Contemplating on quitting my first RN hospital job

[beeg12]

I'll try to keep this short and simple-- I received my RN license last year (October 2015), but had been already working as an LVN at a SNF for about 4 months already (which was my first nursing job). The entire time I was vying for a hospital job because i thought and was convinced that's the place for new nurse to be-- to get that acute setting experience and develop my critical care thinking etc. Anyways, I was lucky enough to get an offer for a position on a busy Progressive Tele floor. During the interview, when asked what shift I would prefer I said day shift because I was already used to working that shift, and I felt that I would learn more. Surprisingly, I got the day shift and have been on my orientation for about 2 and a half months now, i'm like 2 weeks out before being on my own and i am terrified. I find that all the nurses on day shift are the "veteran", seasoned nurses, which should be a great thing because they're all knowledgable and experienced, but I find that they tease us (new orientees) for being "slow" and that we need to "pick up the pace". We are constantly reminded (in front of everyone) by our preceptors that "If you wanna work here bla bla bla" or "You guys aren't out of the woods yet", like we're constantly reminded that if we do poorly then we aren't retained by the unit.

I find myself extremely anxious and stressed out all the time that it seeps into my home life. My preceptor pretty much leaves me to own devices at work and I feel that I irritate her with all my questions. I don't feel like i'm ready to be on my own and that there's still so much idk how to do. I try my best to prepare and study at home things i'm not familiar with so i'm not too lost on the floor. And though I leave pretty much on time from work, all my preceptor can say is that I need to hurry up with my med pass and time manage more.

I am feeling so discouraged now that what I wanted so bad has turned out to be so freaking terrible. I hate driving to work, and leave feeling depressed. I contemplate every second on the floor why am I staying in this hellhole. Has anyone else felt like this during their orientation? Or as a new nurse just off orientation? I need some perspective please I feel embarrassed talking to the orientees about how incompetent I feel (and probably am) and that i feel like quitting all the time.

[AJJKRN]

Welcome to your first year in a new environment.

You already have experience, just not in a hospital setting.

Find someone you can ask questions to...like if you have a unit educator.

Otherwise, use this time to learn how to find your own answers just in case you don't have many peers on a shift that will help you as in: where are the protocols, drug references, education opportunities. Just keep in mind, even if you don't have peers around that you feel are helpful, if you're in a situation where pt care could be comprised, such up your pride and still ask around. Who cares what others think when it's in the best interests of the patient anyways.

Keep your head down, focus on your work, be nice but just do your job to the best of your ability and soon you will find that your peers will be a little less high school with you and your anxiety will be a little less too.

Patience is a virtue ;-) Good luck!

[hppygr8ful, ASN, RN, EMT-I]

Welcome to your first year in a new environment.

You already have experience, just not in a hospital setting.

Find someone you can ask questions to...like if you have a unit educator.

Otherwise, use this time to learn how to find your own answers just in case you don't have many peers on a shift that will help you as in: where are the protocols, drug references, education opportunities. Just keep in mind, even if you don't have peers around that you feel are helpful, if you're in a situation where pt care could be comprised, such up your pride and still ask around. Who cares what others think when it's in the best interests of the patient anyways.

Keep your head down, focus on your work, be nice but just do your job to the best of your ability and soon you will find that your peers will be a little less high school with you and your anxiety will be a little less too.

Patience is a virtue ;-) Good luck!

This is super advice. Not every work environment is going to be friendly, supportive and helpful. I don't like to use the term bully for normal human behavior, so it may just be that these nurses are using this type of gray humor to push you into stretching your wings. Try to find the answers to some of your questions to show you have the initiative to find your own resources. I've been a nurse for a pretty long time and I find that I still look stuff up and research. In fact the day I think I know everything is the day I will hang up my nursing shoes. You are at the beginning of your journey from novice to expert - there will be many trials on your way - Your preceptor may actually be trying to ready you to be on your own.

Do not let your work bleed over into your home life. That is a sure road to burn out. Find a non-nursing passion outside of work and pursue it.

Lastly I will give you a quote my daddy used to say "You wouldn't worry so much about what other people thought of you if you realize how rarely they did."

Hppy

[K9lover, ASN, RN]

Lastly I will give you a quote my daddy used to say "You wouldn't worry so much about what other people thought of you if you realize how rarely they did."

I LOVE that one!

[K9lover, ASN, RN]

Oh the irony that the last item I read here was about an experienced nurse who had made a med error due, in part, to the pace of the unit. Don't let yourself get too rushed (I know with bedside care it seems impossible.) I used to feel as if I slowed the pace for a nanosecond I'd be hopelessly behind not unlike a Salmon swimming upstream to spawn.

Try not to take it home with you.

[caliotter3]

The possibility of being forced back to your previous work environment would be enough to keep me in place. Once you have survived this unit, you will have a broader opportunity in front of you.

[amzyRN]

Try to stick it out and don't rush too much so you make a mistake. Keep the mindset of only being able to do the best you can do and that is all you can control. Try to change your own internal environment before changing the external one. The first year is allways very tough.

[SummerGarden, BSN, MSN, RN]

OP: I read many responses, but I do not know if anyone mentioned for you to ask to work another shift. I read you stated that the more seasoned nurses work the Day shift. Many times this is true and for many of the "seasoned" nurses their thoughts are "I earned this shift." For those same nurses, a New Grad on Days is a nice hearty snack and someone who did not put his/her time in to have the honor of the Day shift.

As a New Grad myself, I requested night shift because as a tech I saw the NOC shift where I worked to be more of a family/team. So, my advice to you is to try the NOC shift and if NOC does not work for you and your lifestyle, then try PMs. PMs in my experience is another shift full of team players. In fact, you might be surprised by the number of supports on those two shifts compared to the Day shift that will mean he difference between your success and your failure. Just a thought. Good luck.

[BackInTheSaddle, BSN, RN]

The responses above have good suggestions. I hope you are doing better. I do have to insert here that I am disappointed in the verbal responses you have received in front of others, if I read your post correctly. Corrections as to your pace, etc. should be done outside of the ears of others. Otherwise, it is belittling & that is not professional. Encouragement goes a long way & I wish nurses would be more uplifting to those just starting out.

[mizzsro]

It's totally normal to feel that way. There is nothing wrong with taking a step away from and regrouping. Your mental and emotional health is much more important. Good luck!