how do you deal with disappointment?

Jules A, MSN · Dec 17, 2010

Good question and being disappointed is human so we all have to learn to deal with it. Something I try to do is always have a plan B and/or plan C which often diminishes my disappointment and definitely allows me to move forward quickly when plan A doesn't pan out. Take care.

Sarah010101 · Dec 17, 2010

As the above poster stated, I try and have a backup plan. I guess you never really know... I had no idea I wanted to be an RN until half way through my first university year--in a math class actually. So I took the leap of faith and just went for it. Do I know if i made the right choice? No, but what I do know is that I made a choice, and that whether it ends in happiness or something less than that, I chose something, I did it, and I finished it and I will move on.

ocean waves · Dec 17, 2010

Hello. I agree with the former writer that it is good to develop alternative plans for nursing jobs in case the current nursing position does not work out smoothly. Fortunately, the nursing profession is a career in which there are oh so many specialties. Many of us, including me, have made a good effort in one type of nursing work and been disappointed when we discovered that for whatever reason the job was not a good "fit" for us. At that point, some of us handle the job disappointment by back tracking to a former nursing position which may have been a better match for our prepartion and interests. Best wishes!

Davey Do · Dec 17, 2010

Something I try to do is always have a plan B and/or plan C which often diminishes my disappointment

It has been said that we spend most of our lives in Plan B.

Life is like game of Chess. Which is a lot like Nursing. If we are not thinking at least two or three moves ahead, we're gonna get hung up on some unforseen circumstance.

It has also been said that youth is wasted on the wrong people. If we only knew then what we know now. So, with age comes experience which begats knowledge.

In you case, Destiny12, you are seeking information from others; opening yourself to input and direction is a wise thing to do.

The best to you.

Dave

Edit: In retrospect, I'm not sure if I addressed your question, how do you deal with disappoinment adequately. I think that the answer could have been summed up with: Learn something from your actions. That way, may not have gotten what you want, but you have gained something from your experience for your future actions. I think that's what we're all trying to say.

JPReed · Dec 17, 2010

[color=#014269]first, one must learn to accept reality that we don’t win every time. to me, disappointment is quite closely linked with expectation. despite always trying my best to achieve specific goals, i’ve learnt over the years to widen my acceptance ranges (but without saying that out right) and regularly having contingency plans to fall back on. secondly, think positive and always learn from our mistakes. third, try looking at issues from different prospective and constantly assessing the justification of our disappointment. trying our best may not always be good enough. one may be lacking that special something to get ahead. a fair and objective analysis is just deemed necessary to bring about improvements. fourth, take it easy and be happy. after all, life is short and i've realized that the hard way. my late husband always set very high standard on everyone and almost always disappointed. why getting so uptight on everything. he didn't even live long enough to see his daughters graduated. we might as well live out our life in joy rather than in constant disappointment.

Guest717236 · Dec 17, 2010

Consider for now staying with the original plan. Life evolves and maybe the time is not

right yet for the new path.

In nursing many people enjoy different

specialties throughout their career. Sometimes they select the specialty,

other times a specialty selects them (by way of a job being available in that

area).

Go with the flow......if you were enjoying the new path, that

experience may come back around at a different more appropriate time...

itsmejuli · Dec 17, 2010

With age and experience we (hopefully) get better at making decisions and dealing with issues that come up in life.

I'm putting effort into both Plan A and Plan B, it will be interesting to see which one pans out and where it takes me. Either way, I'll be happy.

Purple_Scrubs, BSN, RN · Dec 17, 2010

The way I deal with disappointment is by counting my blessings, and they are many. No matter how much it hurts when things don't work out the way I planned, I can always look at the things that I have that so many others don't. I am exceptionally blessed and remind myself of it daily, especially when things get tough.

classicdame, MSN, EdD · Dec 17, 2010

assess WHY you were disappointed. I imagine it had something to do with you or the job not living up to expectations. Assess what were the expectations that failed to measure up? Could the "failure" have been predicted? Should you change (I did not say lower!!) expectations? Once you can pinpoint why you are disappointed you can deal with it.

I had someone in my life once who constantly spit out verbal abuse. It bothered me a lot till I learned that the REASON it bothered me was I expected a different behavior. When I decided not to expect better behavior I no longer cared what was said and even could tune him out. Such freedom!! And it all took place in my head.

Meriwhen, ASN, BSN, MSN, RN · Dec 17, 2010

I try to learn from my disappointments. There's a lesson in every one of them, even if it's a small one.

I also take the attitude of "what was meant to be will be." If something happened--or didn't happen--I try to look at the event as being part of the larger picture. It's not always a consolation...especially at the moment of disappointment. But when looking back over my life many of those disappointments turned out to be nothing worth losing sleep over, and some of them even turned out to be blessings in disguise. So I keep pushing forward with my plans (or adjust them as needed) and try to have faith.

Zookeeper3 · Dec 17, 2010

All I can say, and understand if you're not a nurse... well you have no idea and I'm not being rude. Being a nurse is the hardest thing I've done in my life. It makes me whole, and I hate what I do at the same time. I'd like to tell you it balances out but it doesn't.

being a nurse requires you being way, way skilled in disappointment. Most of the time your efforts go unnoticed, people yell in your face for things beyond your control, family and patients act out, AT YOU for their loss of control. You're coding a patient and family writes a formal complaint about you that they waited for pain meds for 30 minutes, doctors yell at you, lab argues with you, PT is no help... the prior shift dumped a load of crap on you with the worst assignment ever and 3 of your patients have call bells ringing and your aids are on "break".

I'm not trying to talk you out of it, but nursing is so very hard and tough. To be successful, a healthy nurse is in a good place at home, doesn't take any of that personally (and that takes years) and can manage a very tough home life at home and be strong enough to have ENOUGH to give when they clock in to leave all of life at home and put everyone and everything first. That means lunch, a smoke break and managing other patients needs.

Some days, I'm not at my best, I admit it... but I have to have the inner strength to pull it off, to make patients and family think they are first, even if I'm not feeling it. That's what we do as nurses. And it is a ton of disappointment and little good.

Those good moments, for me are still enough. It's taken 16 years to get here, I never wondered from the get-go. I've grown a touch weary over time. The fact it concerns you prior to starting should be a HUGE red flag.

I don't mean to talk you out of a life goal, but you really need to know it's not a "job".