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Discussion

Cry Baby

I am a nursing student and am a big cry baby when it comes to tragic stories of patients or just tragic stories in general. Will I get used to it and become a tough cookie or will I be walking around the hospital crying all the time??!! How long does it usually take to adapt to such a stressful. happy, and sad environment?

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    I'm with you on this! My emotions (good or bad) get the best of me all the time. While others may see it as unprofessional, (and definitely depending on the situation) I think that patients may see crying as encouraging that the nurse can empathize or even celebrate what they are going through. Hopefully you're not bawling over IV starts and giving infants immunizations or anything, but I think shedding a few tears over a terminal diagnosis or seeing a life saving treatment, procedure, or new birth is normal. I may be frightened by a nurse who DID NOT get emotional over these types of things. Unfortunately, I think that many nurses get jaded over the years and become desensitized to such stuff. It sounds like you have a heart for people and you're going to be a fantastic nurse!

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    And why do we get "desensitized"?

    The very definition of being desensitized is repeated exposure to a stimulus until it no longer elicits the same reaction. If we carried all that tragedy, sorrow and suffering all the time, we would be unable to function, totally stressed- and burned-out, and useless as nurses. OP: it isn't a choice of "tough cookie" or "cry baby". You can be compassionate and caring without tears.

    Part of being a professional nurse is the ability to feel compassion for a situation with out losing the ability to function well. I rarely cry any more, I've seen too much. Doesn't stop me from offering a hug, a hand squeeze, kind words to people. Then I move on; and of a necessity leave behind thier tragedy. If I fall apart, who will take care of the patient and family? Or the patient in the next room who also deserves competent care?

    In a major trauma, getting emotional isn't going to help anybody, least of all the poor thing on my stretcher screaming. The best compassion I can give is to advocate and give pain meds as quickly as possible.

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    I once had a family member ask me how I could stand to be around such suffering all the time? (pt having an MI). I looked at her and blurted out "because I'm doing something about it!".

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    It's a good quality, don't lose it. It means you won't be suited to handle some working environments, and that's OK. I am similar. I see myself in oncolgy, or hospice, or HIV/AIDS treatment...places where you really have to care a heck of a lot.

    You will learn to manage the literal crying aspect. ;) Most of the time anyway. Patients are not just patients. It's OK to treat them like people.

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    I'm a cry baby too. I'm hoping to get a little bit desensitized, because I want to end up in hospice. Knowing that each of my patients is going to die on me from the get go may help, but I'm going to have to toughen up quick.

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    I used to get very emotional, but as I near graduation, I am much better at separating my emotions from the issue at hand.

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    I tend to have an extremely thick skin and I never cry over anything. However, I fully expect to shed a few tears during OB seeing that first baby born. I cannot have kids, so I expect this to be emotional for me (happy emotions).

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    I think you will always have a reaction to it, but with time you should be able to better manage your reactions. People are divided on this, but I believe that when a nurse is crying in front of a patient, the focus comes off of the patient and onto the nurse. Can you step out of the room and shed a few tears in the break room or bathroom? Of course. Then come back and be an advocate for your patient. Use your compassion to your advantage.

    I can get emotional about my patients too, but I feel like there is a time and place for me to put myself first. Last week I saw a very tragic death on a critical care unit (I work as an aide). The family was crying in the hallway as hospital workers from various disciplines slowly filed out of the room after doing everything they could in a code. You could not watch without feeling choked up. I was able to work through my feelings by talking to different nurses throughout the night as the opportunity arose.

    And, I was openly tearing up the first time I saw a baby being born. That was just magical.

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    You'll get better at it, because you will come to realize that it is not about you, it is about what you can do for them, in that moment. You won't have the power to cure much, but your power will lie in how you assist the patient and their family. And breaking down into tears really doesn't do much for them. I can't say you will "toughen up", but you will learn to be appropriate and you will learn that your focus on the situation often changes when you are put in the position of being responsible for what is happening. I know when I am working with patients, I am often more oriented to what is going on for this day, this shift, this moment. I don't have time to dwell on all the intimate aspects that lead me to a committed emotional reaction. I don't know what their outcome is ultimately going to be, but I focus on what the goals are while they are in my care. That helps, both in not feeling helpless on their behalf and in not processing the whole sad story in a way that is debilitating. Goals for the shift are more along the line of pain control, increased activity tolerance, improved oxygenation, appopriate fluid levels, etc. I rarely find those are goals that cause me to break down as we work on them and often energize me when things are going well and alternately consume me professionally when they are not. No time for tears, I'm too busy.

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    Thank you everyone for your responses! I just didn't know if nurses that shed tears frequently would be stepped on by other staff members being as they are seen as "weak" or rookies

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    Yes. Often they are, especially if it makes them inappropriate or slow.

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    I've always been a very emotional and sensitive person, but I care about people and want to help, which is why I went into nursing...

    I cried 3x in school, all in the final semester during my ICU/ER clinicals (which, ironically, is where I want to work eventually). We had a 9 month old cardiac arrest come into the ER during my rotation there. I have a 2 year old so it was very emotional for me. Made me realize I can't do kids.

    Second time I was in ICU, a patient came in w/ a head bleed and was in a coma. Patient's wife was talking about how long they had been married and he was her rock, etc. I had to walk out of the room because I started crying.

    Last time I cried, we had a teenager in the ICU who had been ejected from a car during a MVA and fractured C-verts leaving him a quad. It was hard for me, seeing a 16 year old who would now have to rely on people to do things for him, but also the amount of support and his positive outlook was absolutely amazing.

    All 3 times I cried, I was supported by techs, nurses, and even doctors telling me that it was okay, it's okay for the families to see it because it shows you are human and compassionate, but that as time goes on, it does get easier to handle it. They also said as you gain more experience, you learn to compartmentalize and keep work separate from your personal life.

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