Coworker was fired yesterday.

[flashpoint]

One of my coworkers was fired yesterday. She had been put on suspension a few times and she had been sent to counseling because she has a tendancy to make rude comments to patients. She once told a patient who had been incontinent of stool several times that she was making baby like messes. The patient started to cry and she then told the patient that not only did she poop like a baby, but she cried like one too. The patient died the nest day and the family was devastated that her comment was one of the last things said to their loved one before she became unconscious and went dramatically downhill. She'd had several patients complain about her attitude and that they felt like they were troubling her every time they put their call light on. She also had a habit of pushing a lot of her work off on the CNAs, while she sat and read the newspaper, etc. She'd been talked to about that habit several times. Saturday, she had another patient who had been up to the commode several times. This 98 year old woman had never been in the hospital in her entire life and she'd only been sick enough to see a doctor a few times. The nurse told the patient that if she needed the commode one more time she was going to "stick a plug in her hole so the nurses could get some real work done." The patient was devastated by the comment and the patient's son was ready to kill the nurse. The patient didn't put her call light on for the rest of the shift and the next shift found her in tears with stool and urine everywhere. I don't really know why the family didn't report this to the charge nurse or request another nurse or something. Yesterday, the family called the nurse manager to complain and the nurse was fired soon after. She'd been warned a few weeks ago that if she had any more patient complaints that she would be terminated.

So, here's my dilemma. This nurse called me today and asked me if she could use me as a reference when she applied for other jobs. I told her that I couldn't give her a good reference with a clear conscience. I feel sort of guilty about that. When she does a good job, she does a very good job, but when she doesn't she is nothing short of horrible. I still hate the idea that she is out of work and is probably going to have a tough time finding another job. I know have no reason to feel guilty, but...sigh! Should I call her and tell her I changed my mind and focus on her positive attributes if someone calls or should I stick to my guns? Thanks for reading my vent!

[barefootlady, ADN, RN]

This situation is sad. I would not want her taking care of me or any of my family members. She needs counselling on abuse issues, stress management, and anger control. If she does use you as a reference, please be honest, state clearly her positive as well as her negative attributes. I only hope she will not abuse any other elderly, needy, dying patients.

[tiroka03, LPN]

Personal dynamics of a situation you are facing are interesting. Recently a co worker of my was fired for basically the same thing. She also wanted to use me as a reference. I said no, but I am sure she put my name down anyway.

She was manipulative to other workers, lying and changing the truth to fit her stories. Many people we taken in by her, some were afraid of her. When someone tries to get you to do something that is wrong, it's called manipulation.

You don't need to have people in your life like that. DO you?

[CseMgr1, ASN, RN]

Where did this woman go to nursing school?? Dakow?? :angryfire

[danu3]

A few comments.

* I don't know about the nursing world in terms of references. But I do know now a days there are cases where someone gave a bad reference and the person has gotten sued. So be careful. If she puts you down for a reference and you get called, don't say anything bad, just say you did not give permission to her to put you down for a reference and refuse to sAY anything good or bad about her.

* Your co-worker probably need some professional help as suggested by other posts. She is not fit for the nursing profession as of now. You are doing her a favor by not being a reference so maybe she can find some other employment opportunity outside of nursing.

* Your co-worker's manager may have already suggested professional help. She may or may not take up the offer as you will not know since these things are fairly confidential.

* Your co-worker actions is also damaging the nursing reputation. So by not giving her a reference, you are doing what you can to protect the your profession's reputation.

* By not giving a reference, you are putting future patients' safety first. Remember nurses are avocate for patients.

* If you want to help her, encourage her to go into another field. This will be a win-win for everyone, for her, for any future patients, for the CNAs that she mistreated, for the nursing professions.

-Dan

[squeakykitty]

Does it scare anyone else that she will get another job somewhere else, and treat other in the same manner??

I know this thread is 4 years old, but I just found it, and had to say:

I sincerely hope this person is not a nurse or any type of caregiver today. Stress, bad mood or frustration is absolutely no excuse for doing this. If she can't stand the poo---she can stay outta the floor.

[RNview]

nursing is a profession focused on assisting individuals, families, and communities in attaining, maintaining, and recovering optimal health and functioning. modern definitions of nursing define it as a science and an art that focuses on promoting quality of life as defined by persons and families, throughout their life experiences from birth to care at the end of life.

after reading your post about your co-worker, i don't think she could be a safe and effective nurse. she may use you as a reference, but you have to tell them the truth "objectively". honestly, she doesn't deserve to have her nursing license. there's nothing to feel guilty about. everything happens for a reason. she should be responsible for everything she does. not you.

[CRNI-ICU20]

Why would you ever feel guilty about telling the truth? You didn't make her bed, SHE MADE HER OWN BED; let her deal with it!!

You do not need to take ownership of her bad behaviour by feeling guilty for telling her truthfully that you could not give a good reference for her.....

IT'S NOT YOUR PROBLEM IF SHE GOT HERSELF FIRED AND NOW HAS NO INCOME.....

Stop being an enabler!!

She's an adult, with a big communication problem and an even bigger personality problem....maybe she can find a job where she doesn't have to deal with people and can read the paper all day....

Like maybe the dog pound, or a dispatcher's office for a Maytag repairman....or phone sex hot line in the middle of the Nevada desert...

There is a certain criteria when it comes to working with the sick and elderly.....she clearly showed her employer and co-workers that she wasn't able to meet that criteria.....

I see no dilemmna here....you did the right and righteous thing....

now dump the guilt...

crni

[GingerSue]

after reading your description - why should this person be offered

another position in nursing to provide care for people?

[aKyRN81]

Like maybe the dog pound, quote]

Please don't suggest subjecting the innocent animals to this 'nurse' and her inhumane behaviors..

[rnmomtobe2010]

This is a sin and a shame. I know there are heartless people in the world, but my word, this one cuts the cake.

[CRNI-ICU20]

Not suggesting that this nurse would be hired at a dog pound....just a figure of speech....try to have a sense of humor....notice the comment about sex hot line in Nevada??? it was meant to be funny....like the Maytag repairman dispatcher??? funny....

there's a difference between ACTUAL suggestion and SARCASTIC suggestion....

[DeLana_RN, BSN, RN]

Sounds like she has a personality disorder. She definitely has no business working as a nurse (I'm trying to think of a suitable non-pt care position and can't come up with any... except maybe housekeeping; there she can abuse the mop and bucket).

Agree with others, no reference (except a bad, oops accurate one, "off the record - I'll deny it" ) - and reporting her to the BON should be considered. I'm just amazed (no - disgusted) that it took so long for her to get canned.

DeLana