Crying at work

[freckles23]

I have been an RN for 4 years. Today I had an emotional shift where a patient’s care became escalated very quick. He ended up needing to be intubated and had to have massive transfusions and eventually had to go to SICU. I followed everything I needed to do and reached out to our ICU nurse and other nurses for opinions and thats when the residents and everybody.. 20 or so people came in the room... finally escalated his care. It wasnt a rapid response but it should have been but it all happened so fast once the ICU nurse came and there was no way to document accurately and timely. There was chaos everywhere in the room and once I transferred the patient, I broke down. I cried infront of coworkers I felt comfortable with about how I feel I shoulda, coulda, woulda did this so it didnt escalate so quickly but it was also the MDs fault alot of things werent carried out. I felt like a fool crying infront of them but I couldnt hold it back. Usually im okay but the fact that I bonded with him and his family, it just hurt a lot more. I feel like when something like that happens, everyone looks at the nurse like why wasnt something done sooner or that I didnt carry out my duties well enough. I was with the patient ALL night, busted my butt and my concern was being neglected by the PMD. Anyone else ever feel this way? I just feel guilty. I admitted him and he was alright but 2 shifts later he eventually decompensated. It made me upset that he decompensated when I took care of him twice. It made me upset to see the family walk into ICU because I dont want them to look at me with ill will like I caused it or didnt act quick enough when he was fine when the left at night. Share your stories pleasee.

[jess11RN]

I have found that when I'm in an intense life or death situation, I break down in tears afterwards. I'm solid during the time, but after that huge adrenaline rush, it all catches up to me.

They don't just admit anyone for no reason, so the potential for a patient to go down the tubes is always there. You just happened to be his nurse when he went down. You noticed that he was doing poorly and you did the right thing in asking for help/advice, therefore getting him the extra care that he needed. Kudos to you!! Don't beat yourself up over it.

You know those seasoned nurses who just seem to have that spidy sense? They just know something is going to happen and they can't put their finger on it? It's experiences like this that build that sense.

[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

These things happen, don't beat yourself up, you did your best. Patients go bad everywhere in the hospital, it's good that you were as proactive as you were, you potentially prevented a much worse outcome. Try not to focus too much on the things you think weren't done, that won't get you anywhere. I know I've had a few shifts where going back the next day was tough, feeling like I had lost a bit of confidence, but you've gained some new skills and experience. You did the best for your patient.

[AceOfHearts<3]

I’m an ICU nurse. I’ve had a patient that I knew something more was going on with and I made that known. I watched him like a hawk and just had a feeling something horrible was going to happen. A couple of days later when I wasn’t at work it happened-the patient crashed and crashed bad. When I found out the next shift I worked, I had an ugly cry in the car on my way home from work. Sometimes there is more we can do and other times we just have to wait for the milk to spill and clean up the mess.

[herring_RN, ASN, BSN]

I agreed to work a night I was off because I wanted the overtime to afford a school field trip for my kids.

I was sent to oncology. One patient had lung cancer and cardiac damage from chemotherapy, anemic, and had previous episodes of CHF. She was DNR. One daughter was a nurse and the other a nursing student. The distraught husband was holding her hand.

The patient was "stable" according to report alert in no distress when I first assessed her. She asked for a Bible.

About the middle of the shift the call light went on. The patient was extremely SOB. I called the house officer who ordered morphine.

Husband and daughters were reading aloud from the Bible. The patient struggled to talk telling her loved ones how much she loved them and was ready to go.

The charge nurse told me I could stay with her. He would look after my other patients. They brought me into their circle, prayed, and sang hyms. I couldn't help crying and began to hiccough. It was embarrassing, but I stayed with them, answered questions, and made a call to her physician.

The charge nurse told me it was unprofessional to cry. He said he would have stayed with the patient if I had asked.

That was almost 30 years ago. Every year I get a Christmas card sent to the hospital, even since retiring. The family really appreciated that I did my best to care for her.

Even when we don't want to go to work, or just want a bigger paycheck we sometimes help.

Nursing is useful work, sometimes we can comfort.

[jobellestarr]

I’ve been a nurse for 35 years and still cry. We’re human and actually, why shouldn’t we respond with tears? Don’t ever lose your sensitivity as it will make you bitter and hateful in my experience. Blessings ❤️

[PediatricMA]

I've had much older wiser nurses that I am very bless to work with tell me that once i lose my humanity then its time to retire. We're human, emotions come with the package.