Dealing with Violent Children

Nurses General Nursing

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hello everyone. my question stems from my personal experience. i have a brother and sister-in-law to often take their children (my niece and nephew) to her mother's house where her brother and her two nephews live there. these boys are incredibly violent...and not just an over-reacting to boys being boys, but utterly violent. they have scratched, punched, thrown harmful things at my niece. just recently, one threatened her life with scissors. the parents are well aware of this and still continue to take them there so they can spend time with her mother. my niece is in the same class as my daughter. my niece is add and is always aggressive towards my daughter. when she experiences these traumas with these boys, she winds up being even more aggressive towards my daughter. i have talked to my daughter about these children and how to avoid them, how to not be like them or around them. i have no control over the other children. i wanted to know from people who have experienced these types of children, (7 & 9 years old), and how to handle this type of situation? is there a situation to handle at all? are these boys at risk for schizophrenic? do they need mental health care or cps? are these clinical manifestations for either the boys, or my niece to become violent adolescents and/or adults?

any information will be greatly appreciated.

The children I feel are the abusers, what can CPS do about the children being abusers?

this statement really struck me.

it is not natural for children to be abusive.

whether it is r/t them being abused or given free reign, w/o parameters, remains to be seen.

either way, the parents are at fault and need help.

explain the situation to cps and they will know what to do.

other than sharing your misgivings with your brother, there is no one else to talk to.

this is so sad and obviously, dangerous.

but i maintain, this has everything to do w/the parents.

best of everything to all of you.

leslie

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Keep your kids away from them, family or not. They are only going to get more and more rotten as time goes on if they are not stopped. And even if no one else in the family is concerned, there IS a huge problem there that needs to be addressed before the kid takes scissors to grandma and says 'the voices told me to do it...'not saying the kid is schizophrenic. Probably not. Working on sociopathic? Maybe.....

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Specializes in Pediatrics, ER.
hello everyone. my question stems from my personal experience. i have a brother and sister-in-law to often take their children (my niece and nephew) to her mother's house where her brother and her two nephews live there. these boys are incredibly violent...and not just an over-reacting to boys being boys, but utterly violent. they have scratched, punched, thrown harmful things at my niece. just recently, one threatened her life with scissors. the parents are well aware of this and still continue to take them there so they can spend time with her mother. my niece is in the same class as my daughter. my niece is add and is always aggressive towards my daughter. when she experiences these traumas with these boys, she winds up being even more aggressive towards my daughter. i have talked to my daughter about these children and how to avoid them, how to not be like them or around them. i have no control over the other children. i wanted to know from people who have experienced these types of children, (7 & 9 years old), and how to handle this type of situation? is there a situation to handle at all? are these boys at risk for schizophrenic? do they need mental health care or cps? are these clinical manifestations for either the boys, or my niece to become violent adolescents and/or adults?

any information will be greatly appreciated.

first of all, your niece has add, she isn't add. that bothers me. second of all, no one can answer those questions for you. yes, it sure sounds like they have some sort of mood disorder or lax parenting and too much tv, but only a psychiatrist can diagnose with accuracy. thirdly, i suggest you look up schizophrenia.........

i think you should stop speculating and start being proactive. if it bothers you then remove your child from the situation. the other alternatives are complex but if you feel like everyone around them is in imminent danger then you need to decide for yourself if you should call dcf. sounds like fst may not be a bad idea but again, they aren't your children and you can immediately control the situation by not allowing your daughter to be alone with them. otherwise, it's up to their parents to make those decisions. i don't think anyone can correctly advise you on how they will turn out as teenagers and adults.

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Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.
this statement really struck me.

it is not natural for children to be abusive.

whether it is r/t them being abused or given free reign, w/o parameters, remains to be seen.

either way, the parents are at fault and need help.

explain the situation to cps and they will know what to do.

Thank you.

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Specializes in Acute Care Psych, DNP Student.

I'm thinking some of you live in states where CPS actually does something. Or maybe this is what we like to tell ourselves.

BTDT. In my state CPS does not do anything unless there are broken bones or lady partsl/anal tears (clear and easy evidence).

I've gotten all upset in the past, years ago, when I came across situations like this, and I called CPS. Nothing was ever done. I'm talking about my experience as a citizen calling in concerns, not as a nurse, btw.

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Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.
I'm thinking some of you live in states where CPS actually does something. Or maybe this is what we like to tell ourselves.

BTDT. In my state CPS does not do anything unless there are broken bones or lady partsl/anal tears (clear and easy evidence).

I've gotten all upset in the past, years ago, when I came across situations like this, and I called CPS. Nothing was ever done. I'm talking about my experience as a citizen calling in concerns, not as a nurse, btw.

That stinks but please don't let it be an excuse not to call next time you think a child needs protection.

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Just don't expose your children to kids like that. You'll never be able to change someone else's parenting style. Praise your children for their good behavior, and if you have to go over tell your kids they are welcome to stay with you, and let them bring their own toys. Personally I'd be pretty up front about why the kids aren't playing together, but that's me.

This is an interesting coincidence - some friends of my son told me yesterday that when they were at the park recently they saw two little boys, about 3-4 years old, who were being egged on by the adults to fight. And this went on for a long time. The boys would shove each other into the ground and pound on each other.

Of course my question to the couple was . . . why did you not walk over there and intervene?

20/20 has been doing a series called "What Would You Do?" where they set up scenarios in public to see if folks will intervene. Last week it was Fraternity/Sorority hazing (really horrible stuff) and also whether anyone would help out if someone fell in a faint to the ground . . if it was a well-dressed person or a homeless person, would that make a difference?

I probably would have walked over and intervened with the little boys

It is the parents fault that these kids misbehave. And I agree with canoehead - just don't let your daughter be around them.

steph

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Specializes in Acute Care Psych, DNP Student.
This is an interesting coincidence - some friends of my son told me yesterday that when they were at the park recently they saw two little boys, about 3-4 years old, who were being egged on by the adults to fight. And this went on for a long time. The boys would shove each other into the ground and pound on each other.

Of course my question to the couple was . . . why did you not walk over there and intervene?

Steph, I confess I wouldn't have directly intervened in that situation. I'd be physically afraid of those adults egging the kids on. But I do know I would have called 911 from my cell phone to report a violent fight involving children. And I'd stay until the cops got there and report what I saw.

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Steph, I confess I wouldn't have directly intervened in that situation. I'd be physically afraid of those adults egging the kids on. But I do know I would have called 911 from my cell phone to report a violent fight involving children. And I'd stay until the cops got there and report what I saw.

Actually - you are right. Calling 911 is the smarter response.

I did intervene in a domestic abuse situation years ago - and the guy came after me.

So, 911 = good idea!

steph

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Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.
Actually - you are right. Calling 911 is the smarter response.

I did intervene in a domestic abuse situation years ago - and the guy came after me.

So, 911 = good idea!

steph

Lol, yeah my big fat mouth always gets the best of me but absolutely calling 911 and waiting in case they have questions is the better way.

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Lol, yeah my big fat mouth always gets the best of me but absolutely calling 911 and waiting in case they have questions is the better way.

Yeah, but those cops better get there fast because I don't know how long I can stand there and watch two little kids being egged on to violence like that.

steph

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Specializes in ER/Ortho.

Without seeing the children there is no way to know if it is a mental health issue or a parenting issue. Since it is both children I would lean more toward a parenting issue. Anyway, I would be very up front about their behavior with your family, and be very careful about monitoring your children while they are there. You never know when something will get out of control, and someone will get hurt for real (scissors situation). I personally would not be shy about having a nice conversation with my little niece and nephew about their behavior. I would personally would tell them that what they do in their own house is between them, and their parents, but when they hurt my kids its my business. I would let them know that if they do hurt my children I will scoup them up right in front of their parents, and give them a spanking like they have never seen. You will be amazed how children often learn to adapt their behavior to the expectations of those around them. I have had children come to my home whose parents say they are horrible, and they behave really well because I expect them to, and they understand those expectations.

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