to the nth degree because someone will report you?"

I totally agree with you. Even if we do think before we speak, it will be interpreted by each listener in a different way. This thread is a good example of that.

Also as some have suggested, how do we know it was a nurse that said this, and there is something else I was wondering, how do we know the MD was a male? Yes, the man that wrote, "Dear Abbey" said, "he" but that might have been an assumation just as well as it was a "nurse" who made the comment.

SharonH, RN · Jun 6, 2006

As licensed nurses, we cannot go around making such "offhand comments" because many lay people will take what we say about things like medications very seriously.
No nurse who ever went to any reputable school of nursing (let alone an actual PACU nurse - for crying out loud) has ever been taught that people are "completely incapable of lying" when they are under or coming out of anesthesia and therefore should not say such things unless newer evidence and research has been done to prove otherwise.
If she was a nurse who normally did not deal with anesthesia in her practice setting, and she "heard" rumors or stories about anesthesia making people tell the truth, then that would be the time for her to start doing research of her own on the subject.
And until she could find any solid info on it, she should restrict her underproven comments to her co-workers in the breakroom who as licensed health professionals, would not take her comments quite as seriously as a family member would.

I will concede your point on that matter.

I just do not think the resulting breakup of the marriage is her fault.

Redlady · Jun 6, 2006

What I think got overlooked here is the Nurse didn't ask the question, the wife did. If she really didn't want to know, then don't ask the question. If someone tells you that Borox is deadly when ingested, and you go out and eat it, are they responsible for your death? No. Is it unfortunate? Sure. But, the nurse didn't tell her "If you're wondering if he's ever cheated on you, now is the time to ask".

Live by the old addage your parents taught you - If you're not going to like the answer, don't ask the question.

nursenika · Jun 7, 2006

This that shows that we nurses need to be vigilant about what is appopriate and what is not. The nurse has a certain responsibility to her patient to ensure that he is safe. This includes mental, as well as physical. Unless asked, this information was not necessary to share.

lilrn03 · Jun 7, 2006

Not if she's employed by him. My GI specialist's group owns their own free standing facility. The nurses there are hired by the doctors and employed by them. I know, because I asked about getting a job there. They have the whole process down to "T" and I much preferred having my proceedures done there, than at the hopsital.

Also, it is likely this person couldn't report it to the board, as she would be unable to identify the particular nurse, where the doctor may be able to.

If on the other hand the procedure was done in a hospital, then no, the doctor wouldn't be responsible for the nurse.

Sue

yes....but he doesnt have a right to counsel his nurse because this nurse isn't his nurse. she is an autonomous healthcare professional.

scampi710 · Jun 7, 2006

Since "Dear Abby" is the authority on all matters, is the columnist now responsible for all the millions of spouses who will as questions when their loved one is in PACU? .... and take the responses for truth?

I think so.....it will now generate more mail for the syndicated column.

Gromit · Jun 7, 2006

Well, those that choose to get their decision-making advice from a columnist are fare less wise than they previously belived themselves to be. At least thats MY opinion.