I went to a family BBQ today to celebrate the 4th, and my cousin decided to take the liberty upon herself to tell me that she doesn't think I'm capable of completing nursing school, that it's too hard for me, and that I should consider other options. This happened out of nowhere. My uncle asked how I was doing in school, and she just jumped in with her negativity.
I have my days where I really doubt myself, I think things like "Will I be a good nurse?" "Do I have what it takes?" but at the end of the day, I am sure of what I want to do. For me, nursing is my calling, not just a career I picked out of a hat. I would be lying if I said I was not extremely hurt and offended by what she said today. The most bizarre part of all of this is that we aren't close, and we never speak about my academics or school, in fact, we don't really talk much at all. Her comment was truly out of left field.
The point of my post is, has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you handle the haters and the naysayers?
I feel your pain...it sucks when your own family members don't support you...
Maybe she is jealous because she wants to be the only "successful" one in the family. I know it hurts but don't let one person change your path-prove her wrong...and make sure you go out of your way to thank her for her motivational words when you graduate-
There are just some people in this world who feel it's their life's calling to be a premiere saboteur. The kind of schlep who'd throw a drowning man an anchor!!! You know the kind --- they just love to sabotage your efforts, like offering you a scrumptious dessert when you're dieting!!!
Another poster said it that success is the best revenge. So true! Do your thing and prove her wrong!
Just one thing, though. You'll notice that many other posters all have met with others who tried to discourage them - be they family, friends, classmates or co-workers. You too will most likely continue to run across saboteurs as you go thru school. You do need to develop a tough skin, or else they'll all drive you nuts, make you pop an ulcer, or give you headaches.
Forget them!!! They thrive on a defeatist attitude. They are just crabs always trying to pull each other down the barrel. Just remember...you will always have a great inspiring impact in this life by thinking positive. The patients are lucky to have u guys as their nurses because you actually want to make a difference! U guys are awesome!
I worked for the phone company for 20 years and always felt kind of empty. When we all got laid off I said I was going to go to physical therapy assistant school. Everybody that knew me fell on the floor laughing, including my husband. Well I graduated from PTA school with a 4.0 average. Second or 3rd in class. Did that for a couple of years and decided to go to nursing school. Key in some more laughing from relatives. Graduated with 3.9 average. I think I was top in the class. I don't remember unimportant things like that.
Have been a nurse now for about 10 years. 1.5 as med/surg, 7.5 as ER nurse and ER travel nurse, now 1/5 as ICU nurse. Nobody is laughing at me now.
I spent an enormous time studying and it was well worth it. I feel as if I get a lot of respect from my fellow nurses and docs. I am loving being a nurse and helping people, and saving lives. Nothing cooler than beating the grim reaper.
The fact that you are asking yourself, "will I be a good nurse? Do I have what it takes?" shows you will be a good nurse! Looks like you are putting your heart into a career you care about.
The haters in my family act disappointed that I am "just" a nurse. I get the "but you're so smart.. Why not medical school or physical therapy?" lines. I think they imagine that I empty bedpans all day or something. Oh well, I'm just happy that they haven't had to be hospitalized and experience nursing care firsthand.
What exactly does your cousin do that makes her the "end all, be all" of determining if you have what it takes?
I wish I knew! She's a lawyer, so you would figure she would be satisfied enough with her own life to not wish ill on others, but apparently not. I can't say I'm that surprised because she is very "forceful" with her opinion on things, I guess I just thought my career choice would be off limits. Guess I was wrong. She made herself look like a fool, randomly deciding to come out with her negativity.
I can't thank all of you enough! I have supportive people in my life, both friends and family, but it's really not quite the same as encouraging words from people who have been in my exact position, so I really do appreciate all of your kind words, as you have all either been there or still are. It is really awesome that all of you have proved your naysayers wrong as well! I will use her negativity as motivation, but I won't carry it around with me... that would give her too much satisfaction!
Omg, I can so relate to this!!! It's like why can't they be happy for you! sometimes you will just have to ignore your family and distant yourself from them. I hate to say it but it is like that in a lot of families out here. I wish you the best of luck with your career hunni!!!
Red35
202 Posts
I feel your pain...it sucks when your own family members don't support you...
Maybe she is jealous because she wants to be the only "successful" one in the family. I know it hurts but don't let one person change your path-prove her wrong...and make sure you go out of your way to thank her for her motivational words when you graduate-