Cussed out by a family member

RN1982 · Sep 2, 2008

I would say yes. I wouldn't taken an assignment if I know that the day before I was confronted by a visitor. I don't think I would have stood there and took the verbal assault I would have walked away.

icyounurse, BSN, RN · Sep 2, 2008

I really hope your managers back you up and do not tolerate this behavior from family. And another nurse should be assigned to that patient in my opinion. You should NOT have to deal with this as part of your job.

When administration doesnt back up nurses in these instances it puts us nurses in a terrible position. Kudos for handling yourself so well. I would have had a hard time not saying something back in your shoes.

leslie :-D · Sep 2, 2008

God love you, julie.

i am certain i could have never exercised the restraint that you did.

(((hugs))) to you, honey.

leslie

MN BigJ · Sep 2, 2008

I just read your previous post. You are well within your rights. If the pt is A&O and competent enough to make his/her own decision then the child has no legal rights to decide what should be done alone, POA or not. Also, it is within your facilities rights to have that person barred from property or in the least explained that if they continue to act in this way the can be escorted from the property or even arrested if you push it far enough.

Good luck with the whole situation.

Jolie, BSN · Sep 2, 2008

Administration and security need to contact this man immediately and set up an appointment during which he must be made aware (in no uncertain terms) that his behavior will not be tolerated. He should be required to apologize to you, and told that he will be immediately and permanently escorted out of the facility if he behaves that way again. From now on, he should never be in the presence of a single staff member. Any staff member should be accompanied by a second employee when he is present. Also, it is time for a call to APS, as his mother is suffering if your staff cannot properly care for her due to his behavior.

If anything less than these actions are taken by your employer, I would file a police report and request a restraining order.

Good luck to you.

jschut, BSN, RN · Sep 2, 2008

I was told after the fact that we now have permission to ask this person to leave and/or have him/her arrested if need be.

I've never had that happen before, and am in shock with the whole thing.

I am going to request that I do not have this patient on my ticket anymore, and I will pick up someone else's person. I am sure the gals I work with will help me out.

Jolie, BSN · Sep 2, 2008

I was told after the fact that we now have permission to ask this person to leave and/or have him/her arrested if need be.

When this happens again, whether it happens to you or another staff member, please give him one opportunity to leave, then call your supervisor and 911.

I would suggest developing a plan and possibly a "code" to announce overhead, if your facility does not already have such a plan in place.

This guy is truly a danger to both the staff and his mother.

nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN · Sep 2, 2008

This is why I couldn't do LTC -- we get our share of psycho's on my tele floor, but they eventually go home. With LTC, they can be there for years.

Don't hesitate to call the cops. We've had to do it, and usually I found the cops will be there in a flash if we call saying we've got a pt or pt's family threatening the staff. I had a pt's family member spin me around, yelling, "don't turn your back on me, b****" and a cop who was on the floor for something else had him up against the wall in like 3 seconds, and hauled him out by the short hairs. Guy didn't hurt me, just startled the pants off me. Cop asked me what I wanted, and I was so shocked I just said, "Him outta here, and I don't want him back." Don't know what the cop said or did, but the guy didn't come back to see "grandma."

hollyberry678 · Sep 2, 2008

Well, that is about the same thing that happened to me, the finger pointing, narrowed eyes, yelling, insulting...only it was by an AIDE...as I have mentioned in previous posts.

And many of the replies I got were that I needed to work this out. The mgt didn't do much...And I have to WORK with this person, who last time, went to the charge because "I didn't communicate with her". Well, I am at this point intimidated by her.

oslogirl · Sep 2, 2008

I would say yes, absolutely. The family member's behavior constitutes assault. I would'nt put up with it.

woody62, RN · Sep 2, 2008

I would take a different route from what many have suggested here. It is not pleasant to be berated by a family member, especially in front of others. But this gives you an opportunity to use all those excellent communication skills you learn in your program. I would calmly ask the person to step into another room with me. And once there, I would have validated the person's anger but also asked what they were so upset about. And asked what we could do to change the situation or help the resident. It could be something as simple as the person having a bad day or being overly concerned about a patient. Or it could be the result of another person treating the parent or visitor rudely.

The visitor stuck his finger in your face. He/she did not physically assault you or threat you. Calling the police is going a little out of bounds for me. It has been my experience, when a visitor is angry, he/she is not angry at me specifically but at another nurse or the physician or worried about their parent and feel very impotent. As long as a person does not physically assault me, I am willing to listen and even be blasted. And then attempt to resolve the situation. If the individual refuses to discuss the matter, I would warn him/her that such behavior would not be tolerated the next time. And would result in the removal of the individual from the grounds.

Woody:twocents: