Daughter Refuses to Eat Meals

Danelle · Aug 5, 2004

My 2 1/2 year old went through the same thing. It is a phase, but it gets worse before it gets better. Soon she will also be picky about what types of foods she eats too. My Pediatrician says they will eat when they are hungry. She said that they only eat about 1000 calories a day, so what she snacks on during the day doesn't seem like a lot to you, but it may be plenty for her. The biggest marker is, Is she thriving and gaining weight? If so then she is fine. Ped also said if I was still concerned that I could give her a can of Pediasure a day to supplement.

With mine it seemed like at that age that eating was one of those mundain things that got in the way. She was just too busy to want to stop and eat,so I gave her things to take with her, but just made sure she didn't drop it or leave it anywhere.

Chevelle · Aug 6, 2004

My 2 1/2 year old went through the same thing. It is a phase, but it gets worse before it gets better. Soon she will also be picky about what types of foods she eats too. My Pediatrician says they will eat when they are hungry. She said that they only eat about 1000 calories a day, so what she snacks on during the day doesn't seem like a lot to you, but it may be plenty for her. The biggest marker is, Is she thriving and gaining weight? If so then she is fine. Ped also said if I was still concerned that I could give her a can of Pediasure a day to supplement.
With mine it seemed like at that age that eating was one of those mundain things that got in the way. She was just too busy to want to stop and eat,so I gave her things to take with her, but just made sure she didn't drop it or leave it anywhere.

Hey thanks!!! I feel better!! The pediasure is a great idea and I am so glad you told me about it-I would of probably never thought of it!

Thanks again-I really appreciate it!

Danelle · Aug 6, 2004

No Problem. Us Nursing Students/Moms of toddlers have to stick together!

By the way, the Pediasure is almost as expensive as baby formula, and the wal-mart brand seems to be just as good nutrition wise, but a lot cheaper. Also, Mine would only drink the vanilla, but then she's one of those odd birds that hates chocolate.

Good Luck!!!

Chevelle · Aug 6, 2004

No Problem. Us Nursing Students/Moms of toddlers have to stick together!
By the way, the Pediasure is almost as expensive as baby formula, and the wal-mart brand seems to be just as good nutrition wise, but a lot cheaper. Also, Mine would only drink the vanilla, but then she's one of those odd birds that hates chocolate.
Good Luck!!!

Off to wal-mart I go this weekend! Don't feel alone-my daughter will not drink chocholate milk!

kids · Aug 8, 2004

I'm adding my agreement that it is a phase and it will get worse before it gets better. It is amazing toddlers don't starve.

I wanted to add some things I think are important: Keep offering different foods at meal times and try to save the foods she will eat for snacks...but be sure not to feed such big snacks they become meals.

Don't turn meal times into a power struggle, you can not negotiate with a toddler as they don't possess the language skills to understand why they have to eat foods they don't want.

Is she still getting milk in bottles (if she's not bf)?

If so this is a good time to start transitioning to milk (and juice) from a sippy cup only and water only in the bottle. The transition may take several weeks (to months), gradually watering down the milk in the bottle can help.

Also if she is not on a multi-vitamin with iron this would be a good time to add one.

J Lynn · Aug 8, 2004

I know you guys are talking about toddlers, but I have to mention some things about my 3 1/2 year old daughter. She still doesn't eat. If it doesn't look like a mc donalds nugget.....forget it. She won't eat veggies. The only fruit she'll eat is bananas......even then she'll waste over half. She hates milk. Ever since she gave up the bottle at 13 months old.....she wouldn't take any milk-like substance in a sippy cup. No milkshakes or pediasure either. She weighs only 26lbs....but she's not skin and bones. She active and healthy otherwise. My husband's side of the family are short and I'm not very tall either (5' 3").

So....just wanted to let you know that it might not get better too soon. But to all you brand new moms/dads out there, don't mess up like I did. Make a time for meals and stick to it. Don't send them running all over the house with food to only find it 2 days later....not eaten. And introduce "the healthy foods" on a daily basis while they are still sitting in a highchair, 'cause when they get a mind of their own........it is a full blown battle.

chris_at_lucas_RN, RN · Aug 17, 2004

Two things you pretty much cannot force a child to do: eat and sleep.

As far as food goes, I'm with the other posters who wrote that if the kiddo is healthy and happy and active, then whatever it is they are doing, food-wise, is obviously working for them.

I'd let them have what they want. And then I would make myself something healthy and yummy and I would enjoy the heck out of it. (No eye contact about this--you are by yourself in your enjoyment of your meal.) Most kids will then want what you have. Isn't it too bad there's only enough for you? Next time, make a little more and when they ask, give them a little. If you keep that up, eventually they will be eating a more balanced diet.

This is an application of a general theory of mine, which I refer to as "chasing the puppy." You almost never can catch a puppy if you actively chase it. However, if you ignore it and begin to walk away, it almost always will chase you, and then you've got it.

If you make a subtle game out of it, you will both be happier.

purplemania, BSN, RN · Aug 17, 2004

AS a mother of young children I thought it was entirely necessary to eat only at specific times of the day. As a grandmother, I believe it is ok to let them graze. When they are school age they tend to want to sit down and eat at regular times because school is inflicting a schedule on them. But pre-schoolers, and toddlers especially, just offer a variety of small servings and hope for the best!

Energizer Bunny · Aug 17, 2004

My kids hate veggies (except the baby...he loves them!) I don't know what to do to get them to eat them, but if it even remotely looks like a veggie.....forget it! They DO, however, eat a lot of other things...fruits, etc.

DZcarrie · Aug 18, 2004

this is kinda not related, but this reminded me of my sister's friend.

the kid wouldn't eat anything but mashed potatoes, chocolate, and peanut butter crackers.

the kid grew up, is now 20, and still only eats those 3 things!

i know..sounds like fiction, but i am not lying. i think she's well beyond the point of a phase and needs a psych consult.

chris_at_lucas_RN, RN · Aug 18, 2004

Sounds like my husband. From the time he was able to assert himself, he pretty much got what he wanted, how he wanted it. First wife (God rest her soul) just kind of carried on with How It Was.

Enter moi. Okay, I'm not interested in changing him, but I did use the technique I described earlier on this thread. I figured, worse case scenario, more of the good stuff for me!

He still will not touch a vegetable unless it is a Roma tomato. No fruits except the one banana in the a.m. But he likes fish and eats entrees which are differently seasoned than he was used to.

BUT the daily staples are several slices of white bread, 1/4 to 1/3 bag of fritos, several orange slices (the candy--but he likes to suggest he can count it as a "fruit"), and two liters more or less of root beer. He likes hotdogs and that awful lunch meat that is fat held together with some kind of amorphous formerly-muscle fiber and dotted with some cheesy looking stuff!

You know what stinks? At 60, after a life time of this lousy diet, his labs are better than mine! His BP is better than mine! He never gets a cold, doesn't have arthritis. Ms Natural here, for whom a day without fiber is a day without sunshine, living on fruits and vegetables (I actually like them!)!

No surprise, he doesn't get any exercise either.

As for the 20 year old with her chocolate, peanut butter crackers and mashed potatoes, if it's working for her, I'd leave it alone. Peer pressure didn't do it for her, what good will a psych consult do?

I think there's very little joy in a life that can't enjoy food preferences. If you're worried, give 'em a vitamin.